Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I prefer to call it grandular fever

Sorry for the lack of posts recently I have been suffering from the mono. How embarrassing. Doing everything in my power to not allow germs into my life ends up with suffering from a teenage viral infection. I should be back to 100% and back to work on Monday. If you would like to send presents or cash to help me get through this illness contact me for more info.

Mono is an untreatable infection caused by the Epstein-Barr virus. These are the symptoms:

  • Fever (natural immune system response) - Oh yes, I had this.

  • Painful & sore throat I want to cry everytime I swallow. I can finally drink okay, eating no.

  • Chronic fatigue - I'm very, very sleepy

  • Stiffness in the neck and shoulders - Yep, I thought I injured myself at the gym

  • Night sweats, soaked sheets - Oh yes, the laundrymat lady must think I'm a bed wetter

  • Painful swallowing and a loss of appetite - Yep, I eat nothing but popsicles.

  • Restlessness and body aches from lack of exercise - None of this yet.

  • Nausea and vomiting - None of this yet.

  • Feeling of depression, suffering and being miserable - I don't need mono to feel this way.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

This looks kind of gross

McDonalds is now offering a Mac snack wrap to it's menu. It looks kind of gross.

Music to my ears: MskrKrft and Metric

This week the new CDs previewing on are new offerings from Metric and MskrKrft. Both are very good.

Check them out here.

Sicky poo

No posts the last few days because I have been sick. I had the flu without the cough or runny nose. The pains, night sweats and aches are gone but now I have a minor throat infection which it seems like antibiotics are cleaning up nicely.

Monday, March 16, 2009

How to get your ass kicked in 1977

Check out this it's hilarious. Thanks to my cousin and dirty dance partner Kendra for sending it in.
JC Penny had your back in 1977. Even I wouldn't wear this striped combo and check out those sexy yellow pleats. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

As you emerged from the birth canal, what song was playing on the radio

Click here to find out what song was number on the day you were born. If you would like to check another special date in life, that's okay too.

Mine is Eddie Rabbit's I love a rainy night

Had I waited the extra 7 weeks I was pre-mature for it would have been.
Shenna Easton's - morning train

I feel like my mom should be doing dishes dancing to CKPC 1380AM. Feel free to use the comment section to list your own song.

I think I'm starting something big

Last week Tracey Morgan appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Falon complete with snuggie in toe.

The last time something like this happened was over 3 years ago when I moved to Ossington Street in Toronto and the whole city followed.

Keith's White, It's just alright

Alexander Keith's debuted it's new unfiltered white beer last week. White beer is my most favourite type of beer such varieties as Rickard's White, Hoegarrden and Blanche du Chambly. Unfortunately this new Keith's offering is my least favourite. It's still okay but leaves citrus and spice flavours it's counterparts have to be desired. I would spend my money on Rickard's White. It's a few cents cheaper too.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Mark sings at Church

Check out the talented Angie Bird's photoshop techniques as Mark in a Snuggie makes an appearance in Church.

This picture is funny because I never sing in church my God loving grade 4 Catholic School teacher, Mrs. Api Stagger told me I had a bad voice and should only move my lips to the words. Very Christain-like she was.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Dance move of the week: The Snuggie

Who knew you could fit so much stuff in the pockets. Also I was having a bit of a wardrobe malfunction with the one shoulder. I would've tried to do it some more but I was getting too hot.

That's not my name

Yesterday at Utopia (Yummy, Yummy, my favourite restaurant) a friend of a friend was sitting beside me. He mistakenly and cutefully thought my name was Mickey. It was sincere and made me laugh.

What I should have responded was:

They call me 'Mel'
They call me 'Mickey'
They call me 'him'
They call me 'James'
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name

They call me 'quiet'
But I'm a riot
Always the same
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name

(I switched the lyrics to the Tings Tings song.) Here is the video to the right version, it's a great song:


This dude seems to be enjoying this hilariously shaped cactus a little too much. Thanks Elle for sending it in!

A note to ladies waiting to board the bus

I don't know why I think the below statement is hilarious but I love it. I think any time a bus, elastic and panties are in the same sentence it makes for a good time.

Should elastic break, step out of panties and continue to board the bus.

New bat for lashes

I love this band. Here is the single off her forthcoming new album. Always great videos.

Daniel - Bat For Lashes

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

She often falls too

Yesterday I was on my way home from Brantford and riding the escalator up Ossington station, my neighbourhood subway station. This cute old lady fell into my suitcase while walking up the escalator. She said "Sorry, good thing for your suitcase." I replied "Ewww. Gross old lady get off my belongings and stop drooling on my suitcase."

Actually, that's a lie. She did fall but I said "That's okay lady, I often fall." She replied "Me too, it's only going to get worse for you as you age." "Oh brother" I replied.

Picture it like this, although she fell walking up and my suitcase broke her fall.


Tonight I was minding my business watching America's Next Top Model while snuggled in my snuggie. At the end of the coach I felt a foreign object in between my feet. What could said object be, I thought as I rolled it in between my feet. Perhaps a pen cap or bottle cap I thought. Mya likes to travel with these. No, it was actually a shit turd from Mya Pussy. I yelped. Grabbed a tissue and flushed said turd. I then removed my socks, the futon cover and the snuggie and made last call at the coin laundry across the street. Thank goddness. Mya occasionaly has a problem with shit sticking to her fur.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Terroni Tuesday

Yummy! Tonight 2 co-workers took me out for a belated birthday dinner to Terroni. The Italian restaurant has a few locations in the GTA. I like the food but have always been somewhat unsatisfied with the service. You get one slice of bread per guest to dip in Olive and Vinegar. We didn't even get the vinegar. The menu offers numerous pastas and pizzas but tells patron's to obey the menu so they can offer fast and efficient service meaning no subsititutes or asking to hold the whatever.

A lady was sitting beside us all night saying that her daughter and husband were joining her. She was nice but we started to get the feeling she was there to pick up waiters. Then she pre-ordered fod for 3 people. It came before they got there. She remarked "Ha Ha Ha, that was fast. That was so fast it's funny, hilariously funny!" She was a bit nuts. Her "family" eventually came.

Since they serve you your food five minutes after you order it, it's hard to believe they don't allow subsituting. On the way out my co-worker, Monica noticed a shirt for sale that said "We don't do that." She asked if it refered to subsituting. I said no it means Customer Service - We don't do that.

Brit flashes her privates yet again

Britney Spears flashed the crowd her whoha at her show in Miami this weekend. Brit Brit haven't you learned. You wear something like this...
Chances are likely your not so small Brit Box will be hanging out. Watch the video to hear her complain about the breath of fresh air she got.

Monday, March 9, 2009

You know what they say about big families....

...they need big dining room tables, BAHAHA!!
Here is a family photo I found while also uploading photos for my parents (I am a fabulous son.)

left to right: My brother, Tim; his wife Marcia; My parents Willy and Phil; My brother Dave and his finace Ainsley; Me and my sisters, Laura and Katie.

We are still missing 5 people yo. My sister Carolyn, her partner Alan and their baby Aven and Tim and Marcia's kids Ian and Ben. From all early accounts everyone agrees that the tall drink of water, third from the right is pretty cute.

No offense but Brantford is kind of boring

I love my hometown of Brantford, but it is not so much fun. I have found myself the last 2 nights drinking alcohol slowly in hopes that I would pass out quickly for the evening. Seeing my sister Carolyn and nephew Aven has been fun (when Aven likes me) but they go to bed 10 and 7 respectively. I don't even reach my night time prime until 10pm-ish.

Today I walked from my the place my sister was getting her dress altered to Dairy Queen for a post birthday milkshake and bought undershirts at Wal-Mart. I highly reccommend undershirts. Keep the sweat off your sweaters (perferably striped.) I also set up my parent's digital photo frame and installed their new camera on to the computer. I also have to do the tech work at my parent's house. I don't mind. My other job and I do excel at it is scooping ice cream. I am kind of a self taught pro at that.

I also caught up on Project Runway Canada and The United States of Tara. Now since it's midnight and the slow sipping of warm wine hasn't done the trick so I am about to settle in for some East Bound and Down which I hear is also good.

Since I uploaded over 300 pictures to my parent's computer today here is a cute one of me and my mom in my brother's soon to be in-law's kitchen. Look at all that sauce on the counter. Sauce is one of my top ten favourite foods.

Sharing birthdays, all in the name of pieces

Here is the best photo of one year old Aven and I about to blow out our birthday candle. Aven doesn't like me as much as I like him. This is the reason why he is my third favourite nephew. My newphew's Ian and Ben welcome me with much more open arms then Aven but we were able to keep the peace for a few moments for this one shot.

Meet the snuggie

No more fumbling for the phone while trying to stay warm. Sporting events are no reason to shiver either.

Here is another look at the classic informercial as well.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Must Read: Things that might kill you

I am completely a total psychopath, I admit it. Especially when it comes to germs, illness and diease. For my birthday my friend Michelle got me a Book called The Complete Manual of things that might kill you: A Guide to self-diagnosis for Hypochondriacs. I am a total hypochondriac. In my short life I have thought that I've had at least 12 different kinds of cancer, all the hepatitis, flesh eating diease, lupus, malaria and menagitis to name a few.

The book lists symptoms such as "If you have a rash you may have Lyme Diease." or "If you are trembling you may have Warrington's Diease." It defines the diease, Tells you who to book an appointment with, Symptoms, Progression, Treatment, Contagion, Pain, Suffer and the Falaty rate. I have slammed the booked closed 5 times today while screaming thinking I have caught yet another diease. My own doctor, even before this told me that I was not allowed to go on google to reseach my ailments as I was driving both he and myself crazy.

So far I think I may have Restless Leg Syndrome, Toxoplasmosis, Endocartitis, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and Gerstman's Syndrome.

The back of the book states: "You are going to die of something - Why not choose an ailment that is rare and hard to pronounce?"

Happy birthday to me!

I'm 28 and feelin' great!

Thanks to everyone for the warm bday wishes and those who came out partying. Thanks to those who went beyond the call and bought me presents. I got a wide variety of items. A beautiful spring jacket that unfortunately my long gorilla arms didn't fit in. Lots of clothes as well, some very revealing, let's just say I got an important part of a costume for a cowboys and Native American party coming up in a couple weeks. Some very unrevealing, OMG!!! The Messecar's got me a Snuggie after reading about it on my blog. Look at me wearing it! I'm using my parent's webcam and as Ja'mie King would say it's just crap but the snuggie itself is amazing. I could preach the good word on street corners.

I'll take some higher quality pics of me and Mya Pussy using the Snuggie in action later this week. It was a great weekend especially ending it off with sharing the day with my Nephew, Aven who is from B.C. and turns 1 soon and ichating with my sister Katie, who is in Australia for the next year.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Finally: A Dance Move of the Week

The Apache has always been my favourite dance but unfortunately being vomitably uncoordinated has never made it look quite hot. I am turning 28 soon (kind of a big deal.) So I thought I would do the dance that brings me so much pleasure although I don't pull it off so well.

As always I don't take myself too seriously so that's fun.

New song avaiable from the Switch

My 3 favourite baby mama's band has uploaded a live recording of my third favourite song to their Myspace page. It's called Scream (I think, I refer to it as the instrumental.) It's really good and would be perfect for so many movie trailers. My brain is ticking.

What I really would like is for my number 1 favourite money beach to be available and then my number 2 favourite strange. C'mon Joni with your little Cure lips...Add more songs. You can do it! nn (Mya just typed the double 'N' by walking across the keyboard. I'm gonna keep them there because it's cute.)

Anyhows, check it out. Also check them out March 25 at the Rivoli.

There ain't no Tory in Tories


Provincial Tory leader John Tory lost his by-election tonight in Lindsay, Ontario way up in Cottage Country. Tory has been the leader of the Ontario PC party for the last 17 months but hasn't had a sit in the legislature. Way to go John! Keep reaching for that rainbow!


One lucky son of a gun

This dude in Turkey got hit by both a train and truck at the same time. This is something that would happen to me. I am hoping for the same outcome.

This was my 700th post. That's fun.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Day 9, still very gross

Here is a finger nail update. Still gross but no nails have been lost as of yet.

It's tax time yo

Here is a tip during this shitty economy. Do your taxes yourself with they make it so easy and I got a nice return back. You can also netfile your return straight from the website and get your return back in as little as 8 days. It's less than 15 bones too.

It's my birthday week

Tonight marked the beginning of my birthday celebrations. What better way to welcome 28 (kind of a big deal) and say goodbye to 2007 than with a new haircut.Michelle as always did another really cute job!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


I am pretty amazing. My co-workers are often beside themselves with how fast I can complete walking tasks. This I walked to Tim Hortons, it's 2 blocks away and ordered 2 coffees, a BELT and a donut and made it back to work walking both up and down 4 flights of stairs in 6 minutes and 57 seconds.

Take a moment....

Try to breathe. Pretty amazing huh? That is quite quick. The time has been posted on a white board and I will try to break the record the next time I go.

I do have to thank Tim Hortons for their quick service and of course my parents for my long, muscular legs that go on forever. ;-)

Oh Pussy!

Check out this cat from New Hampshire. I don't think he is that scary. I would love him. I also don't like how his name is Ugly Bat Boy. Give a pussy a chance.

One more sleep: ANTM premieres tomorrow

One of the only television shows I still regularly watch. America's Next Top Model Cycle 12 premieres tomorrow on the CW and on 'A' here in Canada. Look for crazy Tranny Tyra to make a grand gladiator entrance. That bitch gets crazier every cycle.