Friday, October 30, 2009

Dance move of the week: Cowboy

So your 3 favourite ladies are playing a show the day before Halloween so why not dress up. I have lots of cowboy stuff so I easily came up with this. I made it black and white like an old western movie. Man, I am clever.


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Dance move of the week: Do not microwave

So when being a female for Halloween you have 2 choices, shave your legs or buy leggings from American Apparel. The latter won. What better way to ring in the hosiery then busting a move for dance move of the week.



I am going to have a long, fun time with these suckers.

Six feet under on Rogers on demand

My favourite show, Six Feet Under is now has all of season 1 on Rogers on Demand. Amazing! I have been catching up. The creator Alan Ball is the same person who created American Beauty (Amazing!) and True Blood (Awesome.) This man can totally do no wrong. I love that it's back again.

When Ruth says "You gave me life." Hello, water works! I really like this show, No, I really like it. Don't watch until you seen the end.



The song at the end is Breathe Me by Sia. What's fun in Toronto is that Sia usually works the merchandise table for her girlfriend/DJ J.D. Sampson (from Le Tigre and MEN) when she spins in Toronto and loves to dance. It's an amazing sight.

Here is one of my favourite Ruth clips:

Claire does drugs and makes her mom pants.

Part 1


Part 2:

Amazing

I don't do pumpkins I don't like to get my hands slimy, unless it is really worth it. But my former co-worker, Sean made this Howard Stern Pumpkin. Amazing!

Good hair, great movie

Tonight I went to see Good Hair with my best black, Barb (aka "B", the lady who kicks me out of her office repeatedly daily) and another guy. Me and the other guy were the only whites there. It was hilarious. I sympathize with my ladies but now I have I whole new appreciation for the work that black women go through to look the way they do.

B's mom is a hairdresser and went to the famous Atlanta hair dressing school they feature in the movie. You could hear the sister's saying "It's true" through out the movie. The best interactive movie experience ever. Check it out while you can. I don't even like Chris Rock but I loved this.

Ice T has the best last line of any movie I have ever seen. I will not tell you what it is.

Still my favorite post ever

I am almost at 1,000 posts! Who knew I had so much to talk about myself.

Check it out here.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Don't forget

Dance while you clean. Reward yourself bitches!

It's my 15 monutes reward after doing dishes immediately after dishes. Try it! It's fun and gets the job done!

1 minute, that's a new record


So I ran out of toner this morning and went to Lush to buy more of my favourite toner, Fresh of Breath Air. Pussy approves! I love the toner. Nothing closes my pores like the Lush brand. Especially since my recent face plant scars have turned half my face fluorescent red but I hate how in Lush, 4 annoying sales ladies always try to sell you the same things.

Tonight I wasn't having any of it. I was like a football player, my dad would be so proud! I turned my ipod up super loud to Kylie's Boombox. The Lush ladies descended upon me. Good thing I know how to bitch slap. I bitch slapped left, I bitched slapped right. I spun and dyked (I may have spelt that wrong) out of the way. Grabbed my breath of fresh air and then spun my way to the cash.

I kept the music blasting which I never do but I pretended I was so in to it I couldn't hear her sales pitch on shaving cream and after shave. I don't shave and use an electric, when nessecary. I handed her my bank card.

Wham! Bam! Thank you Ma'am!

That's how you do the 1 minute Lush experience.

Here is my pump up song.

Detachable Vag

This is funny. I don't own a vagina but this made me laugh. Wanda knows vag. Thanks Michelle!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Bull shit and horse shit!

Why is it that a cop on a horse can give a ticket to some one not picking up dog shit but they let there horse's shit all over the streets. Unbelievable.

Today I stepped in a huge pile of turd. I was not impress. I even had to use a public washroom to clean it off. I never want to have to it again. My sock touched the public washroom floor. I've lysoled the shoes inside and ate and threw out the sock. So long sucker.

Horse shit, I tell you! Horse shit!

So You Think You Can Dance Wrap Party

The SYTYCDC Wrap party was fun last night. I behaved, it was a work function after all. They had go-go boys and girls wearing nothing but gold underwear dancing, my co-workers thought that I should've gone up on stage in gold underwear. This didn't happen.

I even was a good Samaritan and took home a co-worker who enjoyed herself a little too much. Lesson learned here, you don't need to drink doubles at an open bar.

Here is a before the madness happened. I have blurred her face.

And I drew a picture of the after of me carrying her through her condo. I put her in the recover position and then put her brother in charge.


CN Tower stair climb, no go


When you BFF invites you to her work for drinks after work, then to her home to drink wine from a case she got from work, then you have a birthday party to go to and then out the bar and then out again. You have been drinking for too long. As I found out Saturday morning as I didn't get up in time for the stair climb. I really shouldn't be out in public after 2am anyhow.

Oh well. I can try again for the WWF Climb. At least I have given the United Way a $50 (tax deductible) donation. Besides this thing ended at 10am. That is way to earlier to be all bright eyed and bushy tailed on a Saturday, anyhow.

You live, you learn.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Nice hair

Today in FCUK some guy was following me around, it was strange. Then he came up to me and was all "Excuse me, may I ask who does your hair?" I said "Michelle" and then he said "Michelle from where?" I said "Oh, she only cuts my hair and we do it on the balcony of her house." He was then all "How much does she charge" and then I was all "I have to buy her a box of hair dye for her. Usually between $10-$12." He then said "It's a shame she is not business." I said "yes, she a real beauty school drop out."

And then he kept looking at me and smiling (Mark whisper voice: "I think he was trying to be pick me up.") And then I was all "Okay, Bye!" Then I left.

Good work on the hair always Michelle!

Best line of the week: Pink Concert

Angie Bird said this last night when describing a dance move from the Pink concert.

"I am a sucker for groups of people walking in straight lines."

That's a good one. Here is a photo of Angie and I dancing early this summer.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Dance move of the week: Glee's Hate on me

Thank you this week is over. Ultimately my least favourite week in a while. These things happen and are expected. Minor bumps in life, work and friends. You can be sad or you can do as I do and dance mother fuckers!

This was amazing, Glee doing a version of my beloved Jill Scott's Hate on me. I really like fat black girls, Mercedes is awesome as well.

Sorry for the bad lighting. I was trying to catch up on a Glee marathon and knocked over my floor lap when I fell asleep and knock and then awoke to a big crash as I found my self stretching out my legs in my sleep only to knock it over and then be cleaning up broken glass from 5-6am. I also show off my wedding garter collection. I often catch them, just so not ready for marriage. This party boy isn't settling down any time soon.

Sullivan gave her students 2 instructions for this song. 1) Pop and Lock (I did it.) 2) Mariah hands (done.)

Sorry it's so long.



Here is the real cast's performance:


I love this show! Have a an amazing wet weekend!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

This was almost the death of me yesterday


A wayward used kleenex in front of my office area.

I go out of my way to make the cleaners job easier but I just couldn't pick this up. I kept forgetting the kleenex was there and then would yelp, turn around and go the long way to my desk. Cold and flu season is upon us people. Please tend to your tissues! Tisk, tisk.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

No (under)pants, no problem


I went commando tonight for the first time of my life. I forgot to bring extra gitch to the gym and instead of putting back on my gross sweaty moist panties (I know a co-worker who hates both those words and I was able to use them in a sentence. Yee haw!)

To tell you the truth, I actually kind of liked it. The boys felt so free. So alive! It was so liberating. If you, like me, were once afraid of going commando you should try it!

Would I do it again? No, that's trashy! I like a minimum 2 layers between my gents and the outside world.

p.s. I just looked at my nipples again. Totally not symmetrical.

Back in business

I'm back at the gym this week starting up again to 6 days a week, 30 minutes of cardio followed by alternating arms and back and legs and abs. It feels good to be in a routine, after a great summer with new and old friends, fun adventures and new experiences. Work got in the way a lot too. While not anymore. Back in business. Today was a really good day.

I love the feeling of a just worked out body. Some girls at work were starting to say that I was looking sickly. We can have that. Although I am not sure that I completely agree with them.

Also I spent about 30 minutes tonight trying to figure out if my nipples were symetrical, one mirror says yes, the other says no. Things that make you go Hmmmm. Never before have nipples caused me so much confusion.

Look what came in the mail today

The first part of my Halloween costume. I am going as a famous female this year. I've never done female before.
I am so going to rock it. I'm going to shave my face as well. Work it girl!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Beep beep


Today once I got to work I accidentally walked into my favourite traffic reporter from the 24 hour Toronto news channel in my building. This made me laugh because it's her job to tell people how to avoid collisions but she couldn't avoid a collision from me in the hall. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

It's also funny that I like her so much, considering that I don't drive. I think I just like her cause she seems nice.

Oh you!

Who is better for a boost during the cold depressing fall that my dear friend Natasha. Natosh, as she is lovingly refered to is like me but x3 to the extreme. This bionic woman's body is made of metal from monumental falls she has had. I don't even come close to fall the way she does. I have seen her splat on restaurant floors, fall through a coffee table and bust through an A-frame sign in front of a restaurant. She showed me her new scars as in June a stray dog ran in front of her bike, she T-boned it, breaking her elbow and having to have it rebuilt with metal, only to have her body reject the metal so she spent the summer with 2 metal rods poking out of her arm. What a gal! The dog didn't get hurt. Natosh still sees it in Whitehorse and warns people against it.

We had an unexpected reunion today as she is in town from Whitehorse for a work conference. She was very complimentary to my hair, clothing and beard. Always nice to hear nice things from people who love. She is a good person with a kind heart.

We also recalled some of the best lines we've ever heard in each other's present. Such as:

"She looks like she should have a mulatto baby."
and
"She looks as though her feet would smell."

She is also the originator of one of my favourite sayings. "Oh you!"

Great visit. More to come Friday.

Today was not my favourite day


I awoke not feeling good and came into work late. Monica at work was looking for me as she often does in the morning and was told I was coming in later. She said "Oh, that's probably because we were doing shots all night." When in fact I didn't go out last night or see her and was not feeling unwell from drinking. She is a shit disturber.

Later she told me about how the gays love her and she knows so many. So I said "they love you because you sometimes resemble a drag queen." That should be a new best line of the week.

We laughed. She is a little firecracker like me.

Marge's boobie in Playboy

To celebrate the 20th anniversary of The Simpson's Marge is posing nude for Playboy. They even show her boobies. I don't think I need to see cartoon nipples but if you do. Here are the twins.Sorry Marge but I think I can out nipple you.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

When life gives you lemons, you DANCE

Have a bad weekend? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed? There is only one solution. Dance!!!!


It's fun when friends give you free clothes


Free clothes = fun! Nice free clothes is always fun. I really like clothes, I like friends and family more than clothes.

This shirt is so cute. Although I prefer to wear bright colours black is okay as well. Look it is a guy walking a big cock on a leash, It came from Belle's work. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Music to my ears: New NYPC


My 2nd favs New Young Pony Club have released a cover my beloved PJ Harvey's song Dress to tie fans over until their new album, which comes out in 2010.

Amazing listen to it here.

I really like this photo of me

Hubba huba.

What I will not be for Halloween


I will not be a fake leather daddy but it's always fun to dress up.

And to my vegetarian friends this get up was completely leather free.

What a couple of cunts

I called it. These 2 loser parents made me stay at work late this week because I was so sad and so hoping for the best while their son was allegedly in a balloon. The police investigation shows that the balloon couldn't support the weight of the child.

They even caused the child so much trauma that he barfed live on air. If I even liked Colorado I would go there and bitch slap both of the parents over the rockies.

They should rot in jail and their kid's deserve to be in a family that doesn't whore them out.

Thanks to friends


I really do have the best friends ever.

They threw a "We love Mark" dinner Saturday. There were tacos, fried hallumi, ice cream, drinks, great friends afterwards a keg. 5 of my favourite things.

Thanks friends. I feel the love!

Best line of the week: Shakira

This was nominated by my beloved Joni, who was DJing at the Beaver friday. My new favourite dance song is She Wolf by Shakira.

I did what happens at 1:12 and 2:56 in the video while yelling "I am dislocating my shoulders." while dancing. Fun times.
(Like Shakira does.)


She Wolf - Shakira

AAAAwhhhoooooo!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Today is a Dolly Day

This seems fitting. Here's a little Dolly for this sunny day.



I'm off to spend the day with my favourite people.

Happy Sunny Saturday!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Candy sushi


I made candy sushi for the sushi party tonight. I don't think it will go over well but I do know that Joni will eat anything. I thought it was gross.

It's gummy worms, bears and licorce wrapped in rice krispie squares wrapped in fruit roll up.

I was feeling like I needed some praise at work today so I went around and showed everyone the photo. I knocked there socks off. Then someone high up said "I'm very proud of you getting your vacation days down. Great job." That was nice. Then a co-worker who just went on mat leave brought her baby in. The Mark praise ended for baby praise. I wasn't done being praised so I went around and showed everyone my candy sushi photo again.

It only half worked. Damn baby! Have a super fab weekend everyone!

Look! Godzilla


This photo is hilarious. I look gigantic.

Some stranger girl was taking photos on the street and I like to pose for photos.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Beth Ditto: The director's cut

I still can't believe I met cute Beth Ditto last night. She is just 2 weeks older than me. I love cute, chubby firecrackers too! That girl has moves. I saw her on the dance floor.

I originally took one picture with Beth and didn't like it. I don't like how I looked, I hated how you couldn't see Beth's eyes and how the loser behind is giving the stupid 2 fingers sign. So I went up to her and got a retake which I previously posted.

Let's hear it for wicked fat girls!

A kind reminder to my friends at Sushi night tomorrow

I will not roll. I am still getting over my first roll when it didn't work, Mel took photos and posted them on facebook and strangers laughed at my efforts.

I will roll penis sushi though, this is hilarious. I will not eat the penis though. I don't like fish.

I will eat Obama sushi though.

Thanks to Michelle and Elle for finding these funny pics earlier this week. How did they make the Obama sushi? Amazing.

I don't know what the believe...

and I don't like it. This freaking family caused me major amounts of stress and grief today as I washed from my desk the balloon flying for 2 hours and then another 2 hours finding out he was thankfully safe.

I think the parents a f'n wackjobs and need their kids to be taken away for sure. What kind of parent allows their kid's to play in a backyard that has a home made balloon that liftoff their kid's 1,000 feet into the air.

Then on Larry King tonight balloon admitting that he heard people calling for him but he didn't come because "He did it for the show." 40 seconds in.



Wolf Blizter pressed the issue later and the Dad snapped and blamed CNN for trying to entrap his son after thier stressful day.

Either way the parents are messed up and the kid's will grow up to be just as dumb. Sad.

Dance of the week: Winter Acessories

Here is a friendly dance to remind you to make sure all your winter accessories are purchased and washed because shit is getting cold outside. This weekend may be a perfect op. I was missing one glove. It's okay though. I didn't even like those gloves it was the only one's I could find late last winter after I lost another pair.


Stepping up for a semi good cause


I'm climbing the stairs of the CN Tower next weekend for a semi good cause. I always have wanted to do this, as I walk tons of stairs during the day at work. In the mornings I do calf raises and afternoons I do double stairs,

If you would like to support a charity that has a high over head (which I don't blame you for not) while I work on my legs and ass for bodacious results. you can sponsor me here. Only if you want.

Thanks bitches!

Ditto for Beth Ditto


OMG! JD! Margot! Beth! Belle! Michelle! Joni! Mel! Esther!
Female overload!

Look who I met and called me in her own words "Her new tall friend" tonight at the Social. Cute little Beth Ditto from the Gossip who Margot opened DJing for her after party.

Cute couple alert.

Don't know who The Gossip are. Check it out.


The best sister-in-law and nephews ever


Thanks to Marcia and Ian and Ben for going to Paris today for 6 hours and waiting and bidding on a landscape figurine that has sentimental value t0 me as I used to stare at it for hours at my grandparents house. My grandma recently had to go in to the retirement home and my mom asked what I wanted and that figurine was it.

My mom was supposed to keep it for me as a keepsake but accidentally sent it to auction. So Marcia and my nephews went to the auction in Paris today and won it back for me.

Amazing. I love that trio. I'm going to have to clear room on my mantle which is a good thing. Thanks Marcia for just being you and going beyond the call of sister-in-law-dom. Here it is. It's important to me.

Apparently the boys, aged 2 and 4 were amazing the whole time hanging with old farts. They are good boys.

Monday, October 12, 2009

This shit is amazing: Polysporin triple action


So it's been a week since my face made sweet love with the sidewalk outside of the Gladstone. I have nothing but amazing things to say about Polysporin triple action.

Here is the before.And ta dah! Here is the after:

That Polysporin shit is off the hook, yo!

Happy Thanksgiving


Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I had a great week off which included a haircut by Michelle, visiting Cambridge, an amazing meal cooked by Elle, a night out with Flava Flay, Tacos with Belle, Mel and Rob and a nice thanksgiving with parents.

I hope you all have a lot of nice things to be thankful for. Since I like lists, here is a selection of mine:

1) Loving parents
2) A gazillion siblings! (including the in-laws. "Hey girl, Hey!")
3) Amazing friends.
4) Nephews
5) Kylie, Madonna, Beyonce, CSS, NYPC, Dolly, Tori, Blonde Redhead
6) Cheese!
7) As they say in Rent, Wine and Beer!
8) A really good reason to visit Cambridge, Ontario
9) A good job that I love and co-workers I really like, especially my co-worker of leisure, Monica.
10) My bangin' bod
11) Nintendo Wii
12) iMacs
13) Bella and eyebrow threading
14) Mya Pussy, for all the good times
15) iPhone
16) Glee, True Blood and Dexter
17) Fun times
18) Restaurants
19) Doritos
20) Ice Cream
21) An Architect
22) My genitals (thanks for the good times.) Ha Ha Ha. Kidding (not!)
23) iTunes
24) Dance Music
25) Lysol Wipes and latex gloves
26) Daily vitamins
27) Outdoors
28) Long walks
29) Kensington Market
30) Mirrors
31) Rickard's White
32) Tacos
33) Beach Volleyball
34) The gym
35) My bike
36) Flays
37) Board Games
38) Chicken breast
39) Globes
40) Music and danicng
42) Purell
43) Reggie and Gypsy (Woof!)
44) Corduroys
45) Alan Ball
46) Apples and salad
47) Pools
48) Tooth brushes, dental floss,gum simulators and tongue scrappers
49) Musicals
50) Rob and Joni's sexy cars. (Although, I am self sufficient for getting places, still fun.)

As Britney Spears would say "Happy Thanksgiving Y'all"

I really really like being Unky Mark

It's been 3 months since I saw my wonderful nephews Ian and Ben today. They really make me happy. I make videos of them today.

Here is 2 year old Ben, telling me that he is ticklelish behind his knee cap and us having a serious discussion about pickles.




And here is 4 year old boy Ian, busting a move much like his Unky Mark. Kid's got moves.



I had a really good time with them today!

This is absolutely amazing


I have never dreamt about dessert until now. At Devon's bday party this week, Her BFF made cookies and cream cheesecake. I literally creamed myself it was so good. Mmmmmmmm Yuummyyy!

Never did I think Martha Stewart could turn me on, until now:

Here is the recipe. You are very welcome!

Martha Stewart's Cookies and Cream Cheesecakes Recipe
Makes 30

Ingredients:
42 cream-filled sandwich cookies, such as Oreos, 30 left whole, and 12 coarsely chopped
2 pounds cream cheese, room temperature
1 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 large eggs, room temperature, lightly beaten
1 cup sour cream
Pinch of salt


1. Preheat oven to 275 degrees. Line standard muffin tins with paper liners. Place 1 whole cookie in the bottom of each lined cup.

2. With an electric mixer on medium high speed, beat cream cheese until smooth, scraping down sides of bowl as needed. Gradually add sugar, and beat until combined. Beat in vanilla.

3. Drizzle in eggs, a bit at a time, beating to combine and scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Beat in sour cream and salt. Stir in chopped cookies by hand.

4. Divide batter evenly among cookie-lined cups, filling each almost to the top. Bake, rotating pan halfway through, until filling is set, about 22 minutes. Transfer to wire racks to cool completely. Refrigerate at least 4 hours (or up to overnight). Remove from tins just before serving

Best line of the week: Roast Beef

I over heard 2 ghetto girls on the street car yesterday.

Here are some highlights.

Girl 1: She didn't even offer me no meat, not even a drumstick.
Girl 2: I want roast beef.
Girl 2: Ah yay! Roast beef is slammin'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! Roast beef is slammin'! Best line ever!

Happy Birthday Carolyn and Mom

2 big birthdays in my family yesterday. As is tradition here on the blog here is why they are so great.

First my sister Carolyn (work it girl!)

1) She helped break in my parent's for all the fun stuff I've put them through.
2) She gave me a cute nephew Aven.
3) She offers me a place to stay in B.C.'s beautiful Kootenays.
4) She is fun to skype with after the bar beside of the time difference.
5) She yells at striking workers to go back to work. That makes me laugh.
6) She makes T-Shirts, Thanks for the shirt!
7) She is one of my 3 favourtie adoptees.
8) She likes to swim.
9) She loves taco! I love taco too!
10) She makes yummy cakes like this:
And it was my Mom's birthday as well. Now here is why she is the bomb:

1) She gave birth to moi.
2) She gave me 5 great sibblings.
3) She is from Holland, If you are not dutch, you're not much.
4) She really, really loves me, can you blame her?
5) She makes me chicken pot pie and potato soup.
6) She makes my dad really happy.
7) She is enjoying retirement after being the hardest working woman I know.
8) She likes to dance, I LOVE to dance.
9) When the washing machine goes unbalanced she yells "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!"
10) She is my mom!



Happy Birthday Bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


kidding, Love you!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

This is good: Google street view

Google maps has launched the Toronto Street view application. It's pretty cool. Drag the orange man to any street and check it out.

Here is a look from my hood.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Don't look at me, I'm hedious

So it's been 3 days since half of my face was ripped off by sidewalk. I still am suffering more from a bruised ego then a bruised face. Apologies again for those that I bled on and those who helped to clean my faceand take care of me. Although, I know after sustaining blunt force trauma to the face I told all of you how important you are to me.

Although, it's no secret I hope I don't need to eat sidewalk for me to verbalize it again. I really do have the best friends.

I tried to keep it low key this week since I have an f'd up face and I am off from work. I've seen kids and people stare at me. I don't blame them. I nodded heads with a guy who had a bunch of bandaids on his face in front of the ROM. I feel his his pain.

I also got chased down the street by a homeless person in a cape. He kept grabbing at me which is my worst nightmare. I screamed, cried and ran out of the way.

I drew a little picture. I hope this never happens again. For realism sake I added my cuts.

Line of the week: Gourds


Steve at Devon's bday get together.

"Sorry man, I don't mean to be opinionated about gourds."

Steve I say this to you, Have you ever tried the pepper squash? Ummm. Yuummy!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Music to my ears: Karen O and the kids


Karen O of The Yeah Yeah Yeahs is fronting the "Where the Wild Things Are" soundtrack with the newly formed backing band the kids, including members of the Ranconteurs and YYYs.

It's no YYYs but it's still nice, peaceful and streaming here. I think Karen O could be the most interesting performer at the Oscars since Bjork (swan dress) and Dolly (who for some f'd up reason lost to 3-6 mafia.)

By the way I will be defending my Oscar pool championship title at the Beaver again this year. Think you can take me on???? Bring it bitches!!!!!

Thanks to Joni for taking photosof Karen O. I could steal.

This is why I don't touch TTC propery with my bare hands

Ewww, yucky, yucky, yucky

Gross, click here.

I'm all caught up on glee

Yay! Fun! This show is amazing. Ryan Murphy who is one of my favourite television writers/directors/producers has created an amazing new show which rivals the beginnings of his early seasons of Nip/Tuck.



Although I think Alesya Young's version is better than this one of Single ladies. Once I locate a black Calvin Klein onesi of my own I will be doing my own version. Next episode is wednesday

Who's that sexy bitch?

It's Mya Pussy! My favourite Pussy Cakes hasn't made an appearance on the blog for a while and we had a big bonding session today. She takes care of me post fall very well. She is used to it.

So it is only fitting that pussy gets blog love like this.


Every mangled face...

needs a haircut. Thanks Michelle for this today. She got sushi afterwards, she deserved it!


Mya Pussy! Stop checking out my nipples! I have 2, you have 8. I should be checking out yours!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Happy Birthday Aleysa!

Happy Birthday to my newest favourtie Asian, Aleysa.

Here are some reasons why she is fun.

1) She is hilarious and makes me laugh loud, hard and long, often resulting in me getting looks.
2) Her dad is an architect. I really, really like architects.
3) She is sassy and spunky (much like me.)
4) She is a hit with Spaniards.
5) She looks cute in white dresses.
6) She is my favourite girlie TV commercial director, besides me! (I kid.)
7) She a bangin' dancer
8) She is a karaoke superstar.
9) She doesn't plagiarize love poems.
10) She hires a professional choreographer and trains for 2 weeks to do this at his birthday party:

Nuit face plant


If it wasn't evident yet.  I am pretty retarded.  I fell outside of the Gladstone last night and faceplanted into the sidewalk.  I am not impressed with my self.  Also, for some reason when I fall I never put my hands out.  I am going to work on this.

Special thanks to Belle, Michelle, Angie and Rob for being good care takers and to the nice people who scrapped me off the sidewalk.  You are all the best.

I am thankful I am off this week and not going into work with my scarface.  My dad's favourite thing to say to me is "slow down."  After 28 years of not listening.  I think it may be time to listen.

Thankfully my injuries are very minor.  I decided to smile in the photo because it looks nicer.  I am happy about this though.