I awoke not feeling good and came into work late. Monica at work was looking for me as she often does in the morning and was told I was coming in later. She said "Oh, that's probably because we were doing shots all night." When in fact I didn't go out last night or see her and was not feeling unwell from drinking. She is a shit disturber.
Later she told me about how the gays love her and she knows so many. So I said "they love you because you sometimes resemble a drag queen." That should be a new best line of the week.