Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Eww: Drunk old man outside my building

This is me. As you can tell I am not impressed.

Last night I was outside my building, it was early-ish. There was a drunk old men stumbling down the sidewalk. The neighbourhood drunks love me. I think it's because I am tall and often colourful. I am easy to see and point out when they are seeing 3 of me.

Last night's guy walked up to me and said "aren't you handsome?" and I replied "Thanks I will congratulate my parents." "Now I am not gay, you just got a nice look and friendly personalty." He said. I replied "Oh, no, you don't seem gay at all. No gay man would wear hiking boots on a city sidewalk when it's 13 degrees out I'm pretty sure. He was all "Well I thank you for saying that." Ba ha ha!

He then asked me what my name was. I told him. Mark. Then he said "Mark what". Then I told him my last name. Something I don't like to do with drunks who know where I live. I was completely sober too. I even told him the Polish long form of my surname which was shorten during WWI (or maybe 2, I am shit at wars which is sad because it's part of my heritage.)

Since he said bye Michael Curtis at the end of our conversation I think I am okay. (Calm down Laura, my sister.)

Anyhow, I don't know what came over me but I was quite a chatty boy. Then spit from a mouth full of black teeth slowly ejected from his lips, slowly flew into the air in my direction and landed upon my bottom lip.

I immediately ended the conversation. Ran upstairs and washed with lips hard with soap, then mouthwash, then toothpaste. This morning they were chapped. A lot.

Here is me happy again with Mya Pussy! Pussy makes everything better. Or how about a little pussy goes a long way. Ba Ha Ha!

No comments: