Sunday, July 19, 2009

My speech...


was a hit. Here it is .

Hi,

I’m Dave’s taller, funnier, more attractive, more fall-ically (foilicaly) blessed younger brother, Mark. I will make this short and sweet so that I personally can start dancing and drinking sooner.

Dave has always been the sporty and athletic child in the Craig household. When I was younger I tried to be sporty like Dave, as most younger brothers look up to their siblings but he always made me the bat boy when his friend’s would play baseball, so I am now 28 years old and still throw like a girl and have Dave to thank for that.

Dave also made things easier for me growing up in the Craig house hold when he and fellow groomsman Tim were caught by the cops knocking lights off a chip wagon. Dave was brought home in a cop car and had to wake my mom up so the cops could inform her of what they did. This made me look like an angel at that time. Thanks guys.

When Dave was younger he also was a germaphobe much like me. My mom dropped him off at school, he was in kindergarten. Dave found out his friend Jon got sick from the teacher and the next thing you know, Dave is running down the street as my mom drove away from the school. He has since grown out of the germophobe state. I have not.

Dave has done pretty well for himself in his short lifetime. He owns a car, a house, has a teaching career and now a beautiful bride.

Ainsley, is now a part of our large family. Well after the immediate family hit 12 people our criteria for family acceptance got more lenient. It seems we let anyone in now. I’m just kidding. Ainsley is a welcome addition and fits in amazingly with the family. Anyone who can handle my drunken holiday dinner rants and doesn’t run screaming away is A-Okay by me. So Ainsley I welcome you to the family and I am happy to now call you my sister, I wear medium sweaters, preferably striped and my waist size is 34, please keep that in mind.

It’s also been nice getting to know my fellow groomsmen. In high school Dave’s friend’s kind of scared me from stories of debauchery I’ve heard but after the last few months of wedding activities they’re actually not that bad. I expected someone was going to be taken away to the hospital at the bachelor party or there would atleast be major property damage. But I was back at Dave’s by quarter to one. Even, my brother Tim’s bachelor party with his lame PHD friends was more wild than that. And Dave’s friend’s are actually not that scary. So if you are scared like I once was once, I have been to the other side people, I can tell you they don’t bite. They’re actually really nice. Introduce yourselves later if you haven’t already.

Okay, I’m starting to think of dancing again. Wrap it up. Wrap it Up.

So, Dave, thank you for asking me to be one of your groomsmen tonight and although, when you first asked me I joking said “I would prefer not too.” It’s been a great experience and so nice to be in the wedding party, especially with Tim, my cuter than cute nephews Ian and Ben and my beautiful sisters. Dave, you deserve all the happiness and joy you have before you and I look forward to watching It all unfold. So if everyone could please raise their glasses to happy couple. Cheers. Congratulations and All the best Dave and Ainsley.

Thanks all,
xoxo
Gossip Guy.

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