Marky Craig

I turned 30

2011-03-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

...And my male bestie got me a Dollywood shirt that sparkles. While my fab 4 ladies threw me a diva party, where Dolly, Beyonce, Robyn, Kylie and Katy showed up to. And my favourite Flight Attendant provided the duty free booze.

So many other of my favourite people came. It was great to share this day with friends and the night's signature drink the Marktini, Vodka, Triple Sec and a Splash of Rickard's White. Pics below:

These Brides look like Bitches

2011-03-22T21:37:00.000-07:00

"Grrr. I am trying to be fierce but I just am going to make a man very unhappy for the rest of his life." - Angry Latino at the bottom.

Help Angie Help Mark Zuckerberg Save the World

2011-02-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

I love this little lady. Watch this video and like the facebook group.

6 month old Baby Will.......

2010-11-30T23:33:00.000-08:00

...Didn't not like Unky Mark's laugh all day Sunday. He will come around and not look so scared. But it make him stop laughing and look scared and serious at me.

Amazing: Phil V does it again...

2010-11-30T23:29:00.000-08:00

And this time with a posse of baby fly girls! My mentor and hero Phil has danced his newest dance. Dancing through the Royal Ontario Museum. He has bitched slapped my little, neglected dance blog pieces to next Tuesday.

The female equivalent of me is back in Canada!

2010-11-30T23:21:00.000-08:00

Yay! Chelsea Handler's Talk Show, the best one out there in my opinion is back in Canada. Yay! She kills me, which at 11pm therefore kills my 3 neighbours. Reasons why I like Chelsea:

1) We both like to make jaws drop.
2) We both like the blacks. She is dating 50 cent. Mine is better and has not been shot.
3) We both like to drink.
4) We both have a posse of very short people.
5) Her shoes are getting a bit better but still need some work. Same goes for me.

This was a few years ago...

2010-11-30T23:18:00.000-08:00

But still awesome considering this remix. As Australian Angie would say "We lurve Oprah!"

Amazing: Girl camera tricks

2010-11-06T16:33:00.000-07:00

I love Halloween

2010-11-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

This year I was Ja'mie from the Australian TV show Summer Heights High. I think it turned out quite nicely.
This is my favourite Ja'mie scene ever.

Friday Falls: Taylor goes down

2010-11-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

My beloved Taylor Swift gets scared last year on Ellen. Hilarious.

Hairless for the first time in 16 months

2010-10-13T22:35:00.000-07:00

I now only shave for weddings and this Saturday marks the first time I've been to a wedding in 16 months. Here is my fresh ass face. I like hair better. Growl!

Ba ha ha: Penis

2010-10-05T22:50:00.000-07:00

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Here is some pussy for you...

2010-10-05T22:46:00.000-07:00

Since it's been awhile. Mya Pussy's anus was actually not clean and she used my hand as toilet paper after this photo. I was not impressed and quickly washed up. She is now cleaning her bum with her tongue. Not to self: No Mya kisses tomorrow.

Amazing: No words.

2010-09-28T21:39:00.000-07:00

Ba ha ha

Music to my ears: Shayne Ward

2010-09-28T21:36:00.000-07:00

I am a huge sucker of romance songs. This is my current fav. Thanks for showing it to me C.P.R.

Here I am

2010-09-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

Okay I suck at blogging as of late. But I am a really good worker, friend and person to date. All that took up my September and it was great.

As much as I like to blog, I like living life and getting out of the house and spending time with my favourite people.

To make up for my lack of blogging over the month here is a picture of me dancing topless in Michelle's living room. My gift to you.
I think my chest hair is the same thickness of my entire upper body. Ba ha ha!

Canadian Summer

2010-09-06T22:54:00.000-07:00

Nothing is better regardless of what season then having one of the countries most creative and amazing minds follow you and your favourite people with her camera for the summer. The outcome is a super happy video that heavily features my adorable adoptive mom Joy Bird. Enjoy...

Joy to the Bird.

canadian summer from Von Bird on Vimeo.

Let's go to the Ex

2010-09-04T16:33:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night was EX night.I also really like the swings. I could ride fake drop zone all day and night. My all time fav.
I also really like the swings. I could ride fake drop zone all day and night. My all time fav.
Classy Asian Strippers afraid of the pole. I would be too! It's ecky.Feeling dirty, tired and done. Must immediately run home and scrub. Carnivals and Carnis are dirty.

Friday Falls: Security Goes Down

2010-08-29T23:43:00.000-07:00

Music to my ears: Stars

2010-08-29T23:31:00.000-07:00

I have owned the new Stars CD for a few weeks now but just iPod landed on it this week. Love this song. On repeat all day (that's what I do) and loud (which I never do because my dad would never let me listen to music loud. He also got worried when I used Q-Tips.) He is sensitive to ears (along with everything else) and I am a huge ass spaz,

Amazing: Kurt reviews a book

2010-08-29T22:58:00.000-07:00

Ba ha ha! My friend Kurt has been reviewing children's books about Bears, which he is a fan of. Here is his most recent review.

Amazing: Real life Pac-Man

2010-08-29T21:11:00.000-07:00

These guys are amazing. Thanks to Lekan for posting.

Who is this lanky loser....

2010-08-25T21:04:00.000-07:00

Another day, another dollar, another paparazzi. Look who got blindsided in a post about the ad behind him on Torontoist.

Happy Birthday Elle

2010-08-18T21:10:00.000-07:00

Just before Christmas she left us after a few years in Canada from Australia. She broke my heart among others and then just like any relationship end I have 7 hours pass and I realize they were worth it anyhow. NEXT!!!!!!

But I still adore my dearest Elle and here is why:

1) She had True Blood dinner nights.

2) She has the mouth of a drunken northern Ontario Grandma

3) She was my partner in crime for every Yes Yes Y'all before it got huge and all our friends would come.

4) We once got picked up by siblings at a bar (and we will never speak of this again.)

5) She is one of the most amazing copy writers I have had the pleasure to meet.

6) She loves the wigs. Wigs make me melt.

7) Her and Cat, once promised to call me from the bar in Australia b/c Dolly Parton came on. Too bad they didn't have my number.

8) She still, despite her distance, in my humble opinion is the reigning co-queen of Ronnies Local 069 in Kensington Market.

9) She calls me possum.

10) She bought Angie Cheetah vest! Do not even get me started.

10.5) We both love the occasional dessert. And I love her.

Happy Birthday Elle!

Amazing: Dancing in my grocery store

2010-08-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

I briefly met Phil Villeneuve for the first time when my friend had mutual friends of his swimming in the Christie Pitts pool, late night during a heat wave for free. I knew who Phil V was. He is an amazing DJ who plays some of my favourite nights. I also thought he made Marky Craig Blog's Dance Move of the Week look amateur when Toronto Blog Torontoist posted this about his previous dance videos.

Phil out did himself last week when he did my new favourite song, Any Which Way by Scissor Sisters with a cameo from a good friend of mine Tynomi Banks in my very own grocery store at the Dufferin Mall. Oh, no he didn't. Oh, yes he did!

It's amazing and he is my hero.

You could say that shit was bananas. I say that shit was awesome!

I made this video for my friend Derrick...

2010-08-18T20:22:00.000-07:00

We have been inseparable since we met in March and then the loser went and got a job in the east coast for 6 weeks. He told me earlier this week he missed my laugh. So I made him this video complete with a grammatical error. Since the video was for leisure I didn't brother fixing the error.

And...Ba Ha Ha I brother instead of bother up above to fool you as I was talking about grammatical errors. Ba ha ha! Suckas.

Happy Birthday Marcia

2010-08-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

My super amazing sister in law celebrated a birthday a few weeks back (I'm a crappy brother-in-law.) Now she gets the props she deserves:

Here is why she is so special:

1) She bore me three amazing nephews.

2) She is really great to talk to for advice.

3) She loves the pop culture. Much like me.

4) She takes me to 2 Oscar nominated movies every February. It's Marcia and Mark's Oscar Movie Marathon Madness.

5) She is my dance partner at weddings until I whip her off the floor for my "Paper Planes" solo.

6) She is an amazing mother and her kids will reap the benefits as they age because of the all schooling, arts, crafts and activities she does with them. They are very advanced.

7) She has a cottage that sadly I have been too busy to go to the last 2 years. :(

8) She is probably the most giving person I know.

9) She likes the pay TV. I love the pay TV.

10) She makes my big bro very happy.

Happy Belated Marcia!

How cute is my sidekick

2010-08-11T21:13:00.001-07:00

Love this photo!

Dance move of the week: Get Me Bodied

2010-08-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

So my lovers, the reason I haven't had a dance move of the week in ages is because a) it hot in my apartment. b) I did this dance to Beyonce's Get Me Bodied 3 months ago and have never been crazy of the outcome. So instead of dancing in a sauna to a new song tonight I decided to just cal out what I don't like about it.

xo
Enjoy,
Marky

And re-live your favsies moves from the past here, more dancing coming soon.

This is graffiti I totally support

2010-08-07T19:18:00.001-07:00

That is one smart person. I love cheese. All cheeses.
Sing it sister!

Rob Ford. Not a good choice for mayor

2010-08-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

This guy wants to be mayor of Toronto. He can also kiss my ass.

This is the cutest

2010-08-07T18:08:00.000-07:00

Friday Falls: Ouch

2010-08-07T17:57:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Liana!

2010-08-04T18:40:00.001-07:00

We have been quite busy with life, work and whoring (obvs.) We got some bday top tens to catch up on.

Happy Birthday to my friend Liana. Here is why I enjoy your company:

1) You call her at midnight and say let's have a drink, she'll say, "Okay if I sleep over we can stay til last call." Amazeballs!
2) She will come to any bar I drag her too.
3) She is a fan of the TTC's late night vomit comet, which I also find to be a suitable mode of transport.
4) She laughs at my inappropriate jokes.
5) Canckle
6) It's fun to call her Bonana
7) She sometimes brings Nicole out. And Nicole never "wants to go home."
8) She likes beer. I love beer.
9) She likes cheap restaurants, that means more money for beer.
10) Canckle

Happy Belated!

Friday Falls: Snooki goes down like the midget beached whale she is

2010-07-31T19:11:00.000-07:00

Snooki, from MTV's Jersey Shore goes down.

She was later arrested for drunk and disorderly. Snooki is not a person I feel strongly about.

Music to my ears: 80 Kidz Feat. Lovefoxxx

2010-07-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

The leader singer of my favourite band, CSS, Lovefoxxx is featured on Japanese Band 80 Kidz new single Spoiled Boy. Great song.

"Spoiled Boy" 80kidz feat. Lovefoxxx from Who-Fu on Vimeo.

What a super fun summer

2010-07-19T22:28:00.001-07:00

Here is my top 10 in no apparent order of summer fun.

1) Sunday Night Club with my boys, Derrick, David and Mark
2) Clearing the floor at Crews with Mark Anthony at Crews and get claps for the choreography.
3) Swimming outdoors and those who provide it.
4) Ashleigh and Michelle's Bday Parties.
5) Skipping hand in hand with Angie and Joy Bird.
6) My week off with Belle.
7) Busting a move with Sonja at the Poser party while a good friend watched from the side.
8) Slip and slide
9) Park time with the girls and David.
10) Ice cream and gelatto and long walks.
11) The new albums from Kylie and Scissor Sisters.

(I went 1 over)
Still to come Vegas, Dollywood and even more swimming.

This is good: Banana Split Blizzard

2010-07-19T22:23:00.000-07:00

Who knew DQ had a Banana Split Blizzard, I usually get the original Banana Split but prefer the blizzard treat with it all mixed together. My first bite I was so overwhelmed I didn't know whether I was going to vomit, urinate or pass out. Luckily none of those happened but it was pure bliss. Mmmm Yummy!

Music to my ears: Kid Cudi

2010-07-19T22:20:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Angie for showing me the genius of Kid Cudi.

Cuddles

2010-07-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

Mya Pussy has been all over me this summer, I think because I have been working at least 9 - 10 hour days for the last few weeks and also I leave the apartment when it's hot for swimming.

Usually in the summer it's too hot to cuddle, which I am okay with but I think my lack of availability has made embrace summer cuddles. There is a cute photo of us above. Although I do need a haircut.

A few months ago, a female friend suggested Mya and I submit to this website called Boys + Cats. It looked legit and I am sure that it is.

What I didn't know about Tumblr blogs, the competitor of easy to do blogs to Blogger, who I use, is that people can re-blog your stuff.
So I was a bit shocked when I saw that this cute photo of my cat kissing my forehead ended up on this blog. Tumblr leaves a link under the photo on the original site, that being boys + cats.
Not impressed. So don't post you and your cat on boys + cats because you can end up everywhere. Lesson learned. This photo has since been taken down from said website.

I am not going to even tell you what UNFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!! means. But she just invited me to her cottage in a couple weeks so I am over it.

Only me, I tell you, only me. It's important to not take laugh to seriously and laugh often and that I do.

Hurry up and go

2010-07-19T21:17:00.000-07:00

So Monica, my work girlfriend is leaving work. I wrote that post the night before she was going to resign to try to make her change her mind but she sure is one stubborn bitch. Always putting her career over my needs.

So naturally come Monday when Monica is done I am going to treat this relationship much like my romantic relationships when they end, I am going to turn into a big work girlfriend whore and slut it up work girlfriend styles with any and every girl I see in the halls.

We will go for walks at lunch, they will pick out clothes for me to buy, they will come into the production office to look at themselves in my mirror. They will go to the local drug store with me to get kleenex while they will take deodorant off the shelf, apply to their own pits and then put back on the shelf.
Most importantly they will dance inappropriately with me at parties with real dancers who are probably just as disgusted at the grinding as they are at our form.

Just because

2010-07-12T23:13:00.000-07:00

I am a sappy tall guy and I love my work girlfriend, Monica. Here we are at the Thompson Hotel's first party on the rooftop, even before their opening party they had the Upfront party. It was fun.

Things I like about my work girlfriend:
1) She is amazing.
2) She makes me laugh uncontrollably
3) She likes it rough and often rough houses with me in the work halls. She throws me in to walls.
4) She reminds me that we get in trouble when we laugh walking through HR.
5) She is fun to get in verbal disagreements with. Growl!
6) She likes to go for gossip walks.
7) She comes to visit me in my office because I have a mirror.
8) She often needs me to carry her out of open bar parties, thus lowering my drinking. My mom would like that. Such a gentleman.
9) We are half and half of the work socialite combo.
10) She is fun to have lunch with in the common's area.
11) She has introduced me to Anne and Amy, my fav ladies whose names start with "A" this month.
12) We both stalk the neighbourhood non work celebrities.
13) Any relationship issue I ask her for advise on she replies, "F-Them, they are a loser."
14) We like to say "Make it rain"
15) It's been nice to have someone equally hard working but also equally full of energy.
16) She approves clothes for me to buy on lunch. It's nice because I don't give 2 shits about clothes.
17) She tells me when I smell of alcohol after a party night.
18) After being in a department which embraced my not only good looks but also quirks, My hot female Doppler ganger came around and is the ying to my yang.
17) She always comes to my bdays.

That's all, We will talk more about this tomorrow.

Smell ya!

Viewer Mail Response

2010-07-12T22:37:00.001-07:00

Hi Will,

You asked if strangers actually recognize me on the streets. It's happened twice that strangers have asked me if I was the guy from Marky Craig Blog.

If you see me in a bar again you probably should introduce yourself. I love new blog friends. I also also like it when they buy me Rickard's White. :)

The last girl bought me a shot.

I often fall: Broken glasses

2010-07-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

Early Friday evening I was dancing on my own, fitting to Robyn's "Dancing on my own" when I had a little trip, trip over my own fit, I fell face first into a piece of office furniture and busted my glasses. I, for some reason have never put my hands out when I fall. I remember once growing up my dad actually sat me down and was all "Why, don't you put your hands when you fall? I don't get it. You can't keep hitting your head!"
Well dad as the last 29 years have showed, yes, I can and yes, I am very good at it.

Here are the ladies at the glasses shop checking out the damage and about to tell me I am screwed.

I tried to crack the one sitting down but she was having none of it. I was the one in good spirits even after a fall and glasses break. So then I took photos of them when they least expected it. Ba ha ha.

But thanks to insurance I have new frames for only a $15 co-pay!

Yays!

Friday Falls: Pole Dancer Down

2010-07-12T21:57:00.000-07:00

I sometimes practice actually doesn't make perfect.

Here is another one since it's been a while.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Cheers Queers!

2010-07-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Pride Toronto. I hope you had an amazing time.

I had fun going to a lesbian party with my besties on Friday and was complimented all night long. Compliments such as:

"Wow, are you a model?"
"I know you. You are the Marky Craig Blog guy." Ba Ha ha!
"We heard you are the sweetest guy ever. We just wanted to say hi."
"Can you do me a favour? Can you laugh?"

Thanks lesbians for the ego fluff. Also thank you to my core lesbians for bringing over your power tools and building me shit.

Also thanks to Sunday Night Club for partying throughout the week!

Friday Falls: Diving board

2010-07-05T23:12:00.000-07:00

I will swimming all night for free tomorrow at Bathurst and Dundas as heart alerts in Toronto mean free swimming until 11pm.

Best photo ever

2010-06-30T18:17:00.000-07:00

I look like a 4 year old boy who is about to piss his pants. But it is pretty hilarious. Ba ha ha! I seem to have corrected the problem a little later.

He's Back: Amazing Old Spice Guy

2010-06-30T18:13:00.001-07:00

Me and this dude just have way too much in common.

New shoes, whoo hoo

2010-06-30T18:08:00.000-07:00

Thanks my bestie, Belle for spotting out these new kicks. It's nice when your friends look for new clothing for you.

Here they are under the black light tables of Blowfish sushi restaurant at King and Bathurst.

Music to my ears: Kylie

2010-06-29T23:37:00.000-07:00

Kylie's new CD is out and this has been on repeat all day. I love this song. I love power dance music encouraging you ditch that bitch. Self respect is amazing.

G20 - Glad it's over

2010-06-29T22:46:00.000-07:00

Can I just say, I hated everything G20 related this weekend. For weeks I wondered why Toronto even wanted this to happen. A fence was put up over an area in Downtown. Scary riot police were walking around my work. Loser violent anarchists were destroying my downtown.

Here is a story about me getting yelled at by a scary riot police:So I was walking down Dundas on Saturday near University when a Budget cube van blocked the intersection. Then 50 minivans were in a row driving super fast behind it. A fat, gross, riot cop jumped out and said, "Nobody, F*cking move!" So I didn't. I litterally thought I was going to get beaten by one of those sticks. I have always been afraid of cops, despite my love of following rules. Authourity has always made me nervous. The guy beside me on the corner yelled "You're pathetic." Having been scared about a stick beating already I moved away from this guy at the intersection since he was yelling. I got caught by the cop and he yelled again "I said Don't F*cking move!"
Then the fatty hopped back into the mini-van like he was diving out of the way of a bomb in a zone and he's fat legs were still hanging out of the mini-van. They drove off. I wiped the shit out of my undies and continued on my weekend walk cut short by the 3 P's I hated this weekend, Protesters, Politicians and Police (in riot gear.)
Nothing like being treated like a prisoner in your own city in a non G20 related area. I hated it all. Also, myself, yelling guy and 5 grandmas should never be told by anyone not to "F-ing" move. We were all harmless, yelling guy could have been crazy but still the majority just wanted to cross the street.
Here are some pics I snapped on my walk before I got scared. This was hours after the actual breakage:
Spray painted Police car.

Smashed Yonge Street Urban Outfitters.
Smashed Starbucks.

Not impressed.

Here are my 2 fav videos posted from the weekeknd.

This was me but replace shopping with walking. Who gave you the right?

G20 and Stephen Harper can suck my right one.

Amaze

2010-06-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

My number one Kylie Minogue joined my 8th favourite, Scissor Sisters, on stage in the UK at Glastonbury a few days ago. Amazing. Both have brand new CDs out today.

Yay! Summer soundtracks!

Nose bleeds

2010-06-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

So I have had 7 nose bleeds over the last month. This confuses me because nose bleeds aren't crazy common to me. Last nights bleed was a big one, both nostrils and clots through my mouth (I'm pretty sure that last statement will make me single for another year.) Ba ha ha.

I called Telehealth (Love them, have them on speed dial) and they recommended me get to a hospital because I was feeling tipsy and dizzy. But still in typical Marky fashion I made drink plans with a new friend on my way to the hospital not letting them know that I lost a lot of blood.

At the hospital, they constricted my nasal blood vessels, froze my nose (ouchie) and then burned close my bleeding blood vessels. All has been good today. No bleeds! Yay! Although it's kind of gross as I can't clean my gross nostrils until tomorrow am. Bear with me peps.

I go to the doctor next week to confirm it's from dryness.

See above, even with shit up my nose after a 3 hour wait. Still in great spirits. That's the Marky way. Thanks Telehealth and Toronto Western Emergency.

Best line of the week: release the beasts, I mean breasts

2010-06-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

How do you get your one of your besties, Mikey B, from Australia deported. You jay walk with him in front of men in uniform you shouldn't. We got stopped. My first time ever. We only got warnings.

The next day my work girl friend Monica and I were walking down Queen when she wanted to Jay walk. I say no. She said "Let's just do it." She is a pretty girl was going out that night so she was dressed up. I said no. Then she said "Just tell the cops, the girl with no bra made you do it."

Ba ha ha.

That is the secret to jay walking. Have a lady with no bra on your arm.

Legal note: The photo above is not Monica. Just some other lady letting em loose.

This is funny: Gay Marriage

2010-06-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

Let the gays be unhappy just like you are in your hetero relationships

Devin & Glenn - watch more funny videos

The day the wasp stung me twice on the subway

2010-06-15T20:10:00.002-07:00

The subway in Toronto is always filled with crazy people and crackheads which scare the other passengers. Last week I became one of them. Let's discuss.

So here I am tall, awkward, probably hung over, Marky on the subway going to work. I notice 2 wasps on the subway. "Wasps on the subway????!!!" I think to myself. That's weird. I better keep an eye on them.

Then I lost them. Something else had caught my eye, (if you know what I am saying) then I noticed that the air conditioning seemed to be stronger as I often stand under the doors, never touching anything with hands of course.

Then I felt something hit my hair....I slapped it probably very girlie. I was wearing a shirt that allowed for some breathing room around the neck. All of a sudden I discover as I yell that I have a wasp down my shirt. I got stung once. Then I started spinning and yelling in between the doors on either side of the train. trying to get the wasp out of my shirt. Most people ignored me on the subway. Of course thinking I was a crack head.

I got stung again. I yelled again, at this point my shirt was so pulled up trying to release the little f*cker that more skin of mine that should ever be shown on the TTC was exposed. I found the wasp in my shirt. Squished it (although you hurt me, sorry little buddy.) Threw it on the ground and step on it.

That was the day the subway thought I was on crack. My back hurt for 2 days.

Coming in August...

2010-06-15T20:10:00.001-07:00

This show looks amazing.

Happy Birthday Michelle

2010-06-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite people celebrated a birthday this past Saturday. Happy Birthday Michelle. Here are some of the reasons you are so God damn lovable:

1) You always answer pay attention and answer all my True Blood questions.
2) You have taught me the importance of not drunk texting.
3) You are my go to for relationship advice.
4) You sing karaoke with me because you are good and I am not.
5) You keep a watchful eye on me. My parents appreciate that.
6) You invite me to your work for drinks sometimes.
7) You come over for microwave popcorn.
8) We both love occasional ice cream treats.
9) When I miss a pivotal Belle moment, you always fill me in. It's totally legit, you're a good peer.
10) You make really good tacos.
11) You make my favourite little Birdie go "tweet, tweet."
12) You provide furniture for my favourite little cat.
13) You always pay me back promptly when I front the costs of tickets, etc. That's friends.
14) You love a game of celebrities as much as I do.
15) You often make me laugh for hours.
16) You're parents and entire family for that matter are the cat's pajama's. I see where you get it.
17) You help me organize and de-clutter, although it doesn't last long, it's the thought that counts.
18) You are learning how to play Dolly Parton's Jolene.
19) You hair is looking so darn cute.
20) If this was jeopardy it would be an video clue, birthday growl:

Here we are!

2010-06-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends,

Good Ol' Mya Pussy and I took some much needed R&R.

Unky Mark became an Uncle for the 4th time. Welcome cute William, we share a middle name. That's fun. We are both the third boys in our families so it's fitting.
Isn't he adorable and don't I make a dashing uncle. I love kids!

And my beloved sister Katie and partner in beers in Brantford came back home after 18 months in Australia. Yay! Welcome to the world baby Will and welome back Katie. Love all around! xo

Daddy is that you?

2010-06-01T22:24:00.002-07:00

I feel this old guy's pain.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

I don't like it either.

Hot Hot Hot! Full Kylie Video

2010-05-31T23:44:00.000-07:00

Yum, yum, yum!

No neck turning, arm reaching and bending over, oh my!

2010-05-29T17:06:00.000-07:00

My trapezius muscle and I have not been on speaking terms for the last 2 weeks. It culminated in me not being able to turn my neck for the last 3 days. Also I wasn't able to raise my arm and also I was having spasms in my neck. If this is the beginning of a life of back issues my back go and take a hike because I am not having any of it.

I am now on anti-inflammatories and can actually turn my neck to both sides. Yay!! I think bad posture during late work shifts was the culprit.
I also got X-rays taken today because I could have some underlining back issues. They made me wait in the small change room for 10 minutes while they checked the film. I wasn't allowed to get changed so I took photos of myself in my gown.
I can finally turn my neck both directions.

See you on the dance floor soon bitches!

Friday Falls: Slip and Slide

2010-05-29T16:53:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday! I know it's Saturday but my mobility is not what it used to be. (Read Above)

Best line(s) of the week: Bikes and Laughs

2010-05-29T16:48:00.000-07:00

2 good ones this week:

1) My best friends Belle and Michelle bike browsing with me last weekend when Belle suggested a tall bike that had a girlie wallet type accessory under the seat. "That's girlie!" I declared. To which Belle said "Marky you are basically wearing spandex and a purse." Ba ha ha. I was wearing skinny jeans and my work bag. Got me Belle.

2) My friend Tom from the States who I haven't seen in 4 years. "Can we all just cheers to Marky's laugh since I haven't heard it in 4 years." Amazing!

It's summer time...almost

2010-05-25T22:47:00.000-07:00

The weather is summer-like and that only means one thing in Toronto, the crazies and crack heads come out in full force. I spent the Monday holiday in Trinity-Bellwoods taking in the sun with my new park loving friend David. We were sitting on the grass when I weird old dude came up to me. This people love me. They seem to be magnetically drawn to me. Maybe it's because I am tall and like to wear bright colours.

So this old weird dude walked up to me and asked if I were Jewish because he said sins that needed to be forgiven. Creepy. I said no. Then he asked for money to get up to Bathurst and Lawwence. I declined. The whole time he was talking to me cookie crumbs were cascading out of his mouth all over me. I didn't take that very well but I also didn't want to run away squealing like a girl infront of a new friend. I am a bit of a character and I need to slowly bring out my many quirks. I took the cookie crumbs like a bitch all over my shirt. Yucky.

Old weird dude did want to shake my hand. It's hard for me to even have bodily contact with people I really like so I was having none of the hand shake. His hand was out, the cookies were flying. I hated it.

Then he went on to go harass others. This is my first run in with a crazy person this spring. There unfortunately will be many more. :-(

Hot! Hot! Hot!

2010-05-25T20:05:00.000-07:00

Kylie's new video for her song, All The Lovers, is gonna be hot. Hot people, making out and rolling around in the streets. Hot. This is not something I would do because road's are dirty. But, hey, a boy can dream.

I do not get the Charles reference

Thank you Will Munro

2010-05-24T23:34:00.000-07:00

I didn't know him personally but I always knew who he is was and was thankful for what he did. Will Munro died Friday at the age of 35 of brain cancer. He is the owner of one of my favourite bars and also created a community in my west end hood in Toronto for artists, gays and their friends, my favourite people to go out with. Thank you Will for breaking down walls and stereotypes. To all of Will's friends and family my deepest condolences. To Will I say thank you. Thank for all that you have done to make the west end the amazing place I love.

To learn more about this incredible man check out this link.

Playing this on repeat

2010-05-24T23:28:00.000-07:00

I am the king of playing songs on repeat. Here is my current fav.

BTWs here is my current iTunes top 25:

This was not a good weekend for my personal property

2010-05-24T23:02:00.000-07:00

It's a really good thing my friends make me ridiculously happy. Because this weekend saw me burn 2 holes in my favourite windbreaker. So annoying. Who would think that standing against a wall outside a bar talking to friends would leave you with 2 burn marks in your favourite windbreaker. The kicker was that beside the bar was a hippie incense store and they had burning incense sticking out of their brick wall exterior. We hate the Trading Company at Queen east of Bathurst.

Also I left my bike over night at my friend Isobelle's house Saturday and some loser(s) stole my nights, bell and smashed all my reflectors. I didn't ride my bike because I was going to be drinking and in return I get I all my safety features vandalized. Vandalizers are assholes.

Friday Falls: Table face

2010-05-24T21:25:00.000-07:00

Here I am! I took a little time off to re-connect with my besties as I worked crazy hours this week.

This is good: 1664 Blanc

2010-05-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

Kronenburg is out with a white beer (my favourite kind of beer.) I had a 1664 Blanc pint on the roof of the Adelaide Street Pub. Yummy! This is the fruitiest tasting of all white beers I have ever had.

Most are made with orange peel and coriander.

Mmmm. Yummy! Beer.

I love pussy! pussy! pusy!

2010-05-17T23:08:00.000-07:00

Cute! Cute! Cute! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy!

My sister is quarantined with a virus in Australia...

2010-05-17T22:28:00.000-07:00

Her face swelled up hardcore. She came on facebook chat tonight from the hospital and I talked for most of the conversation about my nose bleed I got in the grocery store. She was generally concerned. She is a sweet heart.

Although I did not have the best day. I worked until 11pm, I spilled burrito juice all over my crotch and then all I wanted was food and then my nose starting gushing blood all over my coat in line at the grocery store. I felt like a crack head. I attribute it to a dry house and work place. Awww. I love that coat.
I have been chilling with kleenex shoved up my nose for the last hour. Get well soon kido!

Music to my ears: New Kylie

2010-05-14T19:32:00.000-07:00

Yummy Yummy Yummy!

Kylie's new single "All the Lovers" from her upcoming album, Aphrodite. Also Kylie is currently writing a musical based on her songs. I think I just wet my pants.

Friday Falls: Stage Fall

2010-05-14T19:30:00.001-07:00

Happy Weekend Everyone!

I do not like this

2010-05-13T23:19:00.000-07:00

This video is making it's way around the world. Some dirty old DJ man fondles the breasts of what I believe to be his girlfriend. I feel bad for her. If he does it in public who knows what he is doing to her in private.

This bitch needs Oprah to set her straight, get some self esteem and ditch the epitome of douche bag.

Save her Oprah please!

Nephew speed alphabet

2010-05-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

I got to see the 2 apples of my eye yesterday, my nephews, who I haven't seen since Christmas. Way too hard. Ian and spent the drive home studying Beyonce's dance moves for his favourite song, Single Ladies.

Ben spent the day showing off mad alphabet stylings:

Happy Birthday Laura

2010-05-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

Today, my sister Laura turns 82, umm, I mean 26.

Here is some reasons why I love her:

1) She owns a car. I need rides.
2) She calls and tells me stories I think would be funny. I love stories.
3) She takes ice cream very seriously.
4) Although I don't like to hear it she often calls me out when I need to be called out.
5) 2 words: Rom Coms!
6) She can listen to me talk about myself at length for hours.
7) Her budgeting habits should be applauded. For a young cookie she is years ahead of me.
8) She makes my sister in law Marcia very happy, we like it when Marica is happy.
9) She is pretty nice, she helps out places that have bad things happen.
10) She likes the wine! I like it a lot more but she does like the odd glass. Then I finish the bottle.

Happy Birthday Baura!
xoxo

Tacos El ASSador

2010-05-09T18:54:00.000-07:00

Friday night's dinner at my favourite neighbourhood authentic taco shack was blurred by this being in face.Ladies, this is so not hot. Wear a belt bitches!

Friday Falls: Ow my nards

2010-05-09T18:53:00.000-07:00

Music to my ears: New Kelly Rowland

2010-05-06T21:29:00.000-07:00

HOT TRACK! HOT TRACK! HOT TRACK! Thanks Derrick for the heads up!

Best line of the week: Mikey B, SJP

2010-05-06T20:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight my bbff (Boy Best Friend Forever,) Mikey B asked if I wanted to go see Sex and the City 2 at midnight the day it opens.

To which I replied, "I haven't seen an episode or the first movie."

Mikey B replied....wait for it....."My jaw just dropped to the floor in Australia."

Ba Ha Ha. Amazing. I am going to use that one.

And p.s. Mikey B never comes out with me past midnight on a work night.

The beautiful, fabulous Flay gets some blog love too in the photo. Yay! Flay!

Um, Hi

2010-05-06T20:17:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I had what the doctor's believed was strep throat. But I am feeling a lot better now. Good drugs.

Here are some key learnings I learned during my brief bout with un-optimum health:

1) Being single and living alone can get boring. That's why I try to plan an outing almost every night (even if it's just the gym or tv night.) It's really boring when you are home for 60 hours straight.

2) Although boring and having nothing else to do Mya Pussy and I had some good sleep marathons and cuddles. I now have a sore back and neck from all that lying down.

3) Strep can make you feel out of it. I gave my landlord the wrong keys for the electrician at first. That was silly Mark.

4) Dance music is not as fun when you can't dance.

5) I bought Boost to help me get my nutrients, I ate lots of vegetable soups and breads. It gagged it up every time. It's gross. No wonder some poor old people eat cat food, that meal replacement crap is shit. I lost some pounds.

6) I miss going to work. I really like my co-workers. Especially Monica, Barb and my grumpy office-mate Nick, I bet he has missed me coming into the office while he is in conversation with someone else and then busting in and asking what they are talking about. He starts to explain and if I think it's boring I just turn around and walk away. Ba ha ha!

7) I have not been to a bar or had at least a single drink in 5 days. That's a record!

8) If you spend the night sweating through all the bedding and blankets you own your room is gonna smell bad. As I told my friend Derrick, it smelled like the inside of a hockey bag. That was not a fun laundry day.

9) Maybe I loosen a little my germophobe regime. As my boss suggested I should start liking the subway poles. I once saw a baby do this and almost barfed.

10) ICE CREAM FIXES EVERYYHING!!!!!!!!!! Mmmm! YUUUUMMMMYYYY!!!!!!

Eww: Yuck

2010-05-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

I carry shopping bags on my arms. I have long gangley gorilla arms so carrying bags in my hands hurts my shoulders and upper back because of the pulling it does. so I carry bags on my forearms bent. It's better for the back.

Today for the first time, I caused some damage. Oopsies! Bruises are not hot.

Friday Falls: Fat dad goes down

2010-05-01T20:03:00.000-07:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Ba Ha Ha!

Music to my ears: New Scissor Sisters

2010-04-28T22:38:00.000-07:00

I love these dudes and the first track off their album coming at the end of June is amazing. I've been waiting 3 years and checking their website every week for the last year for new album details.

Kylie, Sharon Jones, LCD Soundsystem, Band of Horses, Black Keys, Christina, Sia, Stars, MIA, Justice.

This is going to be a good music summer. Shake your hips bitches!

Spin. spin, sugar

2010-04-28T22:03:00.001-07:00

This week I have done my first ever 2 spinning classes at the gym. It's been tough but I have kept up with the instructors. I am done with the ellipticals. Spinner is such a better workout. It's hard, but summer is coming and hard work pays off when you are in a bathing suit. I have already biked 45KM this week in 2- 1 hour classes. My legs feel amazing.

Although since I wore skinny jeans last Friday to work and was told by some female co-workers that they were jealous that I didn't have hips and that they wished their legs looked like mine in skinnys, I am hoping it helps with muscle building. That is because apparently I have the best feminine legs in the office.

All I can do is laugh. Which I do well.

Winter Retrospective

2010-04-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

My amazing friend Angie made this video of winter fun. Sochi 2014, I think I will be representing Canada in the Mens single's shoe figure skating competition.

Winter from Angie Bird on Vimeo.

I also love when Reggie's ball rolls down the hill, Me giving Dolly some lovin' and as always when Angie dances in her marching band uniform.

We love that gal!

I love this song

2010-04-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

I found a bunch of new Dolly Parton songs on an old CD I got. I love the song "2 Doors Down." Dolly is ready to party. Unfortunately, she playing to a bunch of crack heads. This audience is whacked.

True Blood Mini-sode 1

2010-04-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

HBO is releasing 6 mini-sodes to tide blood thirsty fans over. Here is the first one starring one of my favourites, Eric.

Happy Birthday Isobelle

2010-04-26T23:03:00.000-07:00

How do you come up with 10+ reasons why your most favourite person for the last 10 years is awesome? You don't. But you can scrap the surface for birthday times sake.

Here is why Belle makes me melt:

1) She has seen me grow from little boy to a man and has long seen and encouraged me to be the man she knew I could be.
2) She is extremely protective of me. Even if it meant threatening to walk around the Dovercourt and College area with a stick to stick in a douchebag's spokes, she was there for me.
3) Me and her can laugh for hours about nothing.
4) She brought Michelle, Melvin and Angie into my life and I love her for it. Such loving, amazing people.
5) Next to the Flay, she is the most excitable person I know and it is so cute it makes me melt.
6) She not only knows me as her sidekick, but also as raw denim jeans which she always talks about.
7) She gave me my beloved Mya Pussy.
8) Just looking at her from across a room warms my heart and can make me laugh for hours.
9) Best drinkin' buddy ever.
10) She is just plain old entertaining.
11) She challenges me to not be so shy and timid.
12) She falls a lot, not as much as me, but still funny.
14) She loves Taco. (Go figure. I do too.)
15) She unlike me is a conversationalist. I am not. Belle can work a room like nobody's business.
16) We love the same music.

That is just scrapping the bottom. Like I said. There is no way to rank someone who has been the most important person in your life for the last 10 years. I love her to death. She knows it. xoxox

Free Mustache Rides

2010-04-26T22:56:00.000-07:00

My bestie Isobelle celebrated her 31st with mustaches galore. Mustache rides were free and fabulous. I took the pic. That is why I am not in it.

This is good: Ice Cream Heaven

2010-04-26T22:31:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Canada Cold Stone Creamery. How you make me cream my pants. Similar to the Marble Slab, they take hard ice cream and mash in toppings and sauces to make your ice cream amazing.

What I didn't like is how they make the workers sing when new ice cream is made. Just like Licks I feel if you are paying someone minimum wage don't make them sing. Also they say there sizes are Like it, Love it, Gotta have it and then in small print it says for the cool impaired, small, medium and large. Lame

What you see above is something called Cookie Dough You Didn't. It has sweet cream ice cream, cookie dough, chocolate chips and fudge and caramel. Yum Yum!

Eww: Vomit entrance

2010-04-24T16:22:00.000-07:00

Today was filled with a lot of screaming and jumping.

Last night some drunk loser puked all over the entrance way to my low rise. Knowing how things get cleaned up here. It will be there all summer. Eww, Check it out for yourself:It's time to get a move on, I'd say.

Friday Falls: Diving Board Loser

2010-04-24T16:12:00.000-07:00

I love diving boards, just about as much as I like pineapple.

and I thought this was pretty funny too. Mya Pussy does dumb shit like this as well.

I'm dying! I'm dying!

2010-04-20T15:58:00.000-07:00

Yay! It's not summer without Kylie! Check out that beat!

Music to my ears: New Kate Nash

2010-04-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

I love young British singer Kate Nash, Her 2nd disc, "My Best Friend Is You" is out Tuesday April 19. Yay!

Less than 3 months away

2010-04-19T21:23:00.000-07:00

True Blood is coming back! Yay!

Season 3 In Production: Jason

Happy Birthday Derrick

2010-04-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday one of my newest friends, Derrick turned the big 3-0. I told him that because he is a new friend so he only gets a top 4. He is cool with this because he likes things concise.

Here is why I think Derrick is rad:

1) He is really good at Karaoke, I'm jealous of his talent. I can't sing worth shit.
2) He is pretty clever. Although, most conversations make me run to google.
3) He is a huge Glee fan. I am too!
4) I think I have finally met my match in the sassy department I am learning that I can dish it but not take it very well.

Happy Bday Buddy!