Saturday, February 28, 2009

Yummy: I love 3 Musketeers

3 Musketeers are by far my most favourite chocolate bar. Yummy! Yummy chocolately nougat wrapped in chocolate. You can't go wrong. A lot of people unfortunately forget about the greatness of 3 Musketeers when selecting a chocolatey corner store treat. It used to give me headaches as a kid but these have since gone away as well.

To learn more about the bar, nougat and everything else you wanted to know about 3 Musketeers. Click here.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Friday Falls: Fri Feb 27

Umbrella-ella-ella. Today I hit my self in the face with my umbrella while doing up my jacket. I know have a fat lip. In honour of this lets listen to Rhianna's Umbrella and watch drunk people roll around in the mud whilst falling.



Not the best, I've been busy but atleast it's something.

No new apartment for me

So the apartment I wanted is zoned by the city as affordable housing and I make too much money to be welcomed in. Funny that I currently pay over $200 less in my current pad. I will search again in the spring.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Day 5, so gross

So it's been 5 days since I destroyed my finger nails. Here is a sexy current update:So hot. As Oprah says back don't crack. Unfortunately this black is gonna crack and look ugly. Boo hoo hoo!

My birthday list

Today I sent the following to my mom. I am a simple guy when it comes to presents:

Hi Mom,

Please see below my birthday list:

1) White crew-neck undershirts
2) dark green cordoroys (34/34)
3) Salad Spinner with non slip bottom
4) a medium sized non stick pan
5) Gym Shorts (just basic ones, but they should do all the right things to all the right places.)
6) White low cut socks in big and tall size 13
7) Cash

Yours through birth,
Mark


I will likely only get socks and undershirts but you know what they say. "It's the thought that counts."

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Happy Birthday Ainsley

Yesterday was my soon to sister-in-law Ainsley's birthday. Let count the ways we like her:

1) She is voluntary marrying my brother Dave, that is amazing!
2) She will be the closest sibling in age to me.
3) She is an interior decorator, those are good people to know.
4) She makes good potatoes. I love potatoes.
5) She is a big fan of So You Think You Can Dance Canada. So am I!
6) She gets along with my entire family, including me (sometimes I can be a bit much so that is good.)

Happy Birthday Ainsley!

Now more importantly my birthday is a week Sunday. Please mark your calendars. Sunday March 8. I'll be 28, kind of a big deal!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I have been outdone

Check out the head of Amazon.com's laugh from the Daily Show last night. I saw it last night and was all "WTF?" Check out this link.

I do now have a better understanding of what people think when they hear me for the first time.

Monday, February 23, 2009

This must have been an arranged marriage

Fredia Pinto who played Latika in Slumdog Millionaire was secretly to this guy. Ewwww.

Internet reports now say she is with her co-star Dev Patel. A much better choice.

And the winner is.......Me!!!

Last night I went a bar to watch the Oscars and I won the Oscar pool. My prize was a gift certificate for HMV which I bought the final performance of Rent with. I love winning.

This is hot

So yesterday I opened my windows to let some air into my apartment. The ones in my living room were frozen open. After about 20 minutes of Tobi-ing the window to help defrost it and pushed with all my might slamming the window on 2 of my fingers. I fell to the ground and started screaming in pain. Then with the screenless window now open again from the force of slam (they close side to side) Mya Pussy tried to make a dash out the window. I slammed the window closed again with my bad had and it hurt some more. It's all but certain I have killed both finger nails. So not hot. Even sexier it is very likely they will crumble and fall off.

Here they are minutes after the trauma.
and here they are 24 hours later:

I'll update this crappy situation as details develop.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

It hurts to type

No posts today. :-(

I'll explain tomorrow.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Mark and the reg


I'm dog sitting Reggie this weekend. We used to be roomies so it's all good times. I love the son of a bitch. I forgot to shut my bedroom door though and now their is dirt from our long walk all over my bed. I cleaned it up and good thing tomorrow is laundry day. I was trying to get Mya Pussy and Reggie to pose for a family pic but this is as good as I could do. Mya jumped away just before the shot.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Now this is a bargain: No Frills $1 Sale

It's one of the most exciting times of the year. No Frills yearly 2 week $1 sale. Too many things to mention just get your ass down there.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I think I'm going to move

A friend of mine is rooming out of her apartment. It's really nice and has a deck on the 4th floor. I think I may move in.



Here are my pros and cons so far.



Pros
- Bigger
- Balcony Deck
- Closer to gym and friends



Cons
- It's not as close to the subway
- It's $200 more
- It's 4 flights up, no elevator

Obama-rama


Today I spent the day watching Barrack Obama in Canada on CP24. I really like Barrack Obama. He has great body language. He looked happy to meet people and also looked interested in what they were saying. The videos of him waving to people outside of Parliament or buying cookies from a store were awesome.


It's also super nice to see the general public put so much support behind a good leader. It also gives hope to us in Canada that one day we may have a leader like this. Stephen Harper looked geeky and lame compared to him.

Ching Ching!

Woo Hoo. I got a call from HR department saying that I haven't been recieving my increases as I should have been. So tomorrow's pay cheque is going to be a nice one. It totally has paid for my trip to Cuba in April. Bow chicka wow wow.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Valentines from Nephews

Today I got Valentines in the mail from my favourite nephews. This was fun. Check them out. Ian got me a Transformer Animated Optimus Prime Card and Ben got me an Incredibles one.

Aven my only other nephew who is 11 months old tomorrow will get a stern talking to about forgetting Unky Mark this Valentines Day when he comes from B.C. for my birthday next month. Thanks again Ian and Ben for showing the love.

Shitballs

On Sunday I was at a party and I said for some reason "shitballs" a word I commonly use (I think I picked it from a friend.) This girl beside me mouth dropped, her hand grabbed me arm, she said "Did you just say shitballs?, my mom says that. I have never heard anyone else say that.

I kept calling this lady Amanda, I think her name was Anna or some shit. I am getting bad with names as I age. I am turning into my father. He is very bad with names, once he called my brother's wife Marica, Monica. What makes this even more funny is that it was around the same time as everybody's favourite President blower, Monica Lewinsky was in the news.

Not sure what shitballs means? Here are the Urban Dictionary's listings. Number 3 is pretty gross but also pretty funny.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Marcia and Mark's oscar movie marathon madness

Today my sister-in-law and I did a yearly "Marcia's and Mark Oscar Movie Madness Marathon." It was good. We saw The Reader and Slumdog Millionaire. The Reader was all right. Kate Winslet was good but the sixteen year old she sleeps around with was the best actor in the film. This was a depressing movie illiteracy, Nazis, the whole love story part was a bit weird. Such a sad story. It reminded me a little of Dancer in the dark which I love and think is the saddest movie ever.

We saw the Reader at the Silvercity in Oakville which was only showing the movie in their VIP section, which meant assigned seating and nice big reclining leather seats. It was nice but cost about $5 more a ticket per seat. Marcia paid cause she is a nice sugar momma like that.

I have already seen Slumdog and loved it. Look for it to sweep the Oscars in a week.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

New passport photo

2 things I hate about passport photos is how you can't smile and how they make me take off my glasses. I look mad and mean. Not cool.

Friday, February 13, 2009

New striped sweater alert

I love my stripes, I always have.

This is good: New Doritos

Doritos in Canada now have a new flavour but it's help naming it. You can earn $25,000 if you come up with the right name. I tired some today. They were good, the ingredients show 4 cheeses, onion and buttermilk (commonly used to make ranch dressing.) So I think it's a cheesy oniony ranch type flavour. I will come up with something better soon. Look for this bag in stores.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Not this is a bargain: Cha Cha Cha Charmin

Charmin 8 double rolls $4.44 at Loblaws (and probably Zehrs) this week.

I've said it once, I will say it again....This toilet paper really is the shit.

First response to a friday falls

This is so awesome. So you embed a video from You Tube the owner from the video can see where exactly you posted it on the web. I got a message today from the faller of last Friday's fall. It read:

Haha, oh that me... It's hard to hear what my friend is saying but it's Dan Rodgers (not Ben).

Ha ha Ha! I will not change his name in my post I like Ben Rogers better!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Down with ticketmaster

A class action law suit has been started against Ticketmaster and their sketchy online auction site Ticketsnow.com by 2 Canadian lawfirms.

I despise ticketmaster, I have despised them in this very blog before. Tickets now is a fairly new site where ticketmaster puts tickets they could have sold on their normal website or where scalpers go to auction off tickets. It's illegal, unfair and wrong.

If you bought tickets from ticket master or tickets now after Feb 9, 2007 you may be eligible for the class action lawsuit.

Click here to sign up.

To ticket master alls I gots to say is: Suck it bitches!

I hope it works.

MIA rules

MIA, one of my favourites performed at the Grammy Awards with Kanye West, TI, Jay-Z and Lil' Wayne. My baby momma performed on her due date. That's amazing. When asked why she performed while ready to pop, She said the baby wants to be on stage with TI and Lil' Wayne. Awesomeness.

What a nice day

I didn't even see the rain, if it happened that forecasters were projecting for today. It's 11:30pm and I am in a T-Shirt with the windows open. Ya Bitches! This is nice. The weather will be nice until throughout most of February with temperatures dropping below zero for the first time on Saturday and then hovering around 0 degrees until February 24th. I'll take that.

If you have the February blahs, here are my tips to beat them:
1) drink alcohol, you're forget about you're blahs.
2) exercise, if you are going to be depressed you might as well look good.
3) watch reality TV, some of those people are way more messed up then you.
4) be happy if you have a job, the economy is shit. If you lost your job proceed to #5.
5) try to find a new job.

Monday, February 9, 2009

George Michael pulls a bale

Michael Cera is awesome. He "pulls" a Christian Bale on the set of his new film.

Why gay guys shouldn't do the weather

Hot mess alert

Lily Allen's new CD drops Tuesday. It's previewing here on spinner. It's actually pretty good and less annoying then the last one. The drunken british hot mess has a hit on her hands.

Another joke (this one is not as good)

What does the hooker do when she first wakes up?

Checks her whore-o-scope.


He he he (not quite a Ha Ha Ha)

Rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent

My favourite musical and probably the only one I really like is now out on DVD (the stage version) after Christopher Columbus destroyed the movie adaptation. Getting the guy who directed Home Alone to direct a gritty rock musical is a stupid idea.

I am gonna pick this up this week. HMV carries it. Probably all other big movie stores as well.

It's the plays last show on Broadway after 12 years and 4 Tonys. I've seen it in Toronto twice.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Best dirty joke I've heard in a long time


If you don't like c-words for female body parts move on. It's dirty but so funny.


What did the tampon say to the other tampon?


Answer: Nothing they were both stuck up cunts!


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Saturday, February 7, 2009

One week tonight

Just one week from tonight is when my 3 favourite ladies and Graeme (he is nice too) of The Switch take to the stage at the Reverb. I'll be there.

I can score you upfront tickets for $10, otherwise it's 13 at the door. This will be the first time they play money beach, a song that is named after a beach in B.C. that everytime I went swimming I found $20s floating in the river. It's my new favourite.

Check out the Switch here.

This is a little fun

Thanks Baby bird for sending this in.

Friday Falls: Fri Feb 6

(It's a day late I know, I've been busy.) Here is a fall comparable to one I just had, although I didn't hit the ground and I wasn't trying to slip.



Oh, that Ben Rogers!

Things I am thankful for today

1) The weather
2) That my windows are open
3) Long legs for jumping over puddles
4) That I didn't fall when I slipped on a foreign object on the road. It was a close one (I often fall.)
5) Herbal tea
6) Mya (I always am thankful for her, even though she just barfed on the carpet.)

Friday, February 6, 2009

Eating popcorn with your tongue

A co-worker today yelled at me for eating popcorn with my tongue. It sticks, I eat doritos the same way. My parents used to get mad at me for eating with my tongue as well. Also they didn't like when I licked my ice cream bowl or dessert plate.

I look at it as not getting your hands dirty. I think it's smart.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

WTF: 2 Dollarama

Dollarama, the buck store we all love now sells items for from $1-$2. That's bullshit. Inflation's a bitch.

It's gonna be an early morning

Tomorrow I am up at the crack of dawn of 5:30am for a work shoot. Since I am notorious for sleeping in I have set a total of 8 alarms (3 on each of my cell phones which stay in the kitchen so I have to get up to actually shut them off and my 2 bed side ones.) They are set for between 5:30 and 6am. I am sure my neighbours will love me.

We are shooting on a hockey rink and I am just praying that this doesn't happen to me.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

More vending machine grossness

Okay, now I am obsessed. There are also french fry, pizza and hamburger vending machines out there now. Gross, yucky, yuck!

Monday, February 2, 2009

The United States of Tara

Tonight I caught the first 2 episodes of Showtime's new series, The United States of Tara. Toni Collette, who I love plays Tara, a mom who has multiple personalities. It was kind of weird but since it's only 30 minutes long I think I will continue watching.

Tara so far has turned into T, a 15 year old bad ass, Buck, a trailer trash man who kicked the shit out of her daughter's boyfriend and Alice, who is comparable to Bree on Desperate Housewives. Steven Speilberg is the Executive Producer and it is written by Diablo Cody, the stripper turned Oscar winner for Juno. It airs on TMN in Canada.

Ewwww

Today at the location scout for my hockey mom shoot on Thursday, the arena at a vending machine for hot dogs. Isn't that repulsive. The machine said that it cooks the wiener toasts the bun and then cleans the machine after each cooking.

It still seems gross.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

People should people when thier toques are

Last night it was my sidekick at works birthday party. All the pictures got uploaded to facebook today and my toque is crooked in every freaking photo. People should tell people when toques are crooked.
I love this picture none the less. It's me with my 2 favourite female co-workers past (right) and present (centre). Also at the party another co-worker vomited into an ice bucket that was on the table we were at. She also vomited on someone's hat. Asians shouldn't binge drink!

I love ellen

This is hilarious. Thanks Flay!

Super Sunday


The Superbowl is on right now and I couldn't give a shit. I'm not watching it.