Friday, October 31, 2008

I love halloween

I really do. My side street was amazing as I walked home from work. There was some lady wearing one of those big, fancy wigs and big butt dresses from the Victorian era (I think that's the right era but I also suck at History.) She waved to me from across the street. Now I can wave to her every time I pass by. It's nice to see people get into the spirit and have fun.

Mya Pussy got into the spirit. I didn't get her a costume so I just wrapped my cousin Rosemary's wedding garter that I caught around her neck. Maybe she will have more luck with it. I thought she looked funny so we posed for a pic.
Here is a better solo shot of pussy.


Another good thing about halloween? 50% halloween candy on November 1st. Ya Bitches!

And now I become Napoleon...

This is awesome

I enlisted an older co-worker to spin like this in the Tuna Zone at the SYTYCDC taping next week.

It gets really good around 1:30. After the spinning Cloris Leechman seems disoriented, lost, scared and I think she may have soiled herself.

Corky should have just left her alone. I don't think she wanted to spin.

Friday Falls - Oct 31

Happy Halloween! Have a fun and be safe. I just accepted candy from a stranger but I am a sucker for candy.



Thursday, October 30, 2008

Happy halloween

Here is an old myspace blog from Halloween 2006. My first time being Napoleon. It was called: Dynamite, you are not, Napoleon

Goodbye Napoleon Dynamite!


The stage was stage. A year of anticipation. Months of practice doing my Napoleon Dynamite dance. So I begin.

Jamiroquoi is pumping, Pedro has an election to win. Napoleon needs to be on top of it.

I busted, I spun, I twirled...

And Then....
I tripped on my boots and fell.
I fell into a futton and I cut my arm (it looked worse on Saturday.)
.
That is it I declare! It is over. Goodbye Napoleon. Goodbye!

I dedicated a year to the night of Napoleon. I practiced the dance, the voice (which actually is not that much different than my own.) So much so my lips hurt real bad.

(note the tears running down my face)
The fall was typical of Mark and typical of Napoleon. But it is time to move on. Next year there will be a new Halloween and a new Mark, back and better than ever. I am so over you Napoleon Dynamite, Good Riddance.

Now bring me my chap stick

Dancing in the tuna zone

This so sucks. I lost one of my picks in the work pool for So You Think You Can Dance Canada. Jesse went home tonight. 1 down, 2 to to go. I still have Natalii and Vincent. Although I think Natalli's days are numbered. I will be at the taping for Wednesday's show. I will also be busting a move in the Tuna energy zone. Although I don't like sea food I will be cutting a rug. Plus, I will also be giving tips and mentoring to my 2 other picks Vincent and Natalii if I can.

It's devil's night

Remember being a kid and causing shit on devil's night. I have never been a fan of it. Doing bad things have always made me nervous and riddled with guilt for years. I have also used the excuse that I throw like a girl so that I wouldn't have to be responsible for throwing eggs (as I wouldn't hit the intended target anyhow.)

Yep, so not a fan of devil's night or tomfoolery. Well minor tomfoolery is okay on weekends. Once in second year we had no toilet paper so I stole a big toilet paper from Jack Astor's in Waterloo. I am not a stealer by choice but the roommate whose turn it was for toilet paper wasn't having any of it. One of my many roommates thought it would be cool if he filled a garbage bag with the toilet paper and then set it on fire in the middle of a residential street. I walked away as soon as the bag went up in flames. No way I would be caught by the cops in front of a burning bag of toliet paper which would my finger prints all over it.

Because I don't do well with breaking rules I walked down the street that the bag was lit on fire for a week afterwards to make sure it didn't burn down someone's house killing an entire family. Yes, I am crazy. I didn't sleep that night as well. Now that my friends is one example of why I love rules and love to follow them.

So far the neighbourhood seems devil's night free. Maybe since it's Toronto every night is devil's night. Who knows.

Dance move of the week: The shopping cart


I am pushing a shopping cart and busting a move. I love my new computer.

Operaton: halloween costume complete

Woo Hoo! Tonight I got the hardest part of halloween costume. My Superman T-Shirt. It is just how I wanted it. I looked high and low for that bitch and now it is mine. I was looking at the long line up in front of Malabar today and also in the clothing stores in the market they were packed. What are poeple doing? Get prepared and get ahead. That's my number rule. Although I had to work this past weelend so I couldn't have my costume a full week beforehand.All I have to construct now is the feeding tube and head rest. Then I should probably repent. Although I have been doing some really nice things lately. I gave dinner money to a homeless person (which he probably bought crack with,) I told a fat lady on a scooter she dropped her scarf and today in Wal-Mart I report a spill to an associate so that no one would slip. (This is one thing I excel at. Informing people of hazards.) Hopefully karma is on my side for my risque costume choice for a dead celebrity party.

I am being Christopher Reeve but in Clark Kent style so I will have a button up shirt over the T-Shirt. The 'S' will peek through just enough so people will get it.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Spacial Reasoning

My good friend Michelle came over tonight to help me properly welcome the iMac as she is the supreme spacial reasoning goddess. We totally maximized the dance floor potential of my living room. So much so that my dream of owning a disco ball for the centre of the ceiling is closer than ever. I already have a strobe light hooked up so disco ball will just step it up a notch.

Stay tuned, my new living room is awesome and well be displayed soon. I'll also be busting out the moves online sooner than later.

The trick with iSight

So all Macs come with iSight the built in camera. As a director I know that reflections from lights can wreck havoc on spectacles and create quite a spectacle. Here is a tip all my fellow four eyes should follow.

I always make the visionly challenged tilt their glasses slightly to beat the glare. Looky here.

Before (I am watching the Colbert Report, see it in the background. Steven Colbert kills me.)

After (Post tip)

See a little tip does a body good.

Thanks Toronto

I am notorious for walking around with my fly open. I don't know what it is but I have always had issues with this. I think maybe I feel that buttoning and belt fastening is enough and that I am also so easily distracted that I forget the zip upward. It has been something I have been trying to work on for years to no avail.

Believe me though since the weather has gotten colder I can tell when the fly is wide open. Believe me.

Also I have noticed that unbenounced to me I have walked home all 3 times this week with my work bag completely opened. It contains my 2 cell phones, metro pass, wallet, my access cards to 2 of work's buildings, gum and chap stick. It has been flopping around during my 45 minute walks home and nothing has gone missing. Thanks Toronto for not stealing my shit. I have made a mental note to be more careful in the future.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I am a great cook

I am a great cook.  Tonight was chili night on Bloor Street West.  I wowed myself.  Check out the goodness below.  Look at that colour.  Simply scrumptious.

Yay! it came today

My new imac is here and this time it arrived unsmashed.  So happy.  I no longer have bad feelings towards the Apple Corporation.  I often don't hold grudges for too long.  This one I am over.  No word yet on if Apple is sending me an ipod.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Good work out music tonight

So tonight I decided I would do my ab and weights work out to the loop reel I made for a bunch of work presentations coming up. I had to lay down an hour of music no song over 2 minutes to graphics. I got nervous that a swear word could have gotten past my previous checks. So I decided to work out to it to quadruple check. No swears, I knew that but had to check again. It was an awesome work out mix. I may keep a copy of it at home.

Since my workout ended before the reel was done it only meant one thing. Dance Party! Fun, fun, fun!

It's pussy time!

My dear Mya Pussy hasn't made a blog appearance for awhile but she is doing well. I think she is getting excited for Halloween. She is also loving the new bed.

I'll make that a venti

On Thursday or Friday, I got my coupons from Starbucks for free beverages for complaining about how I leaned on a sign and it fell on my foot. Now tomorrow my sign breaking co-worker and I are getting free drinks. They will be good and venti for sure.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I hate guns

This is getting so ridiculous and so sad. The amount of gun violence going on is disgusting. Early this week Jennifer Hudson from Dream Girls found out that her brother and mother were brutally shot and her 7 year old nephew was kidnapped by her sister's estrangled partner.

Last night in Toronto an innocent 23 year old female was killed when hit by a bullet as she was leaving a pub as a gun fight erupted on the street outside. I hate violence and I hate guns. People need to chill out. It's so nice to be nice. Everyone should give it a try. So sad.

This was nice

Okay so I have a baby rat tail at the back of my hair. It will be trimmed a bit this week I hope. But tonight at gospel night this girl I met before told me that my rat tail is one of her 15 favourite things. And she is an awesome chick but as I age I am becoming so bad with names. A lot of people have out right told me they do not like it. The good feedback though is nice to hear.

I am also going to develop a list of my favourite 15 things. I will post it soon.

And now I know

When it comes to folding bed sheets I am a pro. But only the non fitted ones. Fitted sheets are the devil. I can fold the non-fitted sheet awesomely without even letting it touch the dirty laundromat floor. I have even been complimented on my sheet folding. It's good to be tall and a high thread count is key.

Until today I used to roll my fitted sheets into a ball. Not ideal I know but it used to be ridicuosly annoying trying to fold them until now.


Big up to elastics!

This is not good: Belle ate off the road

She is lucky that I love her so much because after gospel night Belle got a stuff grape leaf from the restaurant next door. She dropped it on the road in a construction zone (meaning dirt and gravel) picked it up and ate it. Michelle and I yelled "No!" repeatedly but Belle did not listen. Belle quickly spit it out because it was covered in crunchy small gravel. She is lucky I like her so much. I wouldn't have taken it so well had the person not been highly regarded. Although I did laugh for a good 10 minutes. A good ab workout considering I had to skip the work out tonight.

Now this is a bargain: 1/2 price sale at No Frills

You can't make these for cheaper (that was going to be the name of this feature then I started to like Now this is a bargain.)

No Frills is having a half price sale this week. A pound of spring mix lettuce is only $2.50. 1L of milk is only 99 cents. Ah Caramels which I haven't had since grade school lunches were cheap to. I can't remember how much. Mark tip: Put these in the freezer.

Lot's more. Check it out.

You're welcome.

Testify!

Wow! Tonight was fun. We went to see gospel music at Salvador Darling tonight. It was amazing. We totally went to church. At first it seemed more like CCR then gospel. "Where were all the fat black ladies?" Then she appearred and it was amazing! So good. She sang 2 songs that I knew but don't know the names of.

We also planned a trip to Alabama where Belle and Michelle know a guy named Tiny. I can't wait to go to a real gospsel church, where fat black ladies faint. I would totally fan them once they go down.

One of the band members had a mop with bells all up the shaft. I am totally hooking up my mop and broom with the same treatment. That would bring a whole new twist to Tuesday night cleaning and dancing night.

Michelle even got to play the mop. Belle told Michelle to give it to me. I sternly told Belle no as I was nervous to play it (I am always nervous.) Maybe next time, after I practice I will bust it out. Here is a not so good picture of Michelle playing the mop.


Where did the weekend go?

I can't believe the weekend is over. All I did was work, party, sleep, work, repeated. I broke my cardinal rule of not getting my halloween costume a full weekend before Halloween and I didn't make it to the big and tall shop at Yorkdale for new socks. Which were the 2 things on my list. I guess I will have to hook this up this week sometime but work is not looking so good for the coming week so we will see.

Just a note about big and tall stores. Why does tall have to be included with big? I am tall but I am most certainly not big. I would love to find a tall and skinny store. Now that would be fun. None the less they sell socks size 13 and above which is key.

Mark is not a model

I knew it. I am not model material. A) I would laugh the entire time. B) I would get too nervous (everything makes me nervous.) C) I would probably fall off the the runway taking other models with me.

My job got in the way of my model runway walk lesson on Friday. A co-worker did give me a brief lesson and it was determined that I was not a model. I can't do a sultry face. I just giggled the whole time.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Mark the model?


Today at work one of our directors said that I could be a runway if she taught me how to walk properly. That is a hilarious statement. A) I am not model material. I have a massive nose and a lazy eye. B) I am definitely not graceful in anything that I do. C) I have enough problems walking down the street without falling could you imagine runway. D) I do not like being fussed over nor do I like being the center of attention. It makes me nervous and embarrassed which in turn makes me laugh. You can't laugh on the runway.

Playing travelling basketball as a kid made me aware of this I would always laugh to myself when I had to shoot free throw in basketball. That is f how I deal with stress embarrassment.

I often fall: down the stairs

Today at work I missed a stair and fell down three stairs but I landed on one foot and stick the landing. I briedfly saw my life flash before my eyes as I fell fast and hard down the stairs. I thought I was going head first down the concrete. It could have been bad but I sticked the landing as I often fall but fortunately and luckily I saved myself. If my dad saw the fall he would have told me to slow down.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Silver fox part 2

It's back. Woo Hoo!

My single grey eyebrow has made a re-appearence. I can't wait until my salt and pepper sexy days. I think it will happen in the next 5 years. With the amount of stress and worry I subject my body too it is only a matter of time.

I will post a pic tomorrow. It's not letting me do so tonight.

He is not so super

Tonight I caught my superintendant in the staircase of our low raise being weird with his garbage. He was hiding it behind him. Then as I came up the stairs I saw that their was garbage water trailing down the steps. "Oh he will clean this up I thought." Then I went to mail my rent and the garbage water was still there.

To make matters worse I fell walking up the stairs hands first into his mysterious garbage water which he decided to not clean up. So gross. My hands have been thoroughly cleansed. The next time I see my super he will get a glare single grey eyebrow hair and all as a talking too.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Here are a few more thoughts

I don't know what to call when I am going to list off a few thoughts in the same post. I hate random as detailed yesterday. Even worse is Hodge Podge. When Alex Trebrek says that on Jeopardy I change the channel. I'll think of something maybe Markisms or Mark Moments. We'll see.


Here we go:


- Cold and flu season will soon be upon us. Don't forget to practice proper hand washing and be mindful not to touch your mucous membranes.


- Tonight I made yummy sloppy joe's. I got the recipe off the back of a box of Uncle Ben's Stuff n Such. At first I was hesitant as I don't usually like to mix my meats but I decided to live a little and try it. It was very good. I had left over wraps so I ate it burrito style.


- Between Friends, the daily comic strip is really heating up. So Maeve is trying to get her friend, Kim out of a bad relationship with Jake. The last few weeks Maeve and Kim have been sitting on a bench discussing. We found out that Kim fell down the stairs years ago while pregnant and miscarried. Jake blamed Kim for being clumsy. This is the stuff you want to read in a morning comic, right? I'm surprised the comic has been going for 14 years. Well Jake met up with Kim and Maeve. Jake was mean and Maeve called him out. Now he is probably going to break more of her jewelry.


- Tonight was a very satisfying cleaning night with lots of good solid cleaning and of course dancing, I had to find some new music for a video presentation I am working on. Good Times.

That's one cold pussy


Today I opened a window to let some air in for Mya before I left for work. It got a little cold in my pad throughout the day. I am going to need to remember that. Now that is what I call a pussy popsicle.
I think the stick should be more centred.

Brrrrrrrrr

Today was super cold. What a drop in the temperature. There were even flurries on the walk home. I forgot a few things about cold weather.

1) The cold hurts all the bones in my head when I don't wear my hat.
2) My glasses sexily fog up every time I enter a building. I have tried everything to correct this problem from walking into places backwards (it didn't work and nor will I try this again.) I have also tried to blow hot air on them in an effort to pre-heat them before enter an establishment.

Like I said it's all very sexy. Removing my foggy glasses to show off my even sexier lazy eye.

Can I just say that I can't wait for Cuba in April.

Monday, October 20, 2008

A few things

I am not going to blog much tonight. I'm too excited to spread like a starfish in my hot new bed.

Here are a few things thoughts. (I could have said random thoughts, but a few years ago I removed random from my vocabulary once it became cool to describe people, situations and things as random. I never liked that.)

- The Sarah Silverman Program's new season premieres Tuesday at 10 on The Comedy Network. I will be watching.

- I am shipping my iMac back tomorrow morning, no word on the free iPod Touch yet.

- There could be some snow tomorrow. It's way to early. I doubt it will stay if it comes. But here is a tip, get prepared early. You never know and the malls get crazy during the first snow storm. Also if you don't have your Halloween Costume yet, you're going to want to have that in order by this weekend. Trust me. I am going to a post Halloween Party where you have to be a dead celebrity. I was told Heath Ledger was too recent so I am going as Christopher Reeve as Clark Kent (post accident if I can make it happen.)

- If you haven't been reading the comic strip Between Friends these days. It's pretty juicy and not that funny. There is this lady (I forget her name) she is in a bad relationship with a guy whose name I also forget. He doesn't hit her or anything but he gets angry we find out through a chat with the lady's friend who I think is Maeve. Tomorrow I will confirm names and tell you more of the back story. It's the weirdest comic ever but I am obsessed with it.

- Always watch for kids behind your cars. In Toronto today a man backed over his 2 year old son, who later died in hospital. This is so awful and so sad. Experts today are saying that you should even walk around your car before getting in it to check. I can't imagine what the father is going through. So sad.

I did it again


I used one of Mya's spare food bowls for tupperware. Yummy Mexican Rice. I love Mexican food. This still does not brother me. Although I think I will buy some more tupperware so that I don't have to use wasteful plastic wrap.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Music to my ears: Ray Lamontagne

I just stumbled on this guy on Spinner's website, he is awesome. Not quite as good as Elliot Smith but close. He's Ray Montagne.

The Lewiston, Maine native's newest album is out now. It's awesome if you like folk, rock and by awesome I mean super awesome.

Here is he's myspace

This is so disgusting

I just came home from walking Michelle home after Dexter. I entered my pad to find my dear pussy throwing a mouse up in the air. This marks the 4th mouse I have had in 3 years and four months. Believe me they are not coming in because my place is unclean. It was even missing it's eyes. I have throughly checked the apartment and cannot find the missing eyes. This is vomitable. The mouse was dead by the time I placed it in a grocery bag and threw it in Pizza Pizza's outside garbage on the corner.

Although my apartment has a lot of character, it's very old, mice ocassionally come in becuase of it. I hate mice. But I don't like to kill them. Once I let mouse number out in a snow storm. I felt bad but I didn't want it in apartment for for Mya to rip it open.

Heavy vaccuuming and carpet shampooing is in my near future. So gross.

I dissed a co-worker, not on purpose

On Friday morning I ran into a short Filipino lady who was shoving some sort of paper in my face. "Oh God." I thought someone is trying to hand me a Jesus paper again. I stuck out my hand and waved it in a no manner as I did the same with my head.

Then as I head for the stairs I hear "Mark Craig" which Jizelle always referred to me as. Always first and last name. "Do you ride home tonight Mark Craig?" "How are you Mark Craig?"

I turn around and realize that I had just royally dissed a fun past co-worker. I felt bad but she got over it quickly. I questioned her shoving a book in my face. She also had different hair, was dressed up and in full make-up. So I don't feel all that bad. We are going to meet up for drinks.

She did Palin again

And Palin was there. This still does not make Palin cool.

Madonna interupted the walk today.

It's okay though, I love Madonna, well since the Ray of Light years not including the album American Life. She has had some of the best dance tracks over the past 10 years. I am not crazy about the older stuff.

I was walking down Bloor Street doing some shopping. When I got to Avenue Road Police were there and they stopped all traffic in both directions. All of a sudden two cops cars came speeding out of the Four Seasons followed by 2 black SVUs (maybe Excalades, I am not really a car person so I don't know.) Followed by 2 more cop cars all with sirens on.

Some old crazy broad was all like "That's Madonna I saw her blonde curly hair." I saw the hair too. Then one of the paid duty officers confirmed that yes it was Madonna and that she is staying at the Four Seasons. Then once the crazy lady got her confirmation she started jumping in the streets being all like "I knew it, I knew it. Then she looked at me and was pointing and said "You're real cool, dude, real cool dude." I was doing nothing cool at the time and I am not sure where that came from. I just turned my iPod up higher and ignored her. She was annoying.

Madonna is lucky I love her as once I was stopped by a government police convey and I was not as accepting. Is it really necessary though for the traffic to stop for Madonna? The last cop was driving so recklessly that he ran into 2 of those orange and black striped construction pylons even bashing one into another cop.

I didn't go to see Madonna. I knew bed and iMac purchases were coming and with cheap seats going for over $100 I had to draw the line.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I hate hate

These scare me. What is wrong with people.

Only me: Element shopping tomorrow


Today I brought home my groceries and threw the bags on top of the stove. Not to my knowledge one of the bags turned one of the burners on to max. Now my element looks like this.

Looks like I will have to make a pause from bed breaking in to buy a new element tomorrow. Only me. I think there will be a lot of these.

Only Me: Gum on straw

It was recommended that Only Me should become a regular feature so here it is.

Today while bed shopping realized after rolling around on numerous beds (which was not my favourite thing to begin with, remember! germs!) I had a straw stuck to gum stuck to the inside of my coat. By the time I realized it was also stuck to my hoodie.

How did the gum get there? Well, let's just say last night while out at a bar I decided I no longer wanted to chew gum. I was also finished with my straw so I stuck the gum to the straw and placed it on a ledge. Then at some point throughout the night karma came and kicked me in the ass. The gum and straw duo join forces and ended up sticking to me.

I deserved it, I should have properly disposed of it.

Belle and Michelle came bed shopping today because they like to watch over me. They were great helps. They got lint rollers. Belle had the farts, like bad man style farts I got blamed twice for her farts.

Programming Note

Hi,

So tomorrow (Sunday) please be advised that there may not be any posts until good tv starts. I bought a new bed today, it comes tomorrow and I plan to spend the entire day breaking it in. Please read the following line out loud in a deep voice:

If you know what I'm saying. Hey, Hey. Hubba, Hubba. Now that's what I'm talking about!

Today I made a very old lady laugh

There was this old lady on the subway today. She was very old, sort of gross in an old way and possibly senile. A young couple came on the train carrying a ridiculously large stuffed parrot. It was bigger than my father and very large. I wouldn't have been able to hug it.

I said "Whoa! It would be so much fun to wrestle the parrot." That is what made the old lady laugh.

Who needs a stuff parrot that big. Where do you keep it? Where did it come from? If only the people who owned it spoke English I would have asked.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Friday Falls - October 17

I don't like Weddings very much (other than dancing and open bars.)

But this is a wedding I would have loved to be at. I think it may be fake but still funny.


See more funny videos at Funny or Die


Have an awesome weekend!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Movin' on up

Today at work we moved to our permanent location on the 4th floor of one building. Since my edit suite is on the 5th floor of another building connected by a bridge that means that I will easily be climbing 1000 stairs per day. I rarely use elevators. Usually I can get thier faster than walking and why not get paid to exercise?

In the mornings I do calf raises while climbing which are good for the hamstrings. In the afternoons I do double stairs which are good for (I think, glutes and abductors.) Those who I have made feel up my legs, which is a lot of you, know that they are pretty rock hard so get ready for even rock-ing-er legs.

I will post a pic of the new space once we finalize the set up. We are not quite sold on the current arrangement but I have a nice view of Queen St W.

A co-worker of mine who will not be moving to our floor until Decemeber sent this to her friends who are my new work floor neighbours. It's quite fitting:

2 things you gotta know about mark.
#1 – cleaning day is Tuesday. Don’t ask to make plans. It won’t happen.
#2 – caffeine and Mark don’t mix.
Also, he enjoys a little ass pinching every once in a while!

I must have a target on me only visible to people off thier rockers

Today outside the Beer Store some middled guy came up to me and was all "Dude, can I ask a big favour of you?" I asked what it was and then he started to shake. He said "I just found out my mom from out East is dead and I just need to get f-ing drunk. Can I have 2 dollars for beer."

I only had a buck fifty. I gave it to him. What a weird situation I am the first person to avoid confrontation by all means. So I just gave him the money. Then in the beer store the guy asked the cashier if he could owe him $12 later.

If his mom is really dead I hope he puts as much effort into going home as he did trying to score some beer.

Today was supposed to be the happiest day of my life

Well, next to the day my dearest pussy, Mya was adopted.

Today was the day I took the morning off in anticipation for my big iMac to arrive. Boy, was I ever excited when Mike from Fed-Ex called and said he was outside with my package. Carried my large box up the flight of stairs to my pad. I opened the box, pulled out my hot, sexy, sleek 24 inch new iMac and noticed that my finger had been cut open. I look at the screen and it looks like someone had shot it. It was broken into a lot of little pieces which had been stuck in place by the protective coating.

I called Apple and after talking to thier people for an hour. I was told thier would sent me a replacement. Do you how draining it is to be on the phone with Apple people for an hour. If you have ever been to an Apple store you know that Apple people are thier own species. It's like they hire only geeks, nerds or dwebs (in that order.)

This whole situation left me mildly annoyed so I walked to work and treated myself to Lettuce Eatery for lunch. I'm going to email Apple and ask for an Ipod for my troubles (Thanks for the idea Marcia) I will post an update.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

This is good: Reusable liquor store bags

Michelle and Belle saw this reusable shopping bag at the liquor store and got it for me. It's awesome that it has separate sleeves so that bottles won't clank. I live closest to liquor store so I am often requested to pick up the sauce for others. Also when I bring beer bottles to people's parties I usually wrap them in clothes or socks (I know, sexy!) Now I won't have to do that.

Sometimes the ladies buy me things that they know will improve my life. A few months back they got me socks monogrammed with the days of the week on them. That is so me.

Mark goes to vote

8:07pm - I grab my voter card and ID and start to make the 2 block trek to the poll.
8:10pm - I return home after deciding that I don't want to use a shared communal pencil to mark my ballot. So I decide to bring my own from home. I've seen some of the neighbours. They look gross. I don't want to share a pencil with them.
11:48pm - Oliva Chow is declared the winner in Trinity-Spadina. This is good news.
11:49pm - Mark is wondering why there was even election again in the first place.
Taking photos of yourself for a blog on election night to make it more interesting is a good thing. Doesn't Elizabeth May kind of seem like the relative who you don't want to hang out with a bbq when she is drunk. Annoying! Also, I am thankful that it looks like Dion is on his way out of the Liberal top spot. So thanks to all the conservatives supporters out there. When your grandkids can't breathe the air outside, you can thank yourselves.

Sharon jones is coming to town

I love Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings. Think Aretha Franklin but better and thinner. It's one of the best concerts I have ever seen before. I saw her twice already. She is playing the Kool Haus on October 29. Sadly, I will be sharing my concert love this night at the Justice show.

Here is a look at what you see if you go, they are amazing.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Bring back your empties

The Beer Store this week announced that over the last 12 months it was successful in recieving 94% of the material it sells back as returns. That is amazing. To reduce your carbon foot print it is so important to to bring back your empties. I have been a fan of this for years. Not for the $1.20 but for the awesome affects it has on the environment. That means that the beer industry is getting back most bottles, bottle caps and boxes. So they recycling and re-use instead of have to create new packaging.

If you don't like returning your empties you should seperate them from your blue box recycling and let the bums and old asian ladies with the grandma carts fight over them.

I got served like a rat in china town

On Friday a female co-worker told me that my current hair situation in the back in of my head was similiar to what you would find in a Chinatown restaurant. I laughed so hard I got in trouble for making noise in the hall.











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Now this is a bargain: Cha, Cha, Cha Charmin

The best toliet paper ever made, Charmin is on sale at Canadian Tire this week. 16 double rolls, that's 32 rolls for just $6.88. It's so thick you can knit a sweater out of it.

Trump your rump, Buy the Charmin! You will be happy you did!

I actually like campfires


For years I have said that I do not like camp fires. Last night at a Thanksgiving dinner party this guy whose name I think was Dave (I have been so bad with names lately, and I no one to blame but my father. I think I am turning into him. I am so awful names these days) tried to prove me wrong.


Through many a laugh, we got down to the bottom of my hate for camp fires. I actually don't hate camp fires. I hate the smell of my hair the next day, especially when the shower hits it and also I hate the smell of a hoody that you have to wear for a week of camping that is all full of camp fire smell. So I have been giving camp fires a bad wrap for atleast 10 years. I cannot describe how awesome the conversation was. People were almost rolling on the floor and everyone was laughing to the point of tears. It was awesome and such a fun dinner party as well. I think the fact that my laugh was out in full force didn't help the laughing. I still have only met one "lady" who said she didn't like my laugh. She was wearing a hat. I nicknamed her Hat Bitch which has stuck and therefore is awesome.


I had to leave after the campfire conversation I would love to chat to Dave (if that is his name) about my hate for Outer Space as well. I like the sun and stars. The moon is just okay after that I don't like anything else, no planets, aliens, space ships, satellites or astronauts.
Let's roast marshmallows!

It's (almost) election day


K-OS, Sarah Harmer and The lead singer from Billy Talent among other Canadian talent have recorded this song to encourage people to not vote Conservative.

Click here to find out who you should vote for in your riding if you don't want Stephen Harper as PM.

Happy Voting!

Free Starbucks, Yes please!


Starbucks head office sent me an email stating that they sending me a few coupons for my troubles listed 2 posts below. Holla!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Happy Birthday Mom and Carolyn

My mom and sister Carolyn are celebrating birthdays today! Wahoo!
Like I do with all other family memebers here are some of the reasons I love these ladies

Mom

1) She gave birth to me. Although I was 7 weeks early so I probably just slid right out.
2) She makes really good food.
3) She still loves me even after I barfed all over her new couch and got blood from a druken split open chin all over the house in my (late) 20s.
4) She is a fabulous baker.
5) She likes reality TV, I love reality TV.
6) She's dutch, If you're not dutch, you're not much!
7) She is all-round nice.
8) She likes wine, I love wine!
9) She is a good steamstress and stain remover.
10) She is a good mom.

Carolyn
1) She lives in B.C., I love visiting.
2) She makes nice jewelery. If only I was a tattoo person, she could give me one of those too.
3) She loves nature, I love nature.
4) She gave me a nephew, Aven. That's fun!
5) She paved the way for me to test my parent's rules, then I plowed through.
6) Before Aven was always around to hear about my post 2am drunken exploits. B.C. time!
7) She likes my jokes, that's fun
8) She loves tacos, me too!
9) She still loves Survivor, as do I! Sadly, I think we are the only ones.
10) She has 2 of my 3 favourite dogs, woof woof.

Happy Birthday!

Friday, October 10, 2008

An open letter to Starbucks

l sent Starbucks the following today:

Dearest Starbucks,

Today I was in your establishment at Queen and John Streets in Toronto. While waiting in the very long line I grew tired. I leaned on a sign promoting hot chocolate. The sign was hanging by 2 ribbon like structures and the frame was cardboard like a box. Once I leaned on the sign it fell off the ribbon attachments and fell on my foot. Don't worry, it didn't hurt me and I am not going to sue. When a co-worker informed your staff about the falling sign one worker was all "Oh, okay." The girl on cash was all "Besides a broken foot what else are we having." I could have been seriously injuired and we didn't even get a free coupon for a free tea. Please in the future make your signs leanable. It would be appreciated.

Also while I am writing to you I would like to tell you about a time about a year ago at the College and University Starbucks. I went there with a friend and ordered 2 ice grande green tea. I was charged for 2 ice tea lemonades. I told the clerk that I was over charged and then she gave me 2 coupons for free drinks. I requested my change instead of the coupons. I was told this was not possible. Then I declared "I want my change!" The cashier then took it out of the tip cup and gave me $2.50 in nickels, dimes and pennys.

That's all I have to say, other than the fact that David's Tea on Queen Street West is delicious.

Nunky Nark Babysits

Tonight I spent the evening with my 2 favourite people, my nephews Ian, 3 and Ben, 1. It was a great time. We wrestled, Ben blew on my stomach to make me laugh. You know when you blow on a kid's stomach and it makes a fart noise, that's what he was trying to do.

I got the kid's to bed for the first time ever with very few problems. Ben fought at first but when down after about 20 minutes. Once the kid's went to bed I watched my beloved Tina Fey in Baby Momma. After that Saved! was on IFC. I love that movie.

I would've taken pictures of my adventures but I didn't want to get the boys all hyper before bed. You know with the flash and all.

It will be fun to be a father soon, well, within the next 8 years. I am not quite down partying yet.

Friday Falls - Oct 10

Happy Friday, Happy Long Weekend! What a beautiful day to end the work week on.


Whoa, I had a fall similar to this in grade school but it was on a chain used to keep cars out of a parking lot. Is that a gun that comes flying out of his pocket?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

This is vomitable

Check out this pic of a rat in the window of a Chinatown restaurant. Yummy!

News cameras have caught rats 2 days in a row at the Happy Seven Chinese Restaurant. Even grosser Toronto Public Health gave the restaurant a full pass on October 2, less than a week before the rats were found. It makes me question the whole pass thing.

Disgusting.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I got nothing

I don't have anything really to blog about today. It was a slow day. Here are my thoughts on a few various things.

- A new poll for the federal election shows the Conservatives lead is slipping, they are now at 31%, the Liberals have increased to 27% and the NDP have slipped slightly to 20%. It may actually be more of a horse race then earlier predicted. Sadly, it is still no where close to being as interested as the U.S. election race.

- The Green Party has unveiled a new crop of commercials with leader Elizabeth May on a train. She is travelling the country by train instead of bus or plane like the other leaders. I know the green party doesn't have a lot of money but these spots are poorly produced. The rule when shooting an interview is to always ensure you have the eyes of the interviewee in shot. We almost get 2 eyes here but we get a lot of the side of her face. Also on SD TV the super with May's name in the lower corner is out of title safe. Meaning it is slightly cut off. The lighting is also poor. Shooting into a window is also not the best idea, if you are not properly prepared to deal with the elements as May is lost in darkness near the end.


- So You Think You Can Dance Canada had their first voting show tonight. Man, these dancers give me a run for the money. I'm thinking I will pick Vincent, Lisa and Jesse in our work pool. The quality of the production of the show is amazing. The Green Party could take some pointers.

- I bought a new iMac yesterday, it should be here in a week or 2. Then watch out. The blogging and video dancing will be fierce and non stop.

- Oh ya, I changed the header again, slightly. Now I'm happy with it.

Okay I guess I had some things to say.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Everybody loves a winner

My distaste for Winners department store is no secret. I have written about it before. I hate being stuck in thier tight aisles lodged between a fat person and shopping cart with no where to go but wait. I am a super efficient shopper I can do a store in about 5 minutes and rarely try anything on.

But to my surprise, I found a new jacket for the colder autumn days. This nice Buffalo black parka (I think that is what they are called.) I didn't even get stuck in an aisle this time.

Only me

At lunch today I went shopping for a new fall jacket. I didn't really see anything I was crazy about until I found an out of place black jacket at H&M.

I tried it on. It fit really and the quality seemed so un-H&M like. I walked over to a mirror to check it out, it was then I noticed there was gloves in the pocket, a second later a realized it had a North Face logo on the front. I was trying on another man's jacket. Ha Ha Ha. He soon realized it too.

He came over and was all "Buddy, that's my coat." To which I said "Oops, sorry." I started to laugh before the pass back was complete. I left the store quickly only to be attacked by a bee outside. It was trying to get in my sweater pocket and hood. I like bees I am calm around them for the most part. This one wanted to get to know me quite well so I took off.

What a eventful lunch.