Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Top Album of 2008: #3, 2 and 1

Okay I am getting bored of this. Here are my final picks and complete list:
#1 CSS, Donkey - My favourite Brazilian band came back with a great album with 3 of my favourite songs of the year, Left Behind, Move and Believe Achieve. Sadly their hulla hoops and cat suits didn't get thier visas in time to play Toronto last month.

#2 Wolf Parade, At Mount Zoomer - Montreal indie rockers never fail to impress. This is good all purpose and morning music.
#3 The Ting Tings, We Started Nothing - The boy/girl british duo had one of the best pop albums of the year. My favourites include: That's not my name, Shut up and let me go and We Walk.

#4 Fleet Foxes, Fleet Foxes
#5 - Radiohead, In Rainbows
#6 Portishead, Third
#7 - MGMT, Ocular Spectacular
#8 Girl Talk, Feed the Animals
#9 - Bon Iver - For Emma, For Ever Ago
#10 - Lykke Li - Youth Novels

The only other honourable mention I have to tell you about is Natasha Bedingfield, Pocket full of sunshine. I have no shame. I like it.

I hope you enjoyed the list and found some new music. I won't do a big list like this again. Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Happy Belateds

Happy Belated Birthdays Winnie and Bonnett!!!!

Winnie got Utopia for dinner tonight. My favourite neighbourhood causal dining restaurant. Bonnett is getting dinner next week but I forget where we decided.

Yesterday I was supposed to meet co-workers at Utopia for lunch (they are working, I am not, Ha Ha Ha!) They canceled because they were feeling holiday fat. I didn't take it so well. You do not dangle Utopia in front of face and then take it away. I don't respond well to that.

Tips for Utopia
1) It's small, do not come in groups larger than 4 (2 is even better!)
2) You can get 1/2 fries and 1/2 salad. Yum! Just ask. The fries are awesome.
3) Even their cheap red wine is still good and worth the price.
4) Try the burgers first, then move on to the delicious burritos.
5) If it's winter and you have to wait for a table. Be mindful of the door, the draft gets cold.
6) Enjoy yourself. It's soooo Yummy and cheap!!!!!


What do you think of this?

Enjoying a snack while staying snugly warm could be nice. I would prefer a blanket with a hood. I would get sage green. The red looks too much like Buddhist Monks.

This is 100% absolutely, completely vomitable

Ewww! Yucky, yuck, yuck!

Last night while waiting for a friend's girlfriend to come down to the lobby of her building, a bum asked for a buck. I thought a had a buck then I checked. I didn't. I did have 20s in my wallet. He saw them and then asked for a 5. I didn't give it to him.

I hate when bums go for the hand shake. I am also disappointed that my gloves were in my pocket so I had to bare hand touch the gross bum. He shook Belle's hand as well she was wearing gloves. She was lucky. After the bun left Belle said "Dude, he had warts all over his hands." I almost barfed. Then I demanded immediate hand washing, of course using the other hand to pump the soap not to contaminate.

Later that night, As I was leaving Ted's Collision (where they sell big bottles of Bud for $7, like twice the size of a beer, yes I know Bud is kind of gross.) I saw the bum shake 2 smoker girl's hands. I reported such warts and they almost barfed on me. I suggested immediate hand washing. They smartly obeyed.

Top Albums of 2008: #4

Oops. Me being me only included 9 albums on my original list of the top ten so I get to bump an honourable mention up, here goes:

#4 Fleet Foxes, Fleet Foxes

The Washington, D.C. band had great a first studio album which is a total throw back to 70s rock. It reminds me of CKPC radio playing in my parent's kitchen growing up. I love it.Honourable Mentions:
Crystal Castles, Crystal Castles - A great electronic album by the guy/girl duo named after She-ra's home. From Toronto.
Cut Copy, In Ghost Colours - Aussie band from the virgin mobile commercial had a great, fun dance record this year.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

This is good: Summer heights high

After hearing a lot of word of mouth about this show I have finally got in to Summer Heights High on HBO Canada.

The show is from Australia and is a mockumentary about a shockingly gay drama teacher, a rich popular private school transfer and a Polynesian special education punk. All 3 are played remarkable well by Australian character actor, Chris Lilley.

Here is a short video of each character:

Mr. G, the drama teacher,

Ja'mie, the popular "pretty" girl

Jonah, The special ed student

It airs Sundays at 11pm on HBO Canada and on demand with TMN on demand.

You're welcome

Top Albums: #5

#5 - Radiohead, In Rainbows

My partner is lazy eyeness Thom Yorke and mates came back with a great CD with not one bad song. My favourites: All I need, Bodysnatchers, 15 steps, House of Cards and one of my most favourite of the year, Reckoner.

More Honourable Mentions:
Bloc Party, Intimacy - British band back with another great CD.
Cat Power, Jukebox - One of my favourites, Cat Power went soulful on their latest album. It's good but unfortunately I don't think lead Chan Marshall will ever top You Are Free. One of my all favourites.

Today my dad pimp'd my pad

Today was great. My dad came over and laid down some more carpet around the living room and front hall. I'm happy with the results. Although I screwed up buying the nails to bolt the carpet metal thing down. I had to go back to the hardware store twice. Then he said he would just go himself. He should have done this from the beginning. He knows I'm retarded when it comes to handy work.

He also bolted a full length mirror up high to the wall in my front hallway. It is now truly a full length mirror as I can see my entire 6'5" frame. I think it will be too tall for some of my short friends but they should have there own mirrors at home. Since I wasn't used to the mirror being there, I have caught myself catching a glimpse of a strapping, cute tall drink of water in my entry way and yelling thinking someone has broken into my apartment. It was just my reflection. Yes, I am retarded.

My disco ball also got installed. Yay! It couldn't go in the centre of the room as I was too tall for it. The last thing I need is to be knocked unconscious by a disco ball.
Then I took my dad to Hurricanes and the waitress who was younger than me called him doll. I think he liked this.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Dance move of the week: The reunited

So after 3 nights in Brantford I get to get back to fondling my pussy at home. My dear Mya Pussy welcomed me with (almost) open arms. Mya would like to give a special shout out to Aunt Joni for keeping an eye on her.

To celebrate our reunion. Here are 2 videos for dance moves of the week. Video 1, I was not impressed with my performance and video 2 Mya Pussy was being a bitch. Here are both for you to see.

I do not like the Brantford train station

I am a huge supporter on my small hometown, Brantford, Ontario. I love "Browntown" and have friends there. What I don't like is having to wait for late trains at the Brantford Train Station, especially when it's winter and you can not go out for a reprieve from the small town dirty grey sweat pants with dollar store crocs or the families you can smell as soon they enter (this is not a good smell.) The station is not in the nicest area.

While on the train, I was sitting beside a guy with a huge laptop screen. He was ordering cans of Labbatt Blue by the doubles. It was only noon and the ride was only an hour long. To make matters worse and more disconcering for me. He was resting his open cans on his laptop hands free. People kept bumping me I was a afraid I was going to knock a beer into his laptop. That would not have been fun and he looked as though he may have been carrying weapons. Thankfully and regretablly I took every bump of gymbag, suitcase and (gulp) used pillow of everyone walking past me.

On the otherside of me on the train was a very old man who was eating a sandwich. Everytime he tried to swallow he would make a choking noise. Everytime he did this I grasped and reached across to help. Then I figured out that it's just a noise he makes when he eats. Thankfully no hemlick maneover was needed as I probably would have killed him. Getting old sucks.

Top Albums of 2008: #6

My 6th favourite album of the year: (in no apparent order)

#6 Portishead, Third -

Beth Gibbons haunting vocals are back with the trip hop/electronica band's third studio album. Favourite songs include: Hunter, The Rip, Machine Gun and Nylon Smile.

Honourable Mentions:
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Dig Lazaraus Dig!!! - Just got in to Nick Cave this a few weeks. Awesome rocking jazz on this one off album.
Black Mountain, In the future - Great throw back to 70s rock throw back from the B.C.'s band second album. If I was a pot smoker I think I would love this even more (I am not a pot smoker, I make myself crazy and paranoid enough all by myself.)

Friday, December 26, 2008

Top Albums of the year: #7

Let's carry on with my current not in any particular order, countdown of the top albums of the year.  I love to share music with people.  This band had such a great year that I think most people have heard of them:

#7 - MGMT, Ocular Spectacular.
With dance anthems like Time to Pretend and Kids (Spins magazine's 2nd and 4th top songs of the year) this was one of my favourite albums of the year.  

Honourable Mentions:
Breeders, Mountain Battles- Only got into the breeders once all my friends wanted to go to a Breeders show on my actual birthday last year.  I had the best time.  What a great album.
Pre-sets, Apacolypto - This is my I'm shopping in the Dufferin and I'm not taking anyone's crap CD.  Fast and hard dance.  
Ray LaMontagne, Gossip in the grain - Great soulful acoustic guitar singer/songwriting.  One song called Meg White, She's alright tells of his crush on the Whtie Stripes Drummer.  

Yay! Fun

I have had some great times the last 3 days.  I got to see most of my favourite people from back home (family and friends.)  Santa Katie did an amazing job getting me some pretty cool gifts including wii remotes, Mario Party 8 and the thing I wanted most:a regulation size disco ball with a motor to spin it.  Boo ya!  Dance parties on Bloor Street will never be the same.  This also allows for new lighting effects for dance move of the week.  So exciting!  In my life long quest to only do things and find things that are fun.  It was a good holiday.

I also enjoyed tracking Santa's whereabouts on the Norad website with my nephew Ian.  Hearing an excited 4 year old run across the house to announce "Santa's in Malawi, now!" or the Ivory Coast melts the heart.  It updated approx. every 2 minutes with a new country.

Other highlights include me overhearing people at an open house say "I am tired, let's go" "No, let's get drunk and make Marky Craig laugh.  That will liven up this party."  I am glad to be of service.  I also kicked my sister Laura's monopoly queen butt at Rudolph the red nose reindeer Monopoly.  That was fun.  I also beat her today at Mario Party.  I enjoy winning.  I also got to play guitar hero (snore) with 2 of my favourite cousin's last night and watch old movies from Darrien Lake.  That was fun!  Hope you had as much fun as I did. 

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

And the holidays begin....

Yay! No more work until January 5th. What a nice break this is going to be. It started off tonight with dinner with good friends. Good friends means that they know I wash the tops of my tall boy beer cans so they do it for me when fetching drinks. You never know who touched the can before you.

Tomorrow it's off to Browntown, Ontario for a little R&R. Looking forward to my parent's house. It's big, clean, smells nice and usually full of cheese. Mya Pussy is in good hands with Aunt Jones.

One of my best life skills is maneovering my suitcase on wheels through packed crowds. I will be at Union station Wednesday at 9:30am if you want some tricks and pointers.

I know it's supposed to be all about giving but I really love recieving. It's nice to get presents. Although Santa told me earlier this year I am cut off for life, therefore hoping for big things Katie, (we now do a sibbling draw.) He will be visiting 2 special little boys tomorrow night though at my parents. Here they are:
Happy Holidays!

Top Albums of 2008: #8

#8 Girl Talk

The master of the mash, Girl Talk was back hardcore in 2008. Great album and great show a month ago.

Here is a cool fan video:

Honourable Mentions:
Fleet Foxes, Fleet Foxes - This was a hard one, they are definitely number 11.
Deerhunter - Microcastle - Great walking music
Kylie Minogue, X - One of my favourite dance discs of the year.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Okay, I promise, last time

Music magazine, Spin has just named M.I.A's song Paper Planes the best song of 2008. I totally agree. The album won't make my top albums list as it was released in 2007 but the single for Paper didn't come out until 2008. So for the last time on this blog. In just 3 short months it has been called everything from "kinda boring" to "retarded" to "retardly awesome" and "the background looks sweet." 1429 people have viewed it so far. I think that's quite impressive. Another dance will come soon but I think we need to wait for the snow to melt or else chances of me face planting in the alley. The back ground dancer will be there too. She's a fame whore.

To see more of Spin's lists for best songs, albums and videos for the year click here.

It's official: I'm retarded

Tonight I watched the movie Mamma Mia based on the ABBA stage musical of the same name. I kept waiting for what I thought was my favourite ABBA song, Rasputin. There was no musical number for it though. I even kept trying to guess who was the daughter of the Russian Queen, maybe one of Sophie's bridesmaids I thought. Nope. Nothing. Then after the movie I searched Rasputin. It turns out it's by Boney M! I always thought it was ABBA. Oops! I thought for years it was ABBA.

Since I love the song so much and now know it's by Boney M here is the video:

Albums of the Year: Bon Iver

Okay so last night I decided to try to compile more of my top 10 list. I decided I could easily name over 30 albums I loved this past year. So each post will have an honourable mention listing at the bottom. What a great year for music.

#9 - Bon Iver - For Emma, For Ever Ago

Remember my post is not in any specific order. I think this may be my favourite album of the year. The lead, Justin Vernon wrote and recorded the entire album by himself while living in his father's desolate cabin over a winter in North Western Wiscosin, most songs include Justin's lush vocals with a distant acoustic guitar.

Best Songs: Blindsided, lump sum, Stacks, The Wolves (Acts I and II,) flume and my fav Skinny Love, here is the video to Wolves:

Honurable Mentions.
The Streets - Everything is Borrowed - The Streets are back and happy this time.
Raconteurs - Consolers of the lonely - Jack White can do no wrong.
Santagold - Santogold - A solid and dancey debut

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Edilble cookie dough

My reader Laura from Brantford (not you sister) just sent in this recipe for edible egg-less cookie dough. I posted earlier about how my mother wouldn't let us eat cookie dough due to Salmonella. Now here is a cookie dough safe to eat. Yummy!!!

Since the fear of raw eggs and the risk of salmonella, I haven't eaten any raw dough or allowed my children to do this either. I have definitely missed the yummy taste of uncooked cookie dough. I got the idea for a dough that's safe to eat raw from one of my daughter's friend's moms. The eggs have been substituted with milk, so there is nothing in there to hurt little tummies (or big ones :o). This recipe is definitely not designed to be cooked, just eaten with several big spoons.

1 1/4 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter -- softened
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

In a small bowl, mix flour, soda and salt; set aside. In a large bowl, cream butter with sugars; mix in milk and vanilla. Gradually blend in flour mixture; stir in chocolate chips.

Now grab a spoon and dig in! Store remainder in refrigerator or freeze in blobs for a fun treat later.

This is nice

What a great way to end a weekend full of slips, trips and falls. Legs up, playing wii, enjoying a nice glass of Chardonnay, heat cranked (I'll pay for that later,) listening to Bon Iver (more on them tomorrow, hint, hint) and a beautiful pussy in my lap.

Skype is good

Okay, so I know Skype is old news to most internet savvy people. I'm new to it and love it. Tonight I got to see my 9 month old nephew Aven who lives in B.C. for the first time in 6 months. It was awesome. All you need is a webcam and a mircophone which is built into Macs. I am going to keep this up. It's a great way to video conference for free with family and friends across the world. Yehaw!!!!!

Top 10 albums of the year: Lykke Li

There are 10 days left of this year excluding Christmas. Every day from now until then (excluding Christmas) I am going to highlight one of my favourite albums of the past year. I am not ranking them in order of preference. Just simply listing albums I loved this year.

#10 - Lykke Li - Youth Novels
Swedish Myspace sensation, Lykke Li is a cool mix of El Perro Del Mar and Coco Rosie. The 21 year old released her debut album, Youth Novels, produced by Bjorn Yttling of Peter, Bjorn & John.

Here is the video to my favourite song Dance, Dance, Dance.

Other notable hits: I'm good, I'm gone; Let it fall, Complaint Department (minus the lyrics) and I'm Good, I'm Gone.

New one tomorrow.

A friendly reminder

Yesterday, I was talking to my oldest brother. We got on the subject of the health issues we've had. Nothing to serious for any of us thankfully. My brother did have testicular cancer a few years back but he cured without chemo or radiation but it was still not fun or easy. I told them that I get checked at the doctor's yearly for that so I am good. He reminded me about the importance of self examination. I totally forgot about this. I used to be so militant about checking my "guys" out. Now I am going to get back on track and totally go back to monthly self checks. Besides, like most guys, I'm down with any excuse to touch my own testicles. Here is how to do it. Yes, the illustration has no penis as a few women have noticed. This post is all about the testicles so it is fitting.

For you ladies, don't forget about breast self exams.

p.s. If you were offending by the testicle picture above. A) You shouldn't be. It's a tasteful illustration of the human body B) It's an important message to pass on. C) 3 posts in a row with no picture is unacceptable.

First day of winter, first winter fall

Today I was on yonge a block away from the Eaton Centre. I was crossing the street and then all of a sudden I was on my side. I bruised one knee and one elbow. I didn't really hurt myself though. Some dude asked if I was okay and I said "Oh, ya man. I often fall." What was amazing is that I was holding a coffee at the time of my tumble. Not only did I manage to hold on to the coffee but also I was able to not spill on anyone. The street was packed. A group of guys were all like "Whoa dude! You didn't even drop your coffee. That was awesome." I aim to please!

That area of Yonge Street seems to be dangerous to me.

I don't like cabbies

I don't mean to generalize but most I do not like. I am sure their are some good ones but they are few and far between. The last couple cab rides I have had have not been good ones. One driver took me for a ride around the city and I had to pay extra for not noticing earlier. I should have fought that one. Another cab driver asked if he could something to me in the backseat that I really wouldn't want from a cab driver in the back of a cab.

Yesterday, I was crossing the street to get to the Shopper's. A path had been cleared in a snow bank for pedistrains to get through. A cabbie was parallel parking beside this opening. He fit in the spot with ample room to leave the through way clear. Then as I was 2 steps away he drove right up to the car in front's bumper blocking the hole. What an a-hole. As I turned to sarcastically thank him, I slipped and hurt my back. I was pissed off. Yesterday was not my best day, it got better by the end. I also jumped out of bed right on to my ab roller (that hurt) and bashed my head off the roof of the Go Train.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Today was a very good day

I love days like today. We had our team party last night so I started off slow moving. It's was a good time. We were let out of work early because of snow. I had a delicious free range chicken wrap from Ravi for lunch and I kicked Christmas shopping's ass this afternoon. Even in the snow storm I walked to the Eaton's Centre and then to Yonge and Bloor for more shopping and then walked down Bloor to the Dufferin Mall. All did all that by 5pm. No one was in the malls. It was bitching. Really I am not put out at all by this storm.

Now I am going to watch Burn after Reading, which I sadly never got to see in the theatre. The Coen's are my favourite movie makers. Another bonus, the commercials on TV available December 23 but it's out early. Yay!

Good luck with all your shopping!

Here is me celebrating my good day:

Friday Falls: Friday Decemeber 19

It's not quite as funny as the people commentating but it's still funny and no one got seriously hurt.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

'Tis the season for love....

.....AND PUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only me: Close call

Everyday around 3 I get a tea from the commissary at work (see number 2) I was getting my daily 3 o'clock tea. I like scheduling things and I like how three and tea both start with the letter 'T.' I also like tea and three rhyme.

Well it all went to shit after I bought it. I was having difficulty getting my lid on today. Then all of a sudden my tea cup was knocked over and the coffee and tea counter and my leg was soaked in tea. The staff was awesome they helped me clean up and were generally concerned for my wet leg which didn't manage to get burnt at all. They were I afraid I did. Especially in the crotchal area.

I used to spill a lot when I was a kid. I blame my bifocals. I can remember my siblings always having to run down and cover our Atari computer with towels because I would always spill full pitchers of juice across the table, across my siblings, all over the food, the floor and in the vents in the floor which would lead to our computer room below. I am so gonna have spazy kids. I deserve it.

Egg nog virgin no more

I had egg nog for the first time today. I have been scared to try it the past 27 Christmases. It sounds gross and then I looked up what it was and then I was even more disgusted.

Definition: egg nog, is a sweetened dairy-based beverage made with milk, cream, sugar, beaten eggs (which gives it a frothy texture) and flavoured with ground cinnamon and nutmeg.

a) I don't like raw eggs. They can give you salmonella. It's only worth it if it's raw cookie dough.
b) I don't like either nutmeg or cinnamon.
c) I avoid most fatty foods such as cream (when not iced)

But then I found out it was spiked with rum so I had a glass and all the above rules flew out the window.

"Tis the season I guess. There was also ginger bread cookies. I love them. Yummy!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


A few people have been mentioning my biceps lately. This is so strange to me because I have never had them before. They are fairly new. But I am glad that some people are appreciating the work I am putting in to them. Here is a shot of them in action for all you fans. Now maybe I won't be touched by fans so much. Enjoy!

It's snowing

Wow! I closed my curtains than I went to look out a few hours later and everything is covered in snow. I totally wasn't expecting this. I hadn't seen a weather report today.

Here are some things I like about winter:
1) Winter Jackets with lots of pockets (give your pants pockets a break.)
2) Scarves (Scarves are nice.)
3) When others slip, trip or fall
4) I like snow on the ground with clean walkways
5) Gloves (they keep your hands warm and don't let the cold air dry them out.)
6) Christmas time
7) My birthday
8) Snow days!
9) Red wine
10) Tea

Here are things I don't like about winter:
1) Hat head
2) Wet and dirty floors inside
3) Having to bring inside shoes while wearing boots
4) When I slip, trip or fall (it happens almost daily)
5) Unsholved sidewalks, parking lots and walkways
6) Hard snow in the face

Monday, December 15, 2008

Karma got me today

Today a lady was walking down the street and was being chased by a large box that was blowing down the street. She was laughing as she had to jump over the box. I pointed and laughed. Then the box blew on the street where a car crushed it and undisclosed box dirt went all up in my face. Then the box lady pointed and laughed at me.

Have you seen this yet

An Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at George W. Bush today. I don't like Bush but you have to commend his quick maneuvering. I totally would have eaten shoe.

2 down

Whoo hoo. I got my first 2 presents tonight. My B.C. nephew Aven and my present I am donating to Toy Mountain. Aven is getting blocks. He is like 9 months old but Unky Mark just realized he does have shipping supplies at home so he may be receiving this one late. Then for Toy Mountain which really toys for kids older than 10 I got my favourite board game, The Game of Life. Remember how much fun it was to spin the wheel.

This is a busy time. My blogging is going to have slow down so I can catch up on shopping and bringing good tidings to friends and family.

Here is Aven all ready for the Holidays:

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Cute pussy

Mya Pussy and just took this photo. I think it's cute. I love pussy pussy! Her cute blonde chin gets some good photo time.

Slimming Secrets

A new store just opened in my hood. It's called Slimming Secrets for Men and Women. They sell girdles and shit. I got 3 slimming secrets of my own:

1) Eat Healthy
2) Don't Over Eat
3) Exercise Regularly

There it is. There should be no reason for girdles. I don't think the store will last.

Yay! Christmas time

I have so been sucking at getting Christmas shopping done. I have only a sister in law and 3 nephews to buy for but this year as opposed to others has been the worst. I have gone out 3 times and still come home with only stuff for me that I liked along the way. I think I see vacation days for shopping in my near future.

Also tonight me and my favourite people had our annual Christmas Pot Luck. It was a fun time. I brought vegetable spring rolls and party potatoes which are my awesome Aunt Sue's specialty Here is a recipe for them although I did not do the corn flake crust. I ran out of time and Aunt Sue doesn't do them either. I also used all non-fat or light products as everyone should do.

Handcuff glasses are the next big thing

It's just over a month away until I get to buy new glasses. Yay!!!!!! I have had glasses for the last 24 years. 2 years ago I decided to get transitions lenses. You know the ones that turn to sunglasses in the sun. Well, I hate them. Mine take a good 20 minutes once indoors to change back. Although I see the benefit of having instantaneous sunglasses once you are outdoors, I would rather have prescription sunglasses, prescription normal glasses and maybe even some contacts. Failing that I could always go for chain link hand cuff glasses.

This is why....

Joni is my massage therapist who never actually massages me. Look how strong this lady is. She can carry my 6'5" 180lbs self. Now this is one tough cookie. If you want to experience the magic touch of Joni Jones let me know and I will set you up with an appointment. I love her. Speaking of love it also looks like I am loving my butt. I an kind of caressing it. Ha Ha Ha!

Sketchy, sketchy, sketchy

This morning I heard knocking outside my door. I failed to retrieve the knock because I couldn't tell if it was my door or my sketchy neighbour across the hall's door. Besides anyone who knows me well knows to not come over before noon on a weekend. I love my sleep yo.

Then I went to take my laundry out and there was a girl who looked (and smelt) homeless sitting right outside my door. I yelled and then shut the door. "I am waiting for Lisa" I hear. Then I say "Oh okay" and then open the door and proceed to do my Sunday errands.

This sketchy girl was outside my door from before noon until after 5pm. It was disgusting. I also heard the super talking to her. I will be having talks with my sketchy neighbour and the super so that this doesn't happen again. And what kind of sketchbag girl waits infront of a door for her friend for over 5 hours. Sketchy, Sketchy, Sketchy.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Best store name ever

Ahahahahahahaa!!!!!I have been wanted to take a photo of this on my cell for months but I have been too shy as it's at Bloor and St. George so it is busy. Drinks with an old co-worker this week gave me the courage to finally snap it.

Freezer cleaning

Today I clean out my crappy freezer in my shitty refrigerator. I found in the back of it a box of Maple Leaf farms frozen sausage from back when I was on sausage kick. Remember Maple Leaf had the listeria? I screamed, then I put on my boots and coat and threw it out in Pizza Pizza's outside garbage. My home is a listeria free one.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Only me: Lipstick nipples

Last weekend I went to a very crowded shake a tail night at Clintons'. I looked down and I had lipstick on one of my nipples from a friend of a friends lips. I reported the first offense and then she gave the other nip a hardcore kiss.

The next morning I awoke, it was sunday which meant laundry day so I spray and washed the shirt. It came out clean, or so I thought.

Today I wore my rainbow stripe shirt pictured above in the header bar. I was asked if I had kiss marks on my nipples. My jaw dropped. I thought I got it all. It looked clean when I pulled it out of the closet. I guess not. How very, very inappropriate. Ha Ha Ha!!!

Photo above is of the original staining.

Friday Falls - Fri Dec 12

Here is Kiefer Sutherland jumping into a Christmas. It's self induced but I still consider it a fall.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

This is good: Quesada mexican grill


Sandwiches and wraps are my most favourite food ever. Burritos are included. Today for the first time I went to Quesada at Wellington and John (there are other locations in the city as well.) Forget Burrito Boyz or Big Fat. This is so much better and even offers whole wheat wraps. They have 4 kinds of salsa and choices of Steak, Chicken, Pork or Veggie. They also have tacos and quesadillas. They even sell beer! I am so getting loaded there some time.

Yummy try it out.

I walk fast

I think I may be the fastest walker in the world. If it wasn't for the hip popping I would do the march in the Olympics. Today I walked from Queen and John to Yonge and Bloor in 25 minutes. That's amazing. It's almost 4 KM.

Even on the way back from lunch today I wowed my co-workers. I showed them whose boss and the fastest walker. Although Sonia has me beat when it comes to doing high leg kicks. I am practicing though.

Whoa that pic of the walker looks like he is constipated. You need some fibre my fast walking Russian friend number 2765.

Dance move of the week: The wii remote

It's back. Remember, always attach the wrist strap.

Happy birthday Ian!

Today was my nephew Ian's 4th birthday. I missed calling him because I went out for drinks after work (d'oh!) Here is why I like him so much:

1) He is my first ever nephew. That deserves made love.
2) He loves Transformers. I was a huge Optimus Prime fan.
3) He is a good brother to baby Ben.
4) He likes Mario Kart. I love Mario Kart.
5) He is pretty funny. I love to laugh.
6) He is my favourite nephew! (the other 2 are too young to remember.)
7) He is a sharp dresser. I like to think I am too.
8) He is super smart. I am not so much.

I heart ebay

I love ebay. I dropped my cell phone (not surprising) and the battery got messed. Bell wanted to charge me over 100 bones for a new one. I found a new one still in plastic today on ebay for 10 dolla. Woo Hoo!

I don't buy a lot from ebay but when I do I always score good deals.

For those of you I have a telephone relationship with you it will be tricky getting a hold of me for a week. The battery keeps falling out.

This blows chunks

My favourite band, CSS has cancelled their Toronto show Monday. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! No more cat suits or hula hoops.

I think I am going to need to re-create a concert in my living room Monday. You can come if you want. Cover is 20 bones.

Here is their video to Left Behind. Waaaaaaaaaaaa! :-(

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Happy birthday Aunt Pat

I love my Aunt Pat and today is her birthday. She is one of the most giving and selfless people I know. My dad is the same way so I think my grandparents are owed a lot of credit. It was always fun having sleepovers with my cousins. She would spoil us rotten. She bought me my first VHS movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" at a time when owning a movie and not having to bring it back 2 days later was unheard of to me. She used to host amazing WWF wrestling Pay-per-parties with endless amounts of treats, food and beer (once we reached 19.) Let us swim for hours, I love swimming and

She raised 3 great kids who I consider all friends today. She is one great lady.

Happy Birthday Aunt Pat


Tonight I brought all my change to Sobeys to put them in this magically machine that counts it and then you bring your receipt the cash and they give you money (or you can use it for groceries.) I do this about twice a year.

Today I got almost 90 bones. Boo-ya!!!!! They even take 9.8 cents off every dollar you make (thats how they get you.) But it still seems better than counting it yourself.

I'm gonna blow it on Mya's premimium vet pussy food and the rest on hard drugs and cheap hookers. Boo ya. See celebration below:

eyes open
eyes closed.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Oh shit, she hung herself

I came home this weekend and realized that my dear Mya Pussy was missing her collar. That means she hung herself off something. All cat's should have break away collars that snap apart in case the pussy gets caught and something. I still can't find it. I even checked through the litterbox (not that I would have kept it.)

She must have really gone for it because I have pulled her in from the window once and the collar could take a lot of weight. Here we are celebrating no injuries!

This is hilarious

Not for the sensitive or those who do not want to hear about male body fluids in pants. You may have seen this already too. I've been sent it 4 times already.

I didn't even know you could say jizz on TV. Favourite line: "opened a window and a breeze came in..."

Monday, December 8, 2008

Now here is a funny story...

Yesterday I unfortunately had to use a washroom at Union station so I decided to use the one in the Via Rail section. I ran up the stairs because I really had to go. There I saw a guy lying half on the floor and half leaning against a wall. Then 2 of the guys started to yell at me. I thought they had just pummeled the guy on the floor so I ran quickly past them and I had to pee. Then they starting yelling my name. I turned around and it was my old friends Andy, Shaver and Jarvis from Brantford. They were in town for the Bills game and waiting for the train. I didn't recognize them because they were all in football clothes.

I am such a spaz but it was nice to see them.

A helpful tip to fellow Pussy lovers

It's poinsettia time of year again but listen up all you fellow pussy owners. Poinsettias are poisonous to cats. If you got them keep them out of the reach of cats.

Oh boy, here we go

Tonight I turned on my baseboard heaters for the first time. These things scare the shit out of me. They can cause fires pretty easily if flammable material gets close. Mya Pussy loves dragging my clothes across my pad so winter always causes me more grey hair and sleep deprivation. Here are some tips for baseboard heater safety:

􏰀Check baseboard heaters often and remove objects that have fallen on top or near the heater.
􏰀Keep all furniture a safe distance from your heaters. Never block the flow of heat.
􏰀Never permit electrical cords to drape across heaters.
􏰀Always hire an experienced electrician to do any necessary repair work on your baseboard

Man, I am crazy, wish me luck this winter.

So you think you can dance party

Here are some pics from last night's party. All the dancers were super nice:This is me and Arrasay! Her name is so much fun to say. It always comes out with a Latino accent. She is also drinking my favourite beer. Rickard's White. What a gal!
Vincent one of my picks for the work pool. He got kicked off way too early.

Here is Lisa in the middle and me with some co-workers. Lisa did a kick ass dance with Nico to Pussycat Dolls When I grow up it was amazing.
This is me and Nico, the winner. I look stupid in this picture.

This is Natalii, my other favourite. Her body moves in ways that mine will never.Here is me inappropriately grinding a co-worker. She didn't seem to mind. In the background is Romina, she got kicked off like the first week. She does seem to mind.