Sunday, November 30, 2008

I love Christmas time

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Tomorrow I get to start to get into my Christmas chocolcate countdown calendar, that's exciting. Today I stocked up on candy canes and even found my favourite Christmas movie for only $10. It's Santa Claus: The Movie. Not the stupid Tim Allen ones. This one is 20 years old and stars Dudley Moore and John Lithgow.

It's going to be a busy and fun month. Giddy up!

Yep, I'm a spaz

I'm super accident prone, I have always been. Today I got stuck to the back of a freezer door in the frozen food section of a department store. I think because my coat was wet it stuck to the door like how a tongue sticks to a metal fence pole in the winter (I've done that too.) I was stuck for a good fifteen seconds. First their was the shock of being stuck to the door, then wondering what was making my back stick to the door and finally peeling myself off. I was wearing my parka and left a large batch of fake fur on the door. People were probably wondering what the fur was from. Ha ha ha!

Then tonight I went to grab a bottle of wine from my bar fridge to have a glass with Dexter, all of a sudden the bottle was airborne and flying across the kitchen. That was not fun to clean up. I even cut my foot.

Today was a good day

I love Canadian Tire! For being somebody who doesn't like cars or machinery or tools or camping or fishing, they still have a lot of cool stuff.

Today I found the Tobi there. I have long been wanting one. I blow at ironing. I have burned many clothes and body parts. It also takes me forever. Now like the infomercial says I can easily and painlessly remove unwanted wrinkles. With the Tobi you can also steam clean your furniture. Done and done!

Canadian Tire has them on sale for 90 bones this week.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Maintenance. mantenance, maintenance

After years of screwing up my eyebrows from trying to separate them from growing into one long gross uibrow I went I had them professionally taken care of today.

She trimmed the hairs and then threaded the rest off. I am quite pleased with the results. Although my silver fox single grey eyebrow hair didn't survive. It only cost 12 bones. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship between Bella, my hair remover and I.

Here are some pics of the new brows:
I can't wait for lazy eyes to come back into style. Specials thanks to Michelle for setting everything up. She too, had a little work done today.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Friday falls - Fri Nov 28

Okay, it's not great but this does remind me of back home a bit. Fast forward to 1:24.

This is good: Ball chair stand

I love using an exercise ball as my office chair. Today I was in an office and the receptionist had a chair frame for her ball with wheels like an office chair. Amazing! I am going to find one as soon as I can.

Awesomeness!

I love interviewing

Today for work I had to do 2 interviews. I really liked it. I love asking people questions. I am kind of nosy that way. My parents always thought that I would make a good lawyer as I always have a ton of questions for everyone. I also have a need to know everything and I'll ask the questions everyone is thinking and too afraid to ask.

I have re-enacted one of the interviews with Mya Pussy below:

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Dance move of the week: The Robot

This one was by request. I am sober tonight as I have early morning work commitments. I will do a drunk robot in the near future. It will be better

Legacies

Tomorrow I am directing interviews with 2 men who are being presented "legend" awards at a Marketing conference.

One of the questions I'll be asking is what they want their legacy to be. I got thinking what would my legacy be?
Maybe how I can get to work on the subway and even transfer lines without my hands ever touching any part of TTC property (including exterior doors.) That I think is pretty impressive. I am always willing to share my tricks too. If you want a lesson let my know, but you need to have strong legs to start out with. Other than that, maybe my love for dance or my fun loving attitude and laugh, my love of being Unky Mark or my skills of tastefully spinning on stripper poles (legs always on the outside, never wrapped around.) I don't know. Good thing I am a long way away from being a "legend" it will give me some time to do some actual legendary things (besides being the best uncle ever.)

Now this is a bargain: Canadian Tire

Watch out for these deals at Canadian Tire starting this weekend:

Deck the Halls with select Christmas Wreaths and Christmas Lights half off.
And my love for schweaty balls for exercise is no secret, they have 65 and 75cm balls for $6-$7. I am going to stock up on extras.

My legs are going to be famous


Hot off my summer supporting role in a TD commercial starring Ben Mulrooney as "Bumper #2" where my shoulder and back of my head were prominently featured, I will be going back infront of the camera in a spot for the NFL.

I often get asked on the street if I am a football player. Who could blame them? My large frame, budging muscles, my sheer athleticism, my kick some ass attitude. All qualities the best Football players have.

In this spot my legs will be featured as I walk through the frame in football tights and football shoes. Look for a full wrap up Wednesday evening.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Pussy cleaning

My dear Mya Pussy hasn't made an appearance recently so here she is. She is just about to clean her unmentionables. Enjoy!

Knew who

Friday morning I am doing a shoot and the location is the Academy of Spherical Arts in Liberty Village. I have heard of this place before today. I always thought it was an art gallery with lots of round art. It's actually a high class pool hall, restaurant and bar. Who knew? It looks pretty cool.

I blow chunks at pool so I never play. But I could definitely see myself getting drunk their in the future.

Check it out here.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

This is amazing and so sad

When I first decided to start blogging, I decided that I wouldn't post about anything Perez Hilton blogs about. I like to write about my spaziness, bargains, tips, music and people falling. He blogs about celebrities. Perez has 6 million daily readers I have around 60. So people would know and think I was stealing material from him. But this video he posted today I felt compelled to post. I watched it and I got vercemplt at work. The amazing story of a selfless dying 11 year old boy is incredible and inspiring. If I can share with just one person who didn't see it there than that is a good thing. It's a story that needs to be told. As much as it is inspiring it is sad and heart breaking. Just a warning.

2nd striped sweater of the season

Tonight I picked up my second new striped sweater for Winter 2008. I love stripes, I always have.

I have a sweater kind of like this one already but it has a hood and strings so it was a must buy. Also the medium fit me which was key. Usually I have to buy large which results in too much loose fabric as I am anything but large but need the length of a large.

It's hard to tell but it is black and grey thin striped.

Bigs ups to the big O

One of the nice perks of having cable tv at your desk at work is watching Oprah at 4pm. I don't care what you say this year's living your best life themed season has been amazing.

Today was an awesome episode. Dr. Oz and author Dan Buettner who wrote "The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer from the People Who've Lived the Longest" were on to discuss the secrets to living long.

A blue zone is a place where the elderly live longest and healthiest. There are 4 blue zones in California, Costa Rica, Italy and Japan. Click here to read a short show recap. The most interesting thing I found was that in the The Japanese island of Okinawa they stop themselves from eating when they are 80% full. As it takes 15-20 minutes for your body to realize it's full. How do you know when you are 80% full? You can use smaller plates, cut out dessert or just don't eat as much.

For more on the Blue Zones click here. I will definately read this book once I am done A New Earth, which will be a while, a long while.

No Christmas party this year

Today we found out that our Christmas party will not be happening. I am totally okay with this. If it means some more jobs can be saved.

Although in the past the last 6 I have been too have been pretty fun. He's some highlights.

1) In 2002, A shy Marky came out of his shell and was a bad influence on many unsuspecting co-workers. I'm always shy at first when working with a new group, this was my first ever real job in my chosen career. Once you get drunk with me I come right out of my shell.

2) Last year seeing a waiter knock over massive Christmas tree over on top of a TV personalty.

3) Belle taking out an ice sculpture outside of Kool Haus in 2004.

4) The decor, candy stand and chocolate room at Last year's Zhivago Russian themed party which actually won an award for decor.

5) Drunken, dancing Audrey Hepburns in 2006.

6) Wearing coordinating outfits with dance partner Jizzy B last year. (see below)

Darn doors


Today I had 2 run ins at work involving me, a door and a innocent by-stander.

Door Victim #1 - As I was leaving the fifth floor edit suite at work I realized the door bar didn't meet my sanitary requirements. I didn't want to touch it as it looked dirty so I hip checked it. I didn't mean to hit the door as hard as I did. It went flying into the wall and then slammed on some dude's laptop. I believe the laptop is okay.

Door Victim #2 - I was leaving my office area to use the washroom one floor up. We have a hollow metal door there like the one pictured above. As I went to open the door a large group of people came through it. Then there was pause, "Yes, my turn" I thought. So I popped the door open only bash another dude right in the face with it. Oops.

Both victims are fine (atleast I think.) If my dad was there he totally would have said what he most oftens says to me, "Slow Down!"

I just like to get things done quickly.

Monday, November 24, 2008

If MIA and I were siblings

...she would look like this. My friend, who is an art director and the best photoshopper in the world did this today. It must have been a slow day at the office. That Paper Planes singer is one hot ho!
It's actually a little scary.

Look Ma, no cavaties

Today I went to the dentist. I love the dentist. I go 3 times a year. Still in my 27 years I am cavity free. Now that is an accomplishment. Although we had to do x-rays today. That part is not my favourite. I hate the things they make you bite down on hard.

Flossing, rubber tip gum stimulating, brushing and tongue cleaning go a long way.

Here are 2 tips

1) Always buy tickets from Soundscapes or Rotate This. They only charge 10% service charges instead of raping the customer like ticketmaster. Tonight I got 4 tickets to CSS at Rotate This for $80. Ticketmaster wanted to charge $104. Rip off.

2) This afternoon I was mildly retarded and forgot where on Queen Rotate This is. I have been there before but just had a brain fart. So I texted my good friends at Google and got the address sent to my phone. This is awesome and only costs whatever you pay for text messages. I have unlimited so it's free. You just text to 466453 (Google) and then in the message what you need. I said Rotate this, Toronto and then they sent me the info instantaneous.

There is other cool stuff you can do as well. Like this.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

CSS are coming back

Yay! My favourite band CSS is playing the Opera House on Decemeber 15th. I will be there. Also cool is that Cut Copy has just released a remix to my favourite song of the 'Move.' You can listen to it here. I listen to Move every morning on my way to work as I walk from the subway and up the four flights of stairs to my office. It pumps me up and gets me ready to take on the day.

This will make for a fun lead up to the holidays.

It's official: I'm amazing

Just kidding. But I do amaze myself some days, especially with how strong I am. I'm like an ant. Case in point, today I walked 3 full garbage bags full of clothes and shoes to a donation bin 8 blocks away.

It wasn't fun but it had to be done. It was heavy and I kept popping my water bottle out of my coat pocket. Then I would have to put the bags down to retrieve said water bottle as it rolled down the street. That part was not my favourite.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Don't talk to me in the washroom

I hate washroom talk. A "Hi" is okay but that is where I draw the line. I especially do not like side by side urinal chatter in the washroom. Last night though I had my worst washroom talk experience. I was in Sneaky Dee's washroom, washing my hands (of course) and some old guy came up to the sink and said "I don't even know we wash our hands. My dick is the cleanest part of my body."

I looked at him, my eyebrows lowered. I turned around and walked straight out.

Gross.

I am back with ball

This is my new ball. That's all...

Now this is a bargain: Philly dips

Yummy!

Philadelphia Cream Cheese dips are only $1.88 at No Frills this week. Wowza! What a bargain. I got pickle which I always get plus Ranch. Ranch is one of my most favourite flavours.

I have always been fascinated by Ranch Flavour. I know it's based on buttermilk but that is all I know. Why is called ranch? What else is in it?

This is all I have so far.

Worst leg cramp ever

This morning awoke to the worst leg cramp I have had in my entire life. It started in my hamstring and grew all the way up my leg to my glutes. I shot Mya Pussy up in the air as I quickly tried to straightened my leg to make the pain go away. It last for about a minute before I could straighten my leg. My leg has hurt all day.

I hope this never happens again.

Bird, bird, bird. Bird is the word

Talk about awesomeness sweet little Aussie Angie Bird won The Switch studio recording time in a charity auction. What an amazing gift. She presented it last at Sneaky Dee's and then thier were shoots to celebrate. The Bird rocks!

And The Switch have their final demo tracks up now.

Happy birthday Dave!


Today is one of my older brother's birthdays and it's a big one. 30!

Here is the typical family birthday tribute where I tell why I like them, Here goes:

1) Dave likes alcohol. I love alcohol.
2) Dave has a car. I don't drive
3) Dave is getting married in the summer (I am a grooms man.) Spouses are fun to have
4) Dave is a gym teacher. So that's good. Fat kids need gym.
5) He loves wii and so do I!

Happy 30th Dave!

Friday, November 21, 2008

This blows

My exercise ball just exploded while I was on it and sent me crashing into the floor. My head bounced off the floor. I think I will be okay though.

Man, I should have listened to my sister in law, Marcia when I had them in Now this is a bargain. She recommended stocking up.

Shitballs!

This is Good (in moderation): Smoke's Poutinerie

A new chain of poutineries called Smoke's Poutinerie are opening across Toronto including one around the corner from work above Burrito Boyz.

I love poutine (in moderation, of course) and this was good. I got the basic veggie gravy and added roasted mushrooms. It was really good and for 7 dollars and change was more poutine than I needed to eat.

One draw back is that they only do poutine. No salads which would be really helpful to balance the unhealthy qualities of Poutine. For the more adventurous they have gourmet poutine such as Pulled Pork or Chicken Breast which includes meat pieces in the gravy. The cheese curds were really good. They come straight from Quebec.

I agree with my co-worker smaller portions as a side is probably the way to go.

Let the heart failure begin!

Friday Falls - Nov 21

Enjoy. Wow! Friday already. This crazy week flew by.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Dance move of the week: Fung-Fu

This one is admittedly a little Star Wars Kid. I would like to dedicate it to all the big girls out there. Keep reaching for that rainbow!


This week brought to you by moss

Not one week since I horse played with a giant ball of fake ornamental moss from the Bay does a co-worker who came back from maternity leave say "Mark in the last 2 and a half months you've really grown on me like moss." That is the best statement I have heard in a long time.

To celebrate here are more giant ball of fake ornamental moss from the Bay:
Moss is fun!

I can't take it anymore

I think I'm slightly too emotionally involved in So You Think You Can Dance Canada. What an emotional roller coaster it was this week. I watched yesterday's episode just before the results tonight. Last night's dancing was amazing. So you look up Nico with Lisa and Jesse with Natalii on Youtube. It's there.

Then tonight Natalii who is my favourite girl and I have money on her was spared the bottom 2 for the first time I can remember while my favourite guy who I also have in a pool, Vincent went home. He shouldn't have left. Host Leah Miller was sobbing (nothing new) along with the judges and other dancers.

It all made for good tv though.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Winter 1.5 Mark 0

I often fall. Tonight the first winter storm of the year is no exception. On the way home from the the bar I did a half slip where although I was wearing boots I loss my footing and fell to one knee.

Moments later I completely fell almost under a parked car. It was a complete wipe out and I scraped my elbow as I went down. I am okay though. I always fall. Especially in the winter. Current score card Mark 0 Winter 1.5.

The triple threat came out today

On Monday my company announced that some lay offs would be happening. Today on my way back to work from my lunch time walk a reporter from an undisclosed network shoved a microphone in my face and asked me something about the layoff. I couldn't make out the beginning of what he said as my ipod was too loud (sorry Dad.)

I didn't want to talk to him and he was annoying so he got the you don't mess with Marky death stare + lip snarl + growl. I can't remember the last time this happened. It only comes out when I am overly annoyed.

If you see me doing the triple threat on air on some station please let me know. I would love to see it from the other side.

Here is the best I could do faking it. I know it looks better once provoked.
Other than that I have been pretty positive in these times of uncertainty.
Cheers to positivity and fun. Now I am off to see live music. Fun!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Mark Memos - Nov 18

My work trip to Calgary is cancelled. I am okay with this. My dreams of owning a bitching cowboy hat and visiting my cousin Mike will hopefully happen this summer when the weather is warming.

Although the last 2 days have been cold I am stay taking the 30 minute walk home every day. I do own metropasses but I much prefer to be outside and walk. I love being outside. I will keep going as long as I can take it. Remember to bundle up!

I had a very satisfying cleaning/dancing night tonight. I actually was told to have a good cleaning night by 4 co-workers. They are catching on to the weekly schedule. Soundtrack tonight was Simian Mobile Disco. These guys are really good.

Cheese shops should not be allowed to sell bulk cheese to people who live alone. In the past week I have eaten almost a pound of old cheddar and swiss. I just can't stop myself. Cheese has always been a weakness of mine. I have eaten enough cheese this week. I am usually not this disgusting but I have been starving this week. Maybe my body is telling to gain some weight for the winter.

'Tis the season for giving

Every year I donate a toy to Toy Mountain which distributes presents to needy kids in time for Christmas. I think with the current economic climate more kids will be waking up to no toys on Christmas morning than in the last few years.

Here are links to some toy collection drives if you can spare a toy this year:

Toy Mountain

CP24 CHUM Christmas Wish


And most grocery stores have food bank collection bins as food is also needed by many.

Monday, November 17, 2008

This is funny: Family guy grape lady spoof

This is hilarious.


If you haven't seen the orginal let's go back a few months.

And if you liked that, you'll love this.

Thanks for finding this Michelle!

Fun with giant ball of fake moss

As per yesterday's post giant moss ball pictures.I totally violated this giant ornamental ball of fake moss. I don't think it minded.

I today I got the flu shot


At work today I got the flu shot. I always do as I have a lower than normal neutrophil count (thanks alcohol.) The nurse lady who did it was the best injector I have ever had. I didn't even feel it. Not that needles scare me or anything.

Here are some other ways to avoid the flu:
1) Wash hands often (hallelujah!)
2) Wash surfaces routinely
3) Cover when you cough
4) Use kleenexes and dispose of them promptly

Sunday, November 16, 2008

There is an exception to every rule

As my sister-in-law Marcia just pointed out she had pics of me holding her kids while they were under 6 months. I recall each of these of baby holdings but if you notice I am sitting in each one. If someone picks the baby up, brings it to me while I am sitting and then comes to collect said infant while I am still sitting then it is fine.

As per the pictures below.

This picture I have always not liked. It looks like my massive head is way too big for my skinny little neck. I look like some sort of refugee perhaps.

Music to my ears: Clinic

I love these guys from the U.K. Thanks Belle!

Here is Clinic.

I'm okay going back to work

I like my job. The next time I take a week off I am going away. Sure, I love spending a week working out, partying and sleeping but I don't like spending my day time hours on the streets trying to maneuver around old people and day care strollers full of excessive amounts of kids.

Old people and strollers holding 4 kids, walking 3 side by side are hard to get around. They really slow down the power walking and efficient shopping. I do though love the old people I actually know.

New Burgers in the annex


Mmmmm! Yummy!

Finally those of us living close the Annex are getting a new high quality Burger Shop. The Acme Burger Company, which has been a hit for 2 years in Etobicoke is coming to the Bloor and Bathurst area in between Bloor Cinema/Gazeel and Armoas.

This is very exciting. Hamburgers are my third favourite food after Sandwiches and Tacos. Not fast food burgers. I do not eat those. Just high class burgers. It will be interesting to see how they sack up to my favourites Hero and Utopia. Everybody raves about Craft but I had a bad experience there. The Etobicoke location has been a high ranker on Toronto's best burger lists before.

What's even better is that they play by the rules and cook them to well done. My favourite. I love playing by the rules.

Pussy loves laundry day

Mya Pussy always loves to lie in the laundry piles during the sorting portion of laundry day.

I really shouldn't touch expensive things

Last night while horse playing with a giant ball of fake moss I dropped a digital camera on the floor and it broke. This is not the first time I have dropped a digi. I don't think I should really be touching anything expensive anymore. This happens way too often. It's not a cheap habit.

Maybe I shouldn't be carrying small children either. I do have a no carrying kids until after 6 months rule. They are a bit more hardy after that. I have never dropped Mya Pussy, she would land on her feet anyhow.

Once the camera is replaced I will get some pics of the moss. It was awesome.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

So Not Fierce


The new Beyonce album is previewing on myspace right now. I am a little disappointed. The album is called I am Sasha Fierce. Which is apparently her stage alter ego. There are only 2 okay dance tracks on the album one of which loses cred once she plugs her mom's clothing line in the middle (Single Ladies.) The album which is supposed to be half stripped down, normal Beyonce and the other half is Sasha Fierce.

I want all Sasha Fierce, normal Beyonce is boring. I want her wearing not much clothes singing dance songs. People looking for the usual B are going to be disappointed like me.

The lead single "If I were a boy" is also the stupidest song I have ever heard.

Pussy's favourtie position

This is Mya Pussy's favourite position to be held. We call it babies. She looooves it!

I often fall: Face meets umbrella meets pole

Today I was leaving this new awesome flower shop on Cellege called Jackie O.

Then I ran into two friends I was excitedly tell them about my adventures for the day. Then I walked right in a pole my umbrella got smushed and slightly broken and then my head hit the pole. I am a retard. Sometimes I need to slow down and recognize the hazards around me.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Friday Falls - Fri Nov 14



Here is another one that I can't embed. Just go to the link.

Have a great weekend.

Today I bought a new belt


I didn't want to but I had too. Now that I am well into my extensive ab workout I have built lean muscle mass but also went down a waist size.

One thing I noticed while shopping is that a lot of belts now have double holes. So there is actually 2 metal things that you have to put through 2 holes. I think that is just plain retarded. What was wrong with the old system. I did not give in to this new double metal thingy. I stayed with the classic single hole.

Now my undershirts and ginch won't be hanging out for the world to see.

I am going to miss my old belt, I loved it, it was a gift from Belle. Hopefully me and the new belt will get along as well as I did with the old one. Whoa! This is a long post about a belt. I hear cheese calling me in the kitchen....

I don't do James Bond

The new 007 movie is out today. I am not going to see it. I haven't seen a full James Bond movie ever. I don't understand them.

I am definitely not seeing Quantum of Solace because I have absolutely no idea what Quantum or Solace means.

I did though like playing the Golden Eye video game for N64.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

This makes me very happy

My favourite band and favourite ladies have just posted songs from there studio sessions here.

Some of my best readers are in the band so I like to promote them on my blog. That's friends.

Now this a bargain: Yellow tail shiraz

In my on going search to find the best deals around here is another one.

The best Shiraz you can buy for under $12 is now a buck off at the LCBO. Yellow Tail Shiraz fro South Eastern Australia is now only $10.95. Don't forget to bring your own bag.

This is bad news for my newly whitened teeth.

You're welcome.