Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Best photo ever


I look like a 4 year old boy who is about to piss his pants. But it is pretty hilarious. Ba ha ha! I seem to have corrected the problem a little later.

He's Back: Amazing Old Spice Guy

Me and this dude just have way too much in common.

New shoes, whoo hoo

Thanks my bestie, Belle for spotting out these new kicks. It's nice when your friends look for new clothing for you.

Here they are under the black light tables of Blowfish sushi restaurant at King and Bathurst.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Music to my ears: Kylie

Kylie's new CD is out and this has been on repeat all day. I love this song. I love power dance music encouraging you ditch that bitch. Self respect is amazing.

G20 - Glad it's over


Can I just say, I hated everything G20 related this weekend. For weeks I wondered why Toronto even wanted this to happen. A fence was put up over an area in Downtown. Scary riot police were walking around my work. Loser violent anarchists were destroying my downtown.

Here is a story about me getting yelled at by a scary riot police:So I was walking down Dundas on Saturday near University when a Budget cube van blocked the intersection. Then 50 minivans were in a row driving super fast behind it. A fat, gross, riot cop jumped out and said, "Nobody, F*cking move!" So I didn't. I litterally thought I was going to get beaten by one of those sticks. I have always been afraid of cops, despite my love of following rules. Authourity has always made me nervous. The guy beside me on the corner yelled "You're pathetic." Having been scared about a stick beating already I moved away from this guy at the intersection since he was yelling. I got caught by the cop and he yelled again "I said Don't F*cking move!"
Then the fatty hopped back into the mini-van like he was diving out of the way of a bomb in a zone and he's fat legs were still hanging out of the mini-van. They drove off. I wiped the shit out of my undies and continued on my weekend walk cut short by the 3 P's I hated this weekend, Protesters, Politicians and Police (in riot gear.)
Nothing like being treated like a prisoner in your own city in a non G20 related area. I hated it all. Also, myself, yelling guy and 5 grandmas should never be told by anyone not to "F-ing" move. We were all harmless, yelling guy could have been crazy but still the majority just wanted to cross the street.
Here are some pics I snapped on my walk before I got scared. This was hours after the actual breakage:
Spray painted Police car.


Smashed Yonge Street Urban Outfitters.
Smashed Starbucks.

Not impressed.

Here are my 2 fav videos posted from the weekeknd.



This was me but replace shopping with walking. Who gave you the right?



G20 and Stephen Harper can suck my right one.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Amaze

My number one Kylie Minogue joined my 8th favourite, Scissor Sisters, on stage in the UK at Glastonbury a few days ago. Amazing. Both have brand new CDs out today.



Yay! Summer soundtracks!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Nose bleeds


So I have had 7 nose bleeds over the last month. This confuses me because nose bleeds aren't crazy common to me. Last nights bleed was a big one, both nostrils and clots through my mouth (I'm pretty sure that last statement will make me single for another year.) Ba ha ha.

I called Telehealth (Love them, have them on speed dial) and they recommended me get to a hospital because I was feeling tipsy and dizzy. But still in typical Marky fashion I made drink plans with a new friend on my way to the hospital not letting them know that I lost a lot of blood.

At the hospital, they constricted my nasal blood vessels, froze my nose (ouchie) and then burned close my bleeding blood vessels. All has been good today. No bleeds! Yay! Although it's kind of gross as I can't clean my gross nostrils until tomorrow am. Bear with me peps.

I go to the doctor next week to confirm it's from dryness.

See above, even with shit up my nose after a 3 hour wait. Still in great spirits. That's the Marky way. Thanks Telehealth and Toronto Western Emergency.

Best line of the week: release the beasts, I mean breasts


How do you get your one of your besties, Mikey B, from Australia deported. You jay walk with him in front of men in uniform you shouldn't. We got stopped. My first time ever. We only got warnings.

The next day my work girl friend Monica and I were walking down Queen when she wanted to Jay walk. I say no. She said "Let's just do it." She is a pretty girl was going out that night so she was dressed up. I said no. Then she said "Just tell the cops, the girl with no bra made you do it."

Ba ha ha.

That is the secret to jay walking. Have a lady with no bra on your arm.

Legal note: The photo above is not Monica. Just some other lady letting em loose.

This is funny: Gay Marriage

Let the gays be unhappy just like you are in your hetero relationships

The day the wasp stung me twice on the subway


The subway in Toronto is always filled with crazy people and crackheads which scare the other passengers. Last week I became one of them. Let's discuss.

So here I am tall, awkward, probably hung over, Marky on the subway going to work. I notice 2 wasps on the subway. "Wasps on the subway????!!!" I think to myself. That's weird. I better keep an eye on them.

Then I lost them. Something else had caught my eye, (if you know what I am saying) then I noticed that the air conditioning seemed to be stronger as I often stand under the doors, never touching anything with hands of course.

Then I felt something hit my hair....I slapped it probably very girlie. I was wearing a shirt that allowed for some breathing room around the neck. All of a sudden I discover as I yell that I have a wasp down my shirt. I got stung once. Then I started spinning and yelling in between the doors on either side of the train. trying to get the wasp out of my shirt. Most people ignored me on the subway. Of course thinking I was a crack head.

I got stung again. I yelled again, at this point my shirt was so pulled up trying to release the little f*cker that more skin of mine that should ever be shown on the TTC was exposed. I found the wasp in my shirt. Squished it (although you hurt me, sorry little buddy.) Threw it on the ground and step on it.

That was the day the subway thought I was on crack. My back hurt for 2 days.

Coming in August...

This show looks amazing.

Happy Birthday Michelle


One of my favourite people celebrated a birthday this past Saturday. Happy Birthday Michelle. Here are some of the reasons you are so God damn lovable:

1) You always answer pay attention and answer all my True Blood questions.
2) You have taught me the importance of not drunk texting.
3) You are my go to for relationship advice.
4) You sing karaoke with me because you are good and I am not.
5) You keep a watchful eye on me. My parents appreciate that.
6) You invite me to your work for drinks sometimes.
7) You come over for microwave popcorn.
8) We both love occasional ice cream treats.
9) When I miss a pivotal Belle moment, you always fill me in. It's totally legit, you're a good peer.
10) You make really good tacos.
11) You make my favourite little Birdie go "tweet, tweet."
12) You provide furniture for my favourite little cat.
13) You always pay me back promptly when I front the costs of tickets, etc. That's friends.
14) You love a game of celebrities as much as I do.
15) You often make me laugh for hours.
16) You're parents and entire family for that matter are the cat's pajama's. I see where you get it.
17) You help me organize and de-clutter, although it doesn't last long, it's the thought that counts.
18) You are learning how to play Dolly Parton's Jolene.
19) You hair is looking so darn cute.
20) If this was jeopardy it would be an video clue, birthday growl:

Here we are!

Hi Friends,

Good Ol' Mya Pussy and I took some much needed R&R.

Unky Mark became an Uncle for the 4th time. Welcome cute William, we share a middle name. That's fun. We are both the third boys in our families so it's fitting.
Isn't he adorable and don't I make a dashing uncle. I love kids!

And my beloved sister Katie and partner in beers in Brantford came back home after 18 months in Australia. Yay! Welcome to the world baby Will and welome back Katie. Love all around! xo

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Daddy is that you?

I feel this old guy's pain.



I don't like it either.