Sunday, January 31, 2010

Dance move of the week: Cat toy

Mya Pussy and I went to the vet this week. She is apparently one unit over weight. On the cat fat scale which 1 is underweight and 10 is a big fat floppy pussy she is a six. So we got this new toy. It's gonna get her back to 5s. It also makes a good dance prop yo.




video

Generic news story

This is funny. Thanks Nick for sending it.

Fun weekend


This weekend was quite fun indeed. Friday was medium but I got to hang out with some friends. I went to a bar with Mikey B that seems to be getting more violent as time goes on. I got shoved across a crowded dance floor trying to get past 2 guys about to fight. Not cool. I was not the intended pushee. Just wrong place, wrong time. You just have to ignore jocky meatheads.

Then Saturday night was Monica's birthday party. We had the VIP area of a bar. Randoms kept coming into our area and this one dude was trying to give all the girls drinks. I told them all that I think he was date rape drugging the drinks as no one knew who he was. One of the girls actually spit her drink out like a fountain. Then I had a snap show on him like I have never snapped on anyone before. Then I found out he was a co-workers friend. I think I ruined that boys night. He definitely did not pick up that night. Ha Ha Ha!

Then I went to meet my friend Wade at Baby Huey's. I got out of the cab early to see if my friend Jonathon was working, I would have said hi. He wasn't but I ran into a group of hoochies who needed directions to the Ossington. The one hoochie refered to her friends as "Bitches" and was all "Bitches this hot dude is taking us." Since she called her friends bitches I thought I was allowed to as well. So all was all "Bitches, I ain't got time for you to smoke." "Bitches keep up the pace." "Bitches, you've gone to far pay attention." "Bitches have a great night tell them Marky sent you."

Then my friend and favourite DJ Kris played Whitney Houston's Million Dollar Bill for me and I met a new buddy Shawn. He is my height! Considering all my friends all 5 foot tall lesbians who I love. It is nice to have someone I can look in the eye.

Here is the dance mix of Whitney's Million Dollar Bill. Put one hand in the air!

Happy Birthday Monica

Lots of birthdays this time. Monica and I are inseparable in the halls at work. We are often seen laughing in the commissary, gossiping in my edit suite or she is pushing me into walls. Happy Birthday work girlfriend. Here is why I love you.

1) You are my favourite person at work.
2) She will always be the drunkest person in the room. Not me. That's good.
3) We like to drink wine in the park together.
4) We go to concerts together.
5) She is freakin' nuts and I love it.
6) She is the best partner in crime for lunch.
7) She is an amazing dancer.
8) She likes her wings.
9) She makes me laugh. Lots.
10) She likes good music.

Bitch be celebrating tonight. Happy Birthday Monikaka!
xo

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Music to my ears: New Gorillaz

Here is Gorillaz newest track, Sytlo! from the album Plastic Beach in stores March 9. That's one day after my 29th birthday. Happy Birthday to me! Gorillaz to me means sitting on the porch on Borden Street on a summer saturday with Belle and Michelle.

Vagina Hood


Everyone at work says that Eunice's winter coat hood resembles a vagina. Eunice is super nice and cute so I refuse to comment. No one wants to hear that they have genitalia strapped around their head.

My favourite peps

Here is a photo of my ridiculously large immediate family from Christmas at our ridiculously large dining room table. Katie is missing this year :-(

I still have to sit beside my parents because I misbehave during dinner. They keep me in line.

Friday Falls: Ski Slip

I feel this dude's pain:

Friday, January 29, 2010

iPad

Stupid name. You can't blame Steve Jobs he almost died last year. But as this week's came so ended Millions of Mac geeks wet dreams. These people were even making youtube commercials for the product before it was out. A) That is my job. B) There are better things to do than that? C) The Apple Store is a nightmare.

I love Apple products but I don't obsess or salivate over them.

iPad sounds like Maxi Pads. I thought the thought was original but than MadTV has already made fun.

Here I am


Took 2 days off to have some much needed me time and friend time. It was a nice break. I'm waving to all of you in the photo above.

Wednesday Eunice and I took my work girlfriend, Monica out for birthday dinner. Here is Monica and I above the Soho:

Then after dinner I met Joni for a game of Lesbian Bingo. You only need 1 line. I didn't win. But the Bingo caller, who knew Joni met my briefly and then the bar of Lesbians that I was the only man worth sleeping with. That is quite an honour. I may have a few more lesbos in my corner now. I even got to co-host briefly with the mic. That was fun.

Last night I took a friend who needed a night out for my traditional remedy of beer and laughs.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Poor salty

This is sad. But it's true salt is awful for you. I add salt to nothing.



Poor Salty.

Always swallow

Today I was watching a long format video I have been working on when I took a sip of water. Before I could swallow it down I briefly fell asleep for maybe a sec or 2. Not long. I awoke 2 moments later to a mouth full of water pouring out of my mouth all over my clothes like a 6 month old child. Disgusting! (And I wonder why I am perpetually single)

I blame the momentarily nap on being in a comfy chair in a pitch black edit suite all day. That was my second spill of the day.Anyhow I hope that never happens again. Cheers!

Spilled coffee

I spill a lot. I thought I was going through a good period of no spills but today I spilled like I haven't spilled in quite some time. This morning like I do most mornings I went to tell Barb who I call "B" about my night last night. I had a good one. I had a big decaf coffee and I placed it on her table. As I was telling her my night with excitement my long flailing spazzy arm knocked the coffee. It went airborne. I almost got covered in. Thankfully that did not happen.

I did, though, cover the wall, the table, all of B's papers and a large portion of carpet. I felt bad because I really like B. I helped clean up but I was happy it didn't happen in my office space because I hate the smell of old coffee. So that was good.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Happy Birthday Mel


Birthdays out the wazoo these days. I love it.

Today is Melanie's birthday. Here is why Melanie is amazing:

1) Hands down best hug giver ever.
2) Best dancer out of my friends. She is hard to dance with. Her body moves in separate ways independently.
3) In a vegetarian friend world she makes really good ribs.
4) She is amazing for chats and gives amazing advice. Such as "They are not amazing people. Move on" I trust her.
5) Her smile lights up the world. So pretty
6) We call her Melvin. Nicknames are fun.
7) She makes my favourite person ridiculously happy.
8) She is quite the accomplished editor.
9) She didn't have to leave the country. That would have been sad.
10) She is without a doubt one of the most loving people I know.
11) She is a good swimming partner at the Y.
12) I absolutely adore her.
14) (I skipped 13 because I am a psychopathic supersition person.) When she is drunk she talks like Beaker from the Muppet Show and it is so freakin' cute.



Happy Birthday Melvin.
xo

Eww: Penis socks


Tonight at the gym my clean rolled up socks I was about to put on slipped out of my hand and hit an older, larger man right square in the pecker. I laughed inside my head, a lot. Then he picked them up and try to hand them to me. I was having none of it. I apologized for the penis blow then asked if he could kindly place them on the bench. Which he did. He was nice. The penis socks remain there as we speak. Once socks touch genitals that aren't mine they no longer belong to me. Sorry Sockies.

(please note: The above photo looks like it's an actual penis sock. My socks were foot socks that hit a penis but I thought the picture was funny.)

Happy Australia Day

In honour of a country that has raised my favourite non-Canadians, here is one of my favourite scenes from Aussie comedy Summer Heights High



Happy Australia Day Angie, Elle, Mikey B and Cat.

Good on you mate!

Fun day at work

Today I got to see my co-worker, Nick get shot by a T-Shirt cannon in the back. That was fun. I'm sorry I wasn't the shooter. That would have been amazing!

This is cute: Michelle and Mark the dancers

Michelle made this today. It's super cute.

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Dance move of the week: Ball bustin'

So everyone who comes to my place knows I routinely sit on an exercise ball all night. Great for the core. I just pumped it up for the ball first time in about a year. It's amazing. So plump and juicy. I also have all of a sudden become very competitive and I am going to join the Y Basketball league so my ball handling practice is important. Bring it on.

video

Pink and pizza

As I like to do I offered my cable TV services so that Angie who is Pink's biggest fan could watch Pink's Behind the Music special on Much More tonight. We also ordered pizza from Pizza Pizza and they screwed it up so Michelle negotiated that we get it for free. Whata gal!

I am a fan of Pink, Angie is a super fan. Here is one of our favourite Pink songs.



It was fun to have my besties in my place since it's been awhile. I love them and love telling all the important people in my life that they are awesome. I think it's something everyone should do more.

Crazy weekend


Friday night was just medium but it was nice to see friends. When you need some minor ego boosting it's nice to have great friends and an amazing sister in law remind you of that you are good times, better off and should take pride in your high standards. Quality not quantity. I have a great talent of getting over thing very quickly.

Saturday night was my funniest night out in a while. I went to Mel's bday pre-party then met the Flay at Levack Block for her party. On my way to Levack I bumped into 4 Brantford friends who were on thier way to Baby Huey's. Then as any good Brantford boy would do, you buy shots for your hometown counterparts. I went to Baby Huey on my way to Mel's bar party. My Brantford boys weren't there to have a shot with me. So I said a quick hi to Esther, who I know through someone I knew briefly. She is good times. I am a big fan.

Then I went to Sweaty Betty's where my friend Jonathon is a bartender for a drink. There I found the Brantford boys and took them back to Baby Huey, had a quick shot and moved on to Mel's Birthday party at Wrongbar. Only to have one of the Brantford boy's say "We never get to hang out with Marky Craig. He is awesome." They showed up at the bar as well. Everyone in Brantford calls me Marky. They came to the bar and we had a fun night.

Then after Mel's party Mikey B. Danielle and I were walking to my place for a night cap up Ossington when I heard the Flay squeal "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" I ran across the street then she invited us to an after party where all the guys had acccents. It was strange but funny.

Then my female buddy Danielle slept over and we had fun recalling the night and laughing this am. Sleep overs are fun and I am a big fan of wake up sleep over talk.

OMG! Olympics 19 Days away

I love Olympics. 19 days yo. Vancouver native Sarah McLachlan has recorded an official Olympic song. The song is medium. The video is beautifully shot.



19 sleeps. I will be completely unavailable February 12-28. I like the Olympics just that much.

Pee on a tree


Friday night I was walking home from work. When all of a sudden I needed to piss like a racehorse. I don't know what happened. Usually this never happens. I was walking down College Street bent over squeezing my "you know" as I tried to find an alley or secluded park for a quick pee. I don't like peeing in restaurants that I am not a costumer in. I like rules remember.

I was going to to the Dufferin Mall to pick up wine and beer for entertaining this weekend. Conveniently located across the road from the mall is a park. So as I was walking up to the park, I opened my coat, unfastened my belt and undid my pants. It was about to come out no matter what. Thank goodness it was dark as I was running to the tree while peeing. That's a weird experience.

I also am so against outdoor relieving yourself. So gross but I had to this time. While mid-pee a bus stopped about 20 feet away from me on the street. I became to freak out as I was totally on display. Then the female bus driver just shooked her head at me. I hung my head in shame although accidents do happen.

Another reason I don't like outdoor urination is the lack of handwashing facilities. Lucky for me the Dufferin Mall has purell at all the enterances and that saved me until I could do a proper wash in the washroon.

Accidents happen. So does pee, it just happens.

Friday Falls: Big balls

Skip to 1:25 then laugh.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Haircut day

Thanks to Michelle for the haircut tonight. It's Flay's and Mel's birthday parties tonight so I need to look good for my ladies.I just thought "oh it would be cute if Mya was in this pic. Then she jumped in my lap. Thanks bitch!

Tonight's haircut was kind of like Babershop talk. Good for soul. "Mishiekwa" got to hear about my recent string of bad luck. Mikey B and Flava Flay were good to speak with as well as always. I have a lot of love in me and I ridiculousy love my friends.

And now it is time for a big dance and booty shake......

Music to my ears: Bair Waldolf

Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester has a new girlie poppy dance song out. The kind of live for! My neighbours have been hearing it all weekend.



As Blair would say now "Daroda, get me another martini and don't be a scrooge with the gin."

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Detox is over


I ended detox a day early. I felt since I have already worked 50 hours this week I deserved a beer when I got home. It was nice to have dinner at 9pm tonight and not the usually 1030pm. It's been crazy at work. But the out comes have been amazing I am really proud. We took tonight as our off night and de-cluttered the house for garbage night. Very important.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Happy Birthday to Fabulous Flay


She is one of my favourite people in the whole world. About a year and a half ago I met a new co-worker after I got a promotion and got moved downtown early. Flay joined my team and sadly had to leave when the mat leave she was covering came back. 2 people have now had Flay's job and tell them both to their faces they are no Flay.

Here is just scratching the surface of why I love this lady:

1) She is Fabulous. Anybody who gets an adjective like that in front of their name on our second meeting is someone I like. I heard from other co-workers why they didn't get a nickname. Not everyone can be Fabulous.
2) She loves Tim Hortons for breakfast. Me too. We used to always go and see Belt Bagel. The girl who call out all the BELT sandwhiches like that. Fact of the matter is all belts come on bagels. She should have been saying bacon or sausage. But she was too scary to tell.
3) She is the most excitable person I know. Famous for squealing (even in email as EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!) and arm squeezes (please see pic above.)
4) We often distrubbed the whole first floor by laughing. My loud annoying laugh, followed by Flay's "I'm dying. I'm dying." Then doors on the floor would slam.
5) Fellow maritiner, Margot has nicknamed her "Flava Flay" and it stuck as it should.
6) She is the friendliest person I know. I love the way her face lights up followed by running hugs when she sees me. All my friends love them some Flay too.
7) Power tools during construction make her scream. It's funny to see.
8) She loves snuggies and informercials and does good imitations of the young ghetto mom who says on the TBS commercial "I had kid's young too you know!"
9) She is a good person to talk to. Famous for saying "What! Okay, Can we talk about this."
10) She is a causal commercial actress. Check out this month pushing Rogers and Petfood.
11) She will also come out with me anywhere. She is one trooper.

The list goes on and on.
Happy Birthday Flava Flay! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Arm Squeeze. We dance Saturday.
xo

2 Birthdays Today


Birthday number 1, My Auntie Karen. Happy Birthday Auntie! I don't get to see her as much as I would like but here are some reasons I think she is rad:

1) She reads my blog everyday!
2) She loves theatre and musicals. Ditto!
3) She likes tall dutch guys.
4) She is one spunky lady.
5) She makes good food.
6) She is quite a funny one.
7) She took good care of my 4 siblings while they were at school in London.
8) She raised 2 great cousins.
9) She is Grandma to 3 amazing kids.
10) She is a good Facebook friend.

This is good: Aveeno Lip Balm


I have been searching for new lip balm since Blistex Invisible for Men went kaput about a year ago. I think I found one. Aveeno Instant Relief Therapy. It contains oatmeal and it works suuupppper!

I need a hair cut. Oh Michelle.......

This made me laugh

Thanks to my cousin Kendra who sent this in to me. Kendra is awesome! She is a good drinking buddy and she loves to dance. What else could you ask for in a cousin.

Check out the newest Snuggie infomercial.


video

I am not a fan of the urinating on yourself but everything else is awesome.

I betcha my Aunt Pat will find this for me. 8-)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The hat came back the very next day

I thought I lost my hat this weekend but then we found it behind Belle's couch. Yay! I love this hat and so does most other people. The majority always has nice things to say about it. Belle and I picked it out in Ottawa this summer.

My Grandpa used to wear hats like this. I think it is one reason why I like it. Oh and look behind me. No more Christmas decor. Until late November that is.

Ouchie


Tonight at the gym on the torso rotation machine, where you kneel down on a pad and then you rotate your torso while keeping your chest straight, my knees were sweaty and one feel off the pad. The result of this was my torso jarring going back to the starting position, me flying forward and injuring what feels like a few muscles and bones in my buttal area. It is going to be sore in the morning.

Now that is what you call a pain in the ass. Couple this with my charlie horse from falling this weekend and I am going to be walking like I just spent my first night in prison and became some dude named Brutus' bitch.

Other than that the gym has been going well. I have a new gym friend and yesterday I bumped up all my weights. I even heard some dude who used the tricep machine after me call my 140lbs reps say "Whoa, who ever used this last was hardcore.

That was fun to hear. "That's right asshole. I'm hardcore." (So happily not hardcore.)

CityTV Layoffs


Firstly, thanks to everyone who sent me emails or text but rest assure, I don't work for CityTV. I work for another national Canadian Television Network. I didn't get laid off.

Secondly it was sad to hear that 35 local staff members at City lost their jobs. I never like to see colleages loss their jobs. From the on-air staff, Toronto legend, Anne Mroczkowski was laid off after 23 years. They have also canceled their noon, 5pm and some weekend newscasts. You can't build a strong news presence with limited newscasts.

Also getting the boot:
Laura Di Battista, Pam Seatle, Marian Dimain, Merella Fernandez, Farah Nasser and Michael Serapio. Sad.

Thirdly, CityTV's parent company Rogers is the biggest company arguing the local TV matters campaign. Rogers even told the CRTC that local TV Is profitable and doesn't need money from Cable companies to survive. I guess local TV really doesn't matter to Rogers. Shame.

Monday, January 18, 2010

New shoes


Well, kind of. I like my black pair of Nike Dunk low cuts so much that when my current pair become worn out I found them again on ebay brand new for only $65. Now that is a bargain. They will become my new inside winter shoes at work and I will be sashaying down Queen Street in them this spring and then they will be worn out again. I go through shoes really fast.

I like that they are basic black with a splash of colour, the colour orange which happens to be my fav.

In other news the Christmas decorations are coming down this week. I've heard from some of you about them. I spend all my time at work and the gym. Soon enough people.

Now this a bargain: Doritios and Charmin

No Frills my favourite place for packaged goods and low cost savings has sales on 2 of my favourite things this week:

1) Doritios $1.99
2) Charmin Toilet Paper $3.99

It's so worth it. My favourite junk food (which I enjoy in moderation) and the best premium toilet paper out there. Your butt will love you.

Today was Blue Monday


It was Blue Monday today. Why you depressed? Apparently this is the day that people get the most depressed. Bills pile up, resolutions have failed, the weather is not the greatest.

The Globe article gives some good ways to avoid depression. I have some good tips too. I rarely get sad. Too much sunshine, lollipops and rainbows for me.

1) Dance! Dancing is fun. I do it every day and it always puts a smile on your face.
2) Get outside. I love being outside even in the winter. I walk for at least an hour a day and it's how some of my best creative thinking comes to me.
3) Work out. I always feel like a million bucks after my workouts. 5-6 times a week. That's a lot of million bucks.
4) Hang out with friends and family or call them. Always puts a smile on my face.
5) Always remember it could be way worse.
6) Don't get hung up on the past what happened has happened, move on. For example if you had a friendship or relationship end, you should be happy that it ended when it did and that you didn't waste time on trying to make it out. As I like to say "NEXT!" Being friends with exes after a while though I am a big believer in. If you shared a special period of time there is probably a good friendship worth holding on to. But never date again, only friends.
7) Eat healthy, fruit trays do wonderful things.
8) Pet your pussy (or dog) Mya makes me happy. (Pictured above.)
9) Plan stay in nights to keep your costs down and have fun nights in with friends.
10) I love hugs, giving and receiving. Hug lots (only friends who you approve of their cleanliness though.)
11) Watch videos of people falling on my blog or read the "I often fall" columns. That should make you feel a bit better.
12) I would normally say have a drink with someone but I am off the sauce this week so no doing that. That means you can't either.

Hugs,

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Whoa Katie!



My baby sis, Katie went bungee jumping in Australia. I like heights but I don't like balconies over 6 flights. They scare me. I also don't like the more I age being turned upside down quickly (i.e. roller coasters.) Check out the pics below. Glad you lived to tell about it Katers.

I lurve this


This photo makes me melt. One of my favourite people and Salsa dance partner, Angie looking super cute dancing to Tina Turner on New Years. I lurve this. Australians say lurve not love.

Look at that hair. Werk it girl! Amazing!

A series of unfortunate events


Last night a bunch of minor shit happened to me. It happens. You have to forge ahead and smile. (Like the pic above.)

1) Since I am a nice guy, I volunteered to pick up booze for my friends before dinner. I put the multiple bottles in a gym bag that contained a VCR Michelle was borrowing from. Then while walking to Belle's I noticed the back of my knee caps where slightly moist. Why I am sweating in the winter I thought. Then I realized that a beer in my bag was leaking through the bag and down my coat and pants. Not cool.

2) Then once walking down the Clinton to get to Belle's I almost got backed over by a stupid cab driver. Then the passengers in the back of the cab rolled down the window and said "Get off the road you F'in pedestrian." It turned out to be my friends Aleysa and Tobias. Assholes.

3) I had to do a number 2 at Belles. It was a little one but the toilet ended up being flooded. My toilet water got so high that it touched my bum. Therefore I had to wash my bum in Belle's washroom. Then bleach the poo plunger.

Then I had an amazing night with my friends who I absolutely love and adore at the Henhouse and Augusta House. There was a lot of Dolly Parton on the Jukebox at Henhouse thanks to me. That was fun. Then our friend Fawn was DJing, also fun. So I turned the night around. I always still positive and keep things light. I embrace my inner spaz.

4) Then on the way home I fell and ripped a hole in my new skinny jeans. Bahahahahahaahhaha!

See funny. You got to roll with it.

This video makes me ridiculously happy...

Giddy like a school girl:

OK Go - This Too Shall Pass from OK Go on Vimeo.



I love marching bands. My favourite marching band song is Louie, Louie. This is fun.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Oh hell no


Today on one of my usual marathon walking sessions on weekends I encounter scaffolding (which I hate) and a ladder (also hate walking under them.) I am very superstitious. So this guy walked around cursing the bad luck and the ugliness of it all.

This is good: The Refined Feline

OMG! This infomercial is hilarious. Why the British accent? Still this is amazing. I can't figure out how to get them to ship to Canada so I will call on Monday. I see a Kitt-in box in Mya's future and my new place is going to be filled with cat clouds and a litter cabinet.

Best line of the week: Green Bin Baby


Michelle on her Adventures in Babysitting last night with a 4 month old.

"This baby is going in the green bin."

Friday, January 15, 2010

Friday Falls: Ball jump

I think Johnny, Boy got served.

Hmmmm


This bitch needs to get a new bike seat colour or longer skirts.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Not impressed


Starbucks has switched to loose leaf tea. This is great it is a bolder and richer flavour. They did not bring back my favourite herbal tea, Wild Sweet Orange in the loose leaf form. Sad. They did release an Orange Blossom Green Tea but some of us can't have caffeine and want Wild Sweet Orange back.

Also the loose leaf tea is pack by the cashier in the loose tea bag satchels. So they are touching all the money and then handling the bag to fill it with the loose leaves. That is dirty and not cool. The old tea system they could do with out touching the bag it's self.

It is still under $2 for tea which is nice.

I think I'm obsessed


with the Salsa.

I have been practicing my hip shaking lots. I even showed Monica how to salsa dance on the sidewalk of Spadina and King today. The walker bys seemed to enjoy it. There was one bully in class. He got dirty looks from me. When the instructor said "everyone got it?" He piped up and said "Um Ya, It's pretty straight forward." And then when the instructor said "Don't look at your feet." He opened his yak hole again and said "ya, it's brutal."

No one wanted to be his partner. Also I was wearing gloves in the dance move of the week because I need to cut Mya's nails. That's why.

Caliente! (That means hot!)

Everyone can help


The earthquake in Haiti was absolutely devastating. They really need help. Over 50,000 people have died. Many are still buried alive in ruble and time is ticking. Orphans are wandering the streets, lined with the victims, hungry, helpless and scared.

So heartbreaking.

Here is how you can help.

Plan Canada (The Canadian gov't will match your donation.) You can even text $5 in support to HAITI to 30333

Canadian Red Cross

Unicef

World Vision


LCBO and TTC will are also collecting for the Red Cross. Anything helps. Canadians have already raised $5.6 million. That's an amazing start.

This stew's for you

Mmmmm yummy! Tonight after the gym I made a slow cooker stew which will be ready in the morning. I get nervous about slow cooking when not home. My recipe is pretty basic but oh so yummy. It litterally takes 10 minutes to make and 8 hours later you have a lovely hearty winter meal if I do say so myself.

Here are some tips.
1) Cut extra vegetables for you to eat. You deserve a healthy treat.
2) Always remember bay leaves (my favourite spice after rosemary and tarragon.) As Michelle's grandma says "Who ever finds a bay leaf in thier meal wins a prize." (Oh, I put on my hat because I don't like when my hair gets poofy.) I had a crazy makeout session infront of the gym tonight. Ha!
3) Use plastic food service handling gloves when touching raw meat. This is always almost the death of me. I hate raw meat. When I opened the gloves drawer and Mya heard the sound of plastic gloves being put on she came running over. People who are allergic to Mya but can't touch her often pet her with the gloves on. That's nice. My Loblaws stew beef had a lot of fat in it. Not impressed. Galen Weston is going to hear about this.

And Viola! See you in 8-10 hours baby!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Sad: Dexter has cancer


This is sad. Michael C. Hall who plays Dexter is currently battling Hodgekin's Lymphoma, a form of cancer that Mario Lemieux beat about a decade ago. I love Michael C. Hall from the days of my favourite TV show ever, Six Feet Under. He played the late out of the closet middle adult child in the Fisher household. He was amazing at his character. When I watched the first episode of Dexter I was all "How is the gay guy from Six Feet Under so convincing as a good guy serial killer?"

Then I learned that he wasn't gay (he played it so believably in Six Feet Under.) More shocking is that he is married to the actress who plays Deb in real life. Ew. Everyone hates Deb. Yucky.

Michael's cancer is said to be in remission and he is expected to make a full recovery.

That is good news.

On Sale Friday



2 Of my favourite bands of the moment are playing together in April at The Phoenix. XX and JJ (logos above), MDC (My initials) will be there.

Tickets go on sale this Friday. Don't be lazy and not buy. Laziness is so unbecoming.

Dance move of the week: Let's get ready to rumba


Tonight Angie and I had our first Latin dance lesson. It was so much fun. 3 key lessons we learned today about Latin dance:

1) Always smile
2) Don't look at your feet
3) Saying "I can't" is not allowed.

These are pretty much my rules for life too. Our instructor Louie is actually my next door neighbour and has been for 3 years. I didn't even know he knew how to dance. It was really fun. Angie and I broke rules and didn't switch partners when they called switch. A) I don't like to touch strangers (next week I am purelling the whole class.) B) We were both beginners so we should always dance together. It was a good workout and fun too. I was dripping sweat by the end of the night. Joni walked by the dance room at the gym and left me a voicemail saying we were freaking adorable. That was nice. She also said my new voicemail greeting is adorable. You'll have to call me to find out why.

We performed tonight for our friends. It went well. The instructor gave me some creative criticism, he said I know the moves but don't trust myself. That could be true. I am going to practice this week and maybe show up slightly buzzed next week. I dance better buzzed. video

This is fun: 2005 Heinkein commercial

I would love to direct a commercial like this someday. Fun. My cousin Mike from Calgary who I spent a super fun night on uber Ossington Street (that's what the blogs say) a weeks back sent me this.



I am very impressed that I awoke extra early today to get to work to direct the hosts of CP24 Breakfast for an upcoming spot I am doing. The results were great!

Monday, January 11, 2010

How did I live so long without you


I have made no secret about my love of pineapple. Here are some tips I can provide you from this guy with the glasses.



Thanks to Mel for serving up pineapple while we played a new card game to me tonight. It was called hand and foot. You can learn how to play here. Don't ask me. I was pure shit at it. I ended the game over negative 500 points. I don't usually get competitive with cards and was more into conversing. Also there is an element of risk and we all know I don't like to be risky.

Anyhow once the pineapple got placed on the table my only reason for being there was to eat it. So I got distracted. The pineapple was actually so good that I declared I was going to become a facebook fan of pineapple and so I did. A couple people ended up liking my new liking. Nice to see we are on the same page. Now here is a lady in a pineapple hat. I really want to find my own pineapple hat.

Walmart rap

Before I was a TV producer/director over 10 years ago I was a Wal-Mart employee and I have pretty much seen it all. Not quite as much as this but enough.



How did I live without Purell? I constantly washed (and still do.) It was my job to sell bb pellets to white trash. I hated it. I am so against any sort of gun shooting that I used to preach safety and peace to the customers. I would ID everyone too. Even old people. Just to be a shit.

More like Hick-opoly


Monopoly is currently planning a new Canadian version and computer geeks can vote from 60 cities to choose the top 22 Canadian cities to make the cut. Right now the current top 20 is looking a little hicky.

They did not ask for the cities that have the most Tammys. Really. Leading the pack is some city I have never heard of. Followed by Medicine Hat and Oshawa (ew.) Number 6 Kawartha Lakes, Number 12 Drummondville, 13 Brantford (Hometown! I love you but no) and number 20 is Chatham-Kent. We are these people coming from?

Serious people and we wonder why the rest of the world makes fun of us. If you want to add your city full of Tammys to list go here.

You have 41 days left to vote so you'll need to take a break from making out with your cousin to register and vote.

Music to my ears: New Knife



Yay! The music blogs are all a buzz today with the The Knife's new project, an opera collabration with Mt. Sims and Planningtorock. You can go to their website site to download the first released track for free. It's good to get on your favourite band's mailing lists. Most bands these days are giving thier fans little presents such as free tracks these days.

The free song, off of the double disc album to be released on March 1, 2010 (one week from my birthday) is Colouring of Pigeons. A beautiful 10 minute song featuring the beautiful vocals of Karin Dreijer Andersson. Who keeps pushing her creativity from her solo disc as Fever Ray to this now.

Although I am not expecting thier to be any songs like Heartbeats. The only song I have a routine strip number chreographed too and perform almost every saturday morning as my get out of bed, get moving song before I shower. It's fun.

Thanks to Peter for filling me in on this.

And for those of you who would like to have your own little pre-shower, non sexual strip routine to heartbeats here it is:

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Board game weekend



Fun times indeed. Friday night was my friends and I's first friday of winter fridays stay in night. We played Girl Talk. The game for 12 year old girls in 1988. I had a good showing in the first game getting no zit stickers and coming third.

Key learnings from this game of truth or dare:
1) Danielle was the only one who had to call a boy and tell them a joke. That sucked.
2) When Mel was asked what she would change her name to, she choose Tammy. We told this South African/British import that only whores in trailer parks are named Tammy. She now knows.
3) When I had to describe my perfect guy as a 12 year old girl from the 80s it was determined that I had just described my self.
4) Danielle had to tell each of us our best and worst feature. We decided that worst feature for all was that we drank too much. Just to not create drama. She said my best features was that I am good looking (blush) and my impeccable style. That was nice to hear. I just wear what my ladies pick out for me. There are way more important things in life to be concerned about. No one told Danielle her best features, so I will now: She is beautiful, a good listener, amazing to go out to the bar with and heaps of fun all around.
5) Angie won and her "special moment" fortune card said that she was going to play softball in the 96 Olympcis. Way to go Angie.

Tonight was friend scrabble night. The letters were not liking me tonight. Also my attention span couldn't handle my score keeping volunteering so Belle took over. She also won. Congrats Belle!

Herre is a pic of Belle and I playing Scrabble tonight.

Peter Pan gone wrong

My high school did the musical Peter Pan like 11 years ago. They enlisted all the obese kids to hold the wires for the flying characters. I guess this school in Greensboro had a lack of chubby kids. I love musical theater and hate to judge but this is hilarious. I would expect this if ever I starred in a musical because I am spazzy but my dreams of singing on broadway were quickly hushed in grade 5 when my music teacher, Mrs. Stager told me that I sing off key and was only allowed to lip sync during concerts so that I would not ruin the concert for the other parents. I still hate her.

Stuck in the middle: Fun!


I don't know why but I always sleep on the same side of my bed. Left side not against the wall. I have this nice big bed but never until Friday have I really explored the real estate. I usually stick close to the left side and use the right side to pile all the pillows I don't want near me. I woke up around 5am on Friday to Mya head butting me (what a bitch!) So for the first time I moved into the middle and I loved it. I am turning over a new leaf. Middle always from now on.

It's so weird that I haven't explored the middle bed position because whenever my friends who are in relationships and have the boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse out of town I encourage them to spread like a star fish and own it. But never have I invested in this. Until now. Hello star fish, here I come!
Spread 'em!

Best line of the week: The Guy from MTV


A group of people this weekend I just met at the bar told me that I was "a cuter, taller, thinner, thinner glasses version of the guy from the mtv aftershow."

That was nice to hear. I think Dan Levy is a good looking guy so this was a nice compliment to hear from strangers. Blush.

Cuteness runs in the family


My cute dad loved his birthday blog post so much that he asked my sister to print it so he can put it on the fridge. Now that is freaking cute.

It runs in the family. I'm just saying.

I often fall: First fall of the winter


Friday night I had my first (of a projected many) winter falls. I was leaving Mikey B's place late at night and slid right off the sidewalk, making myself airborne and landing in the middle of Euclid at Queen. Good thing there were no cars coming. That would have been a freaking catastrophe.

I landed on my side bruising my knee, tailbone, elbow and hip. Good thing I bounce back quickly. And the pain was not enough for me to not be able to shake it at the Beaver and Business Women's Special. Fun times I tell you!

Hip bruise pic above.