Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I made pineapple for the first time ever

I really, really like pineapple. You can say that again Mark! I really, really like pineapple! Only in the last year or 2. Tonight I made pineapple for the first time. Never have I done that before. Usually when I get a craving I go to Metro and spend $20 on a fruit tray. Now I am getting serious about debt reduction and that is not an option.Here is a photo of me cutting it, (first cut is the deepest.)


Now here I am holding it like it's a little baby.


And here is a play by play of me eating it.


I ate the whole thing. It was f'n fantastic.

Hot Mess Alert

Check out this sexy Momma.


She looks like a baseball glove that someone dugg up out of the ground. Someone needs to shake her and say stop tanning. Or if you must tan don't forget about your neck.

Check out more funny family photos here. Thanks Nick for showing me the site today. (Nick on a side note, I had to use your computer at work today. You've been sick. I lysol wiped it. Then I washed my hands after using it. No offense. But I don't want to get sick.)

Best line of the week: Cheese shop


By the way. I hate the new header. Gonna practice photoshop and try again.

When walking down Queen Street with a female co-worker today she said:

"Who's the hot guy working in the cheese shop. Oh, wait, that's a lesbian."

I didn't see the worker but she likely was a friend of mine.

Yes, soup for you


All my co-workers are abuzz about a new soup place in the bottom of Metro Hall (King and Duncan.) The Soup Nutsy (stupid name) offers 12 soups per day and you can check out their daily selection before you get there on their website.

I haven't been yet because I am in debt retirement mode but I hear very good things. They even regularly have a beef stroganoff soup with beef, mushrooms and egg noodles. Yummy!

Maybe this friday will be the day.

I don't like it when people call me boss

For awhile now some people of the general public have thought it is cool to call people boss. Like the guy who makes my sandwich. "What do you want boss?" or the cabbie "That's $8 boss." or the milk delivery man "Moooo, boss." I hate this.

a) I am not your boss
b) I am only sometimes a boss to my friend Finlay who freelances for me.
c) I just don't get why people say this.

That's all. I don't like. If I was Chris Rock I would say:

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

New Header

So it's now officially fall.  My glasses fogged up for the first time tonight.  So depressing.  The new fall header marks my first venture with Photoshop still working out some kinks.  Fall means falling leaves, dancing and football.  Hope you enjoy.

Have a super fantastic week!

Love,
Mark

Monday, September 28, 2009

Happy Birthday Katie,

Happy Birthday today to my youngest of five siblings, Katie. This shout out goes long distance way down under to Surfer's Paradise Australia.

I am amazing at remembering people's birthdays. Gold star for me remembering that Katie is a full day ahead so I got this out on Monday.

Here are some reasons I like her.

1) She is the female equivalent of me in the family. (aka Likes the beer, often falls)
2) She has a really easy going. "It doesn't care" type of attitude.
3) Her roomies who I have never spoken too or met are fans of mine. Hubba Hubba! Dance it out bitches!
4) She lives in Australia, I would like to visit and stay for free.
5) She brought Tim Tams home this summer.
6) Is always ready to have a beer in Brantford with me.
7) She is a bombastic kitchen bitch. She makes really good cookies.
8) She got her driver's license before me so she can drive me places when in town.
9) She likes to party, she likes, she likes to party.
10) Her bedroom at home used to be filled with inspiration quotes. Whenever I needed a quiet moment to reflect I found it to be a nurturing refuge. NOT!!!! Let's point fingers and laugh! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
11) Her favourite Disney movie 101 Dalmatians.


Happy 24th Kido!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

This is amazing: Lego Metallica

Check out this stop motion video of lego characters playing Metallica, the attention to detail and shadows in the background is amazing. This must have taken months to do. My favourite is the crowd.



Thanks Michelle for showing me this brilliance.

Last night I danced dirty a lot

Last night at Michelle's fun house warming party and at Asian Monsoon lots of ladies got to experience my heat on the dance floor. Some I knew, some were repeat offenders, some I didn't. Some saw me perform my moves and then asked for a turn themselves.

I can dance very low, like but rubbing close but not touching the floor (that would be dirty.)

Here is a clip of me dancing with one of the lucky ladies.



Hey ladies!

This could've ended badly

Butterfingers!

While about to shoot a video this weekend my brand new beloved iphone slipped out of my hands and became airborne bouncing out of my hands hitting my body 3 times before I caught it. Never have I showed such coordination (which I own none of.) Pretty impressive.



And this also introduces my laugh to the blog. It's really something (not always good.)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Music to my ears: Mika

One of my favourite artists, that no one I know likes, Mika released his new CD "The boy who knew to much" today. It's really good. When you buy on iTunes you get a 2nd full live CD of songs from the new album and his debut. I actually really like the one.

Since no one I likes him, if anyone wants to see him October 22nd at the Sound Academy (Vomit, Vomiit, I hate the Sound Academy.) Let me know. I will go, obvi!

Tickets come to $40.

Here is a song "Blame it on the girls" from the new album

I really want to see this movie



For reals. I don't know why. I don't love Chris Rock but I totally want to see it. So interesting. I guess maybe it's because I have a lot in common with my African sisters.

I'm seeing this movie. I would love to have a reality show that would allow me to find my BBFFF. Black Best Female Friend Forever. I'm gonna pitch it.

Represent!

Congrats Mel


I've been real busy lately. I haven't had a chance to congratulate my group of friends own little sporty spice, Mel H. for winning her first ever team softball championship.

Congrats Melvin!
You make us look like sporty people (although I'm good at Beach volleyball, bump and mini golf, it's the truth!)

This is why I rarely sit on TTC property

I've blogged extensively about how I can get to work (including transferring) without touch any TTC property with my hands. I was sitting on a seat last weekend and a booger fell out of my nose. I didn't want to touch the seat with my bare hands so I left it there. I had a kleenex but I didn't to hold a kleenex with a booger in it after it touched a subway seat. So I left it there.

Yes, Yes, I am an asshole. But this asshole did take a picture of it!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Dance move of the week: Jump

When I come home from work and I'm tired sometimes I jump to get pumped up for the gym.



Almost 10 wardrobe changes and 2 pieces of head gear. I think I may have outdone myself.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Music to my ears: Passion Pit

This weekend seemed to be all about Cambridge. I visited a friend in a town I used to frequent growing up and was driven through the 2.5 years I went to school in Kitchener from 99 to 2001. Then I was introduced to an amazing band from Cambridge, Mass; Passion Pit. I really like them (thanks Robbie!) I really like them.

Sleepyhead


The Reeling, which is also used in Holt's Fall Online campaign.


Really good stuff. Already working on their dance moves of the week! Holla. Stay Tuned!

Best line of the week: First years

My favourite line this week. "Let's freak out the first years."


Happy new school year everyone!

Everyone needs to fit in a vehicle even the very tall

Today in Cambridge, I realized while riding front seat in a 2 door car, that I could fit better with the sunroof ajar. Fun! I drew a little picture of the event. Way to use your noggin Mark!


Being a non-driver any ride is a good ride. I always make do.

Jesus parade

Who knew a Jesus parade would be coming down Bloor Street while shopping with friends saturday.

Check out the Koreans doing a choreographed dance and sing-a-long. I need to have my own kind of sing and dance along on a flatbed trailer down Bloor street.




This was a multi-cultural event, The Italians then drove down the street with a giant box of chocolates with Jesus' name on it.

I guess it's nice to be passionate about something.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Friends who work together stick together

Here are some pics from the Smirnoff party tonight at the Liberty Grand with music by Fritz Helder and the Phantoms and Armand Van Helden.

I hate Smirnoff so I only stayed for 1 free drink.

Ah cute!

Dance Move of the week: Bee Dance

I've been getting swarmed by bees these days. So I decided to come up with with dance.


It came out pretty spazzy but I think I come into my own at the end. I added a bee sound effect throughout.

Skyping with the sister

Tonight I had my first Skype session with my sister, Katie in Australia. It's hard to get a hold of someone who lives half way around the world. In true Craig style we had a beer together. I worked almost 12 hours tonight and she just got up so it was fitting.

Here is a screen grab of a cheers I made us pose for.
Publish Post

She showed me her backyard. Look it's all water in Surfer's paradise. No swimming though. Bull sharks.
This is a bull shark. That's some scary shit.




I think bull sharks are bull shit!

You always make friends with salad


Get it, Simpson's reference.

Check out this glorious lunch from the Metro Hall salad bar that literally made me cream my pants.

It was pricey but so worth it, $14. I usually bring my lunch so it's okay.

Monday, September 14, 2009

I had a super fantastic long weekend

What a great extended weekend. I went to Collingwood, got a massage and hung out with good company at Le Scandinave Spa.

I had a blizzard with my good friends (Cookie Dough, yuummy!)
Made crepes for the first time. I'm actually really good. The thinnest and delicate nature of crepes scared me.


I hung 2 pictures for Michelle, and even matched this one on the right with the one on the left (So manly, who knew?)

I met up with my best childhold friend for a drink, he was in town with his girlfriend who Cirque. They announced their engagement which happened hours earlier and asked me to be in the wedding party.

I went to the Canadian Film Centre's TIFF BBQ where Norman Jewison and Keifer Sutherland spoke. I also saw Denys Archand.

True Blood was amazing, particulary at the half way point. Only 9 months until new episodes and ended the weekend at Salavador Darling's acoustic gospel night.

Now off to get some ZZZsss.

Have a super week everyone.

This is good: The Dr. Oz show

Since at work my daytime TV viewing patterns mirror that of a 40 year old housewife, I am very excited that Oprah's Dr. Specialist, Dr. Oz has his own show this season (CTV, 3pm.)

I learn so much. Like handbags are gross. (My friend Winnie, owns the bag holder the first lady gets.)

I guess the links are not working.

And here is the video for dancing yourself slim.


Then I had to copy.

Happy Birthday Mya Pussy!

Mya celebrated her 8th birthday this week. Happy Birthday my beloved purcocious pussy!

We danced it out. Mya didn't really like it.


Kanye is a retard

Lots of people are talking about this. I don't really like Taylor Swift but it was uncalled for. He is right though, Beyonce's Single Ladies should have won though.

Monkey Mark

Here is a photo of me eating a grape fruit. I look like a monkey. I added a soundtrack to it as well.



Making my parents proud since 1981.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Nobody can resist the pussy



I have multiple friends who are allergic to my dear precious pussy. Meow. Rob, Joni and my sister Laura fit in this group. Last night I came up with a genius idea for friends who are allergic but want nothing more than to stroke my soft, small, delicious, delicate and hairy pussy.

I always carry a supply of food service quality hand gloves for when I cook for others. Hold the germs please. "I can offer these gloves." I thought to those who want to pet my pussy and make it purr.

Now that is one over satisfied pussy!
Puuurrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I love the Dolly

I am on a huge Dolly Parton kick right now. One of my favourite songs of hers though is nowhere to be found on iTunes though. So sad. It's a great song, here is Dolly singing her oscar nominated Travellin Thru at the Oscars 2 years ago. What a great rack! (Mine is better though!)



Dolly lost to "It's hard up here for a pimp." I won't say anything negative.

I watched this clip about 30 times tonight and am 20 minutes late from meeting my childhood best friend for a drink who is town tonight. Oh well, Dolly is a good excuse.

Travel with me,
Mark

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Dance move of the week: iphone ringtones

So I have failed to tell you that I got a new iphone 3GS last weekend. I am obsessed with making ringtones for people. Most are person specific but you can get the gest of my family specific ones.

My parents ringtone.



My sisters ringtone






My brothers ringtone (and Elle's too.)

I guess I wasn't too tired to dance....Oh vey!

I missed all the shows tonight :-(

I worked very late and too tired to time shift. Good thing for VOD. Even better, tomorrow I am going spa-ing at Blue Mountain. Ah yeah! Later Bitches!

Can I just say that little Angie Bird is enormously amazing


Look what one of the city's most talented art directors created, I make a supporting guest role. Click the link for the moving gif.

And is it just me or do my legs make crazy "J" curves when I stand straight? I have always thought this but is it just me or everyone else. It doesn't seem right.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Congrats to CC!


My big sis, Carloyn Craig (aka CC, I am the only one who calls her this so it's fun) has launched a website for her bakery in the Kootenay region of B.C. Check this shit out.

If you live in the Kootenays or are visiting, hit Carolyn up for a cake or visit Evergreen Natural Foods and Cafe. All organic, baked from scratch.

This is one proud baby brother!

Check out the site here.

Boy, cake makes me weak in the knees! Yuummmmy!

TV night

Yay! TV is back over the coming weeks.

Tomorrow (Wednesday night) marks 2 shows I am very excited about. America's Next Top Model and one of the most buzzed about shows this season, Fox's Glee created by Nip/Tuck's Ryan Murphy (He is amazing.) Plus, at 10pm the remake of my favourite slutty prime time soap growing up, Melrose Place. I hope it lives up to Kimberly pulling of a wig and having big scars. That was messed up. It aired over 10 years ago and I still remember it.



Check out the previews below:








I think Wednesday is my new TV night meaning, Gym ASAP after work. Mya Pussy get ready for ready cuddily couch time tomorrow bitch!

This is good: Hello Halloumi


Yuuuummmmmmy!!!! Last last I had dinner with my 3 favourite friends whose names rhyme, Mel, Isobeele and Elle.

Belle made fried Halloumi as a started. Halloumi is a greek cheese made from sheep's milk that can be fried and doesn't melt. Yum, Yum, Yum! At one point I thought I may have orgazismed.

I really, really do love cheese. Cheese Magic in Kensignton Market sells this shit.


Hellllllloooooo Halloumi!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Friday Falls: Picnic tables

You think this old dude would know better.



and here is a bonus. I pretty much did the same as this kid 2 weeks ago.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Dance move of the week: Covergirl

This one goes out to Butch Cassidy. I'm a little tired and only did one rehearsal. It is what it is.
Enjoy. ANTM starts Wednesday! Stay Tuned for my picks.


Now this is a bargain: Urban outfitters

Urban Outtfitters is having a 50% off what's already on sale sale this week.

I picked up my favourite, collar bone exposing T-Shirts.

Here is a grey and white scoop neck


a raspberry v-neck
and a peach v-neck.
This one is a little too scandalous for work. It's a little thin and there is definate nipple action going on.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Now this is a bargain: Ben and Jerrys

Yum Yum Yummy! Ben and Jerry's ice cream is only $3.99 at Shopper's Drug Mart until September 11. Man, I love ice cream. Sorry those of you who are latose-intolerant.

Ben and Jerry's is 47% fat. That's kind of gross so only eat a little. Moment on the lips, life time on the hips.