Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Get your happy dance ready

Lotto 64/9 is $35 million tomorrow. Don't forget to buy a ticket. With all that money you could do some great things for some needy people and still live pretty well.

It's nice to give.

Touched by a crack whore

Okay, I got nothing for today. I have been writting copy for a long format CP24 sales video the last 2 days and well into the night. I'm worded out. Here is a post from my old MySpace Blog about a crack whore who wanted to do unspeakable things to me for money. Beware of Crack Whores. She hasn't been back in over 2 years.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Touched By A Crack Whore

It seems that all drunk and high people are magnetically drawn to me. Weekly I have crazy run ins with a lot of screwed up people. I am also known for my hate of germs and people touching me.

So to my disgust last week on my way home from drinks with my friend Ron at the Green Room and I ran into a crack whore outside my place who was defiantely cracked out and kepted wiping her nose with her finger.

She was all "Hey Baby, let me come up I will suck your [you know what] for $25." To which I reply "No thanks." Then she wipes her nose again and then rubs her finger down my bare arm (with the finger she just used to wipe her nose) and says "Baby, you cold, let me come up and warm you up." Now remember I hate germs and I hate being touched, especially by crack whores. I stuck my arm that was just touched straight out as to not contaminate the rest of my body and decide that although something really gross just happened I will hold my barf back. I tell her to "go away." to which she replys "Sir, you are not very friendly." Her pimp comes over so I still with my arm straight up in the air open my apartment building front door and go upstairs.

I filled the bathtub with the hottest water I can get and then I started scrubbing my arm with anti bacterial soap and a scouring pad. 10 minutes later I decide that all the crack head grossiness has been scrubbed away and I feel good enough to go to bed.

In conclusion, Crack Whores are gross, they are grosser when they keep wiping thier nose and grossiest when they touch you after they touch thier nose.

If you see a crack run before they can touch you.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Thanks for the compliments

Thanks for all the nice things people have been saying about the dance. I love to entertain people and make them smile so I think it's been a success. A co-worker of mine now does the gun shot moves on her treadmill when listening to the song.

I am going to start work on a new song. The only other song I have choreographed is to "Heartbeats" by The Knife, but now that my parent's are blog readers and the content of the dance is a little risque. I think it's best to leave it off YouTube. Who I am kidding? The next time I get into the sauce it will probably end up getting filmed and posted.

Stay tuned!

I hope this never happens again

Steven from Steven and Chris (The CBC talk show) bumped into me on Queen Street today as he came marching around a corner. He kept on going, I was relieved. I hope that doesn't happen again. He seemed very glossy all over.

Happy Birthday Katie!

Wow! As if my baby sister Katie, the youngest of the 6 of us is 23. It seems like only yesterday she was busting out Ariel songs from The Little Mermaid and telling me and my brother's friends who came over that we could be located down deers (down stairs)

Here are some reasons Katie is good.
1) She is super nice
2) She is very easy going (like me but without the germ issues or OCD)
3) She is easily bribed with Wii
4) She is going to teacher's college in Australia in January (That's fun.)
5) She works in a bar (I like having bar connections)
6) She makes good cookies and assorted other baked goods

Happy Birthday Katers!

These bring on the giggles

Here are two funny takes on the upcoming U.S. Election.

First, the always awesome Tina Fey re-doing Sarah Palin on saturday's SNL.

Next up Sarah Silverman, the jewish comedian teamed up with the Jewish Centre for Education and Research to ensure Jewish people get their elderly relatives to vote in Flordia (If you're easily offended, don't watch.)

You may be surprised but I'm okay with this

Today I ran out of tupperware of my leftover rice. So I put it in one of Mya's spare water bowls. It was very clean so I was okay with this. It is no secret that I am germ crazy but this is totally acceptable in my books.

What is not acceptable is what I saw at the grocery store yesterday. In the potato chip department there was a bag of chips that were opened. Not just opened like someone opened them. There was a hole right in the middle, like something like a rat or other rodent had chewed through. This lady was walking by and grabbed a handful of chips from the opened bag and ate them. My jaw dropped, I almost barfed. It was gross. She had a full cart of groceries so she obviously wasn't starving or had money issues. She got a glare from me. She deserved it.

Look at this crazy carrot

I was making salad today, I always make big salads on Mondays and Thursdays. It's one way I ensure that I am getting the 5-10 reccommended fruits and vegetable everyday.

This carrot was crazy and it was growing another crazy carrot as well. Although the conjoined carrot unforunately didn't make it in my bag. I would have liked to see it.

The things I do for pussy

Today I walked 1 kilometer with 40lbs of kitty litter home from the mall. Now that is a good cat owner.

Pussy better appreciate it.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Happy Birthday Pussy!

Okay I am a bad pussy parent. I totally forgot Mya's Birthday on Saturday. I haven't remembered once of her birthday's since she has been mine.

So we celebrated today. She is 7. Pussy got this good wet food I found with whole shrimps in it. She loves it. She also got this:

It's called loco-motion and the feather swings around and Mya chases it. It's good for exercise as well.

Mya almost fell out of my second floor window today as well. She snuck in behind the box fan that was in the window. I calmly called her in for a cookie, she turned to come back in the window and her 2 back feet fell off thew window sill. She managed to pull herself up with her 2 front paws. I grabbed her as well and pulled her in. If she would have fallen that would have been total shitballs. The screen in the window blew off during a blizzard last winter. I think it's time to get a new screen.

Anyhow. All is good. Happy Birthday my little Mya Pussy!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

I am a horrible person

Today I returned a movie 4 days late. I have never done this before. I love rules and I love to follow them. I felt like a bag of shit having to go in and say "Hi, I'm sorry this is late, now please penalize me with your fines."

I had too many things to do to promptly return it before it was due.

This will never happen again. (p.s. I shouldn't have spelt horrible in green, oh well get over it.)

This is not good: Arm Burn

I don't know how this happened but I have a crazy burn on my arm. I think I must have gotten a little too close to a fondue pot but it didn't start to hurt until hours later.

It kind of hurts, not a lot. It may scar. I am okay with that. I have scars everywhere. Scars add character.

This is good: Soapopular

I met up with Marta this week. She knows that I hate germs and had an awesome new product for me.

It's called Soapopular and it's awesome! It's alcohol free hand sanitizer spray. Spray is good because it won't leak in your bag. It's compact too. It's the size of a magic marker.

Alcohol free means it's doesn't dry out the skin. Remember: Skin is a gift, you have to keep it moist. They even have sizes small enough that they are allowed in your carry on luggage. Nice!

Marta gave me 2 but I fell off my bike into a bush so I lost one :-(

Thanks Marta!

Did you know that after a few years of minor speech therapy in my younger years Popular is one of the only words I still have problems with. When I get excited and talk fast it comes out Pop-a-lar.

I am not impressed with my CFL light bulbs

A few weeks ago I replaced almost all my light bulbs with clf bulbs because David Suzuki told me too, through the TV. When David talks I listen. In the past 24 hours I have had 2 of them burn out. I spent over $50 on these brand name light bulbs. I am not impressed.

I thought they were going to be the last light bulbs I was ever going to need because they last so long.

I am hoping that I just got a bad batch. I forgive you David.

Do you know the proper way to dipose of cfl bulbs? You need to wrap them tight in newspaper before discarding. There is mercury in there yo. If you ever break one you need to open the windows for an hour and clean up immediately, do not touch the broken grass with your bare hands and throw all the broken glass into a sealed bag. Safety is sexy!

(Ha Ha Ha, as if I found a semi nude picture of David Suzuki. Apparently it's real and not computer generated. Next I will try to find a Lloyd Robertson.)

A pussy that gives back

Mya has been sleeping in my underwear drawer a lot lately. Today, she was right on top of my favourite ones that I like to wear Saturdays (my favourite day.) What a pleasant surprise when I put them on today and they were warmed with pussy love.

I think I have her warm all my undies for the fall and winter season.

What a good little pussy pussy.

Friday, September 26, 2008

The Dance


Friday Falls - Sept 26

Here you go! Happy Weekend!

Dancing is done and just being uploaded, I will add it as soon as I am back from my financial advisor meeting.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I am in the best mood

Nothing super crazy happened today but I am in a fantastic mood. I had a really nice day. I laughed and smiled a lot. My dance shoot is tomorrow, that's fun. Today we had our location and tech scout.

I also found out that I have multiple secret admirers on the 5th floor at work. That's always good for the ego. I made all my co-workers laugh today when I made a joke about a self-confessed cougars, frilly boots. She loved it too. She calls herself a Crazy Coug.

The weather was beautiful, I had a great work home with a co-worker and stopped in David's for more tea.

Now I get to cap it all off with a birthday party with some of my favourite people.

I love days like these.

Don't forget about the dancing tomorrow!

This is so made for me

Japan is now giving thier aging population air-bag vests incase they fall down. This is awesome. Although it only works when you fall backwards and most of my falls are forwards I am going to try to get my hands on one of these and strap it on!

Safety first

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

This is Good: David's Tea

What a great time for tea drinkers in Toronto. On Queen Street West (just east of spagina, beside the Le Chateau) David's Tea has finally opened up.

It's awesome. I just spent a half hour in their smelling and trying teas (while on the clock, oppsy!) I am so happy loose tea is finally becoming accepted and dear I say, even trendy. It has less selection than All Things Tea on Bloor but it's slightly cheaper as well.

The cute staff was awesome shoving my face into many containers of tea and recommending others. For you caffeine drinkers the selection of greens and black teas yo uare also in for a good time.
I bought Raspberry something for tea time (Everyday at 3pm) and I bought some Mango Macadamia nut for home. Yummy!

Those of us who work on Queen Street also get a 10% discount. Now that is fun.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I'm going to the polls

I'm a little election obsessed. I always get that way. I follow the campaigns, read the platforms, watch the news. It's important.

It sucks in this election that we don't have someone like Obama, who can rally a good chunck of the country together and get people excited enough to go and vote. Instead we have Ned Flanders-like Stephan Harper and Stephan Dion, who often seems as confused as Audrina from the Hills about where he is or what's going on.

It's sad and kind of pathetic.

Anyhow, I got my voter information card today. That's exciting. If you haven't got yours or if your not on the list click here for more information.

Don't forget to vote on October 14 and if you are out of the country then (that means you, Mom and Dad) don't forget to hit an advance poll harder than Lindsay Lohan at an open bar.

I like to follow a schedule

Now that my favourite former co-worker is now a reader, "The Flay" was asking today what was my scheduled activity was.

Here is a rundown on my scheduled activities. For someone who is easily distacted this helps me to stay on top of things.

Monday -
This is a free night, I can do whatever I feel like all night long

Tuesday -
This is cleaning night, it includes, vaccumming, mopping, washroom, microwave and dancing throughout the night to make the chores more fun.

Wednesday -
This is garbage night, it has to be out by 9pm. (Hence cleaning on Tuesday.) I replace Mya's kitty litter today as well. Her litter is cleanned throughout the week but on Wednesday, She gets all new litter, just in time for ANTM

Thursday -
Yay! It's the weekend starting tomorrow night. I use this night to get together anything I would need for the weekend. If I am entertaining alcohol, appertizers, etc. I often try to catch up with some friends on Thursdays as well.

Friday -
No tasks today

Saturday -
Groceries at noon. You miss the early beavers then and beat the afternoon rush.
3 hour power walk in the afternoon.

Sunday -
Laundry at noon. once again you miss the early beavers then and beat the afternoon rush. 3 hour power walk in the afternoon.
I also shave before I go to bed for the week ahead.

That's it. I can still do other things on the days speccified (and often do) but my errands need to be done first.

These baskets annoy me

The new baskets at Dominion annoying. When you have to run in for a few things it's hard to so in a quick manner because everyone is dragging their baskets behind them. I am a super efficient shopper. I can be in and out of any store in under 10 minutes.

Are we that lazy of a society that we now need to roll the baskets that we've carried for eternity behind us. The same goes for backpacks and briefcases, especially in TTC stations. I think people should go back to carrying them. They wouldn't be so heavy if you would buy the kind with no wheels.
I am bound to trip and flying over one sooner or later. Stay tuned.
p.s. When Dominion rebrands to Metro, I warning you, those new uniforms better be curvaceous

Today I got into a walk off with a horse

On my way home today I was stopped by a light at Spagina and Queen. Beside me was a police horse. It was giving me a weird look, I gave it a weird look back. Then he looked ahead and then back at me. I stared back. He looked at the road and then made a loud breathing noise. I took this of him calling me on for a race across the street. Kind of like his tires revving

He must have seen how fast I can walk before. The light turned green, I took off like lightning, the horse caught up but I dug down deep and gave it my all. I sprang forward and beat the Police horse by a full 2 seconds.

I looked back at the horse and smiled as I turned north on Spagina and he continued on.

I totally made glue out him.

Today was a good day

Not only did I make $10 dancing for co-workers. That's right I am starting to charge! We also had a cake party for a co-workers upcoming wedding. Yummy! It's fun to allow yourself to have treats on occassion.

The funny thing is one of the cakes read:


Ha Ha Ha. 2 spelling mistakes. They didn't even get the name right. That is so just like my Blog.

Back in Agincourt I used to bring in my own Birthday Cakes so I wouldn't have to get the dreaded No Frills Slab. My work birthday parties became quite a hit.

Monday, September 22, 2008

This is the best piece of television ever created

(kidding, but) Mr. T hosting an informercial. Awesome!

Although, the product looks disgusting, Mr. T really shines in this informercial. That Darla, isn't that bad either. We were obssessed with this at work a few weeks.

Bless me

Today I had the craziest sneeze of my life.

It was loud and powerful, but not wet. I think my heart stopped temporarily along with a few of my other internal organs, I even had quick sharp pains in my neck, lower back, ribs and one buttock.

I thought for a second I wasn't going to make it out alive. My sister Laura, now she would have been impressed. That girl can sneeze yo. She is in her early 20s and she can make my parents house shake.

I think I survived this one. Barely.

I like my job

It was nice to be back today. I missed editing. I love editing. Today I taught myself how to convert audio sample rates in the AVID. I did a spot for Tina Turner's new CD which I got to pick the music, so that was fun too. I chose "Simply the Best." I missed my co-workers they are good people. I also like how upper management comes to my desk and asks me to dance on command. So fun!

My workouts are also going well. I did 2 and half hours of power walking (1/2 at lunch, an hour home and an hour after dinner.) I also have increased my reps for abs, push ups and weights. I love how since I no body fat the results are instantaneous.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Now this is a bargain: Tazo Tea

If tea is not being made in Asia or South Africia or St. Jacobs (I love Mennonites, I really do!) It should be made by Tazo. The same company that makes Starbucks Tea. This week it is almost 2 bucks cheaper at Shoppers ($3.99) If I could still have caffiene I would all over the Green Ginger. So good. Yummy, yummy, yummy! My favourite! Now I have to settle for wild sweet orange and passion which are still good.

Sales is on until October 3.

You're Welcome!

Emmy wrap up

Did you watch? What did you think?

Here's my thoughts:

1) When Tina Fey was on the red carpet was asked if she plans to meet Sarah Palin. Tina replied not until late November and I hope she has a lot of free time then. Ha Ha Ha!
2) The 5 host intro was super lame. I don't really care for Howie Mandall or Tom Bergeron or Ryan Seacrest. Heidi I love and Jeff Probst is okay although I think she is kind of crazy. I also didn't think the ripping the clothes off Heidi Klum or Tom Bergeron dropping her was going to go over not so well with Oprah.

3) I hate when Tom Bergeron says "Liiiivvvvvveeeeee!" Why do people like that.

4) The graphic treatment used throughout the show seemed really outdated and not cutting edge.

5) Loved it when Sally Field awarded Tom Hanks the Emmy for Best Mini Series and then she asked " Have you been good?" Tom responded "Yes, mom!" Ha Ha, Forest Gump.

6) When Tina Fey won and thanked her parents for giving her confidence disproportionate to her looks and qualifications (or something like that.) That was so nice. I don't have that type of confidence.

7) I want to get hammered with Betty White, that would be awesome. So awesome! She probably has a potty mouth.
8) They should get Conan back for next year. He was awesome.

I often fall: Hold the pickle

Today I was on my usual long weekend walks. I use these for exercise, too listen to music, clear my head and become creatively inspired.

As I was walking through Nathan Phillips Square I didn't see some sliced pickle on sidewalk in front of a hot dog cart. I totally stepped on it and went flying down the sidewalk almost head first into the hot dog cart. Who knew pickles were as slippery as bananas (I have slipped on a banana peel before as well.) Both my hands hit the dirty sidewalk. So gross. They were promptly washed.
Also in germ news, I went to Value Village today to spend time with friends and help them get a vintage exercise bike home. I had that exercise bike all sorts of wrapped around my body. It was a little dirty, which is not ideal but it's nice to be a helper. I also got bumped and my hand hit a city garbage can flap while I was trying to slide in my bagel wrapper in without touching it.
I do, though think that I am getting a little better with the whole germs thing. I still pride myself on not touching any part of the Subway on my way to work.

Simply magical

Seeing the Swell Season last night was amazing.

The night began with an hour long car ride in the always enjoyable Jones' car. The city was packed last night. There was construction, sirens, helicopters, traffic stuck in all directions. I don't know what was going on but it craziness.

Seeing Massey Hall for the first time was incredible. What a beautiful building. We were up high and pointed out the safety hazards before the concert, such as the speakers hanging above not looking like their was enough support and that it could crush the band. A little old lady sitting with her legs out in the aisle. That's a hazard. Or a crossed eye lady in a purple dress jumping over rows of seats. Double Hazard! I know from experience that crossed eyed people should not attempt stunts.

Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova were amazing. Glen can really belt out the songs. I need projection lessions from him for sure. Jam gave them a great review. They were also so appreciative and sincere for the support they received.

It was a great night, a little long (much like this post.) They played for almost 2 hours. I can usually only guarantee good behaviour for 2 hours. So it was cutting it close. At one point Jones looked over at me and I was looking the opposite way of the stage for a period of time. None the less it was fun and good and all.

Spilled Milk

Last night I had a weirdest dream. I dreamt that my refridirator was leaking an incredible amount of milk. It was like pouring out excessively and out everywhere.

I freaked out. I think the dreams gods are trying to remind me to not sweat the small stuff. So I try not to. Meeting a beautiful little 6 year old with Down's Sndrome at the Laundromat today who was such a ray of sunlight and hearing some sad news from back home today totally put this into perspective.

I have also been having recurring dreams that Fergie plays a concert in my parents backyard only for my immediate family. This is strange because no one has ever declared their love for Fergie.
She does though always pull me up on stage to dance to "London Bridge" that part I love.

Tonight is a big night

Yay! The Emmy Awards are tonight! One of my favourite nights.

I'm rooting for 30 Rock, Entourage, Dexter, Pushing Daisies and of course, my drinking buddy Sandra Oh, from Grey's Anatomy.

The Emmys mark the official openning of the 2008/2009 television season with 3 of the big U.S. networks premiering this week. Exciting stuff. I love TV.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I am a good neighbour

The business improvement centre that I live above sometimes has events. The last 2 nights they've been having a gaffitti expo with live Rap. It's loud in my pad but I don't really care.

Everytime I leave my apartment while they are having an event. The organizer lady comes running out and is all "Oh, is it too loud? I'm sorry but it is only for a little longer. It's for a good cause." She makes me look lame infront of the neighbours.

I don't care about the noise. If she even knew how loud it got once she has closed up shop and one of my living room strobe light dance parties are happening she would vomit.

Friday Falls - September 19

Sorry it's a day late. I'm been busy doing nothing.

It's a beautiful out there. Get out and enjoy it!

The new metro uniform

So as many of you know A&P, Dominion, the Barn and Ultra Food and Drug are all re-branding to Metro Stores. Very late last night Michelle and I were in the Dominion on College and the cashier told us to get ready for new uniforms. I asked "Fun! What will they look like?" she said "I don't know but I hope scarf and no more ties." I then replied "And I want them to be curvaceous."

She agreed. She was awesome, she is like 60. We both laughed. I laughed the whole way through the the parking lot. I was even complimented on my laugh by a passerby. Awesomeness.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

2 more sleeps...

Just 2 more nights until some good friends and I are seeing The Swell Season. It's the stars of the Oscar award winning movie "Once." They are performing all the song from the movie live. So excited. I'm going to workout to the movie tomorrow morning in preparation. Plus, when they perform "Falling Slowly" Michelle and I are going to belt it out as well. It's one of our Karaoke duets. I love that song!

It will also be my first time to Massey Hall after 7 years in the city.

I absolutely completely love this song

This is my new favourite song. The Streets - Everything is borrowed. I have only had the CD since Tuesday and I already have 65 listens on my ipod.

Check out the video:

What a great line. I came to this world with nothing
and I leave with nothing but love
everything else is just borrowed

Hot date

Wednesday night Michelle comes over and watches America's Next Top Model and every so often gives me a haircut. Unfortunately, I forgot to confirm that we could time shift it at 9pm which is what we usually do. Due to a 2 hour America's Got Talent, Models was only on at 8pm. Good thing that it repeats a lot of Star and Sunday nights on 'A.' It was the makeover episode, which means my 2 model pools begin next week. This is an exciting time.
Since Michelle and I's hot date was ruined our animals decided to get cozy. Cute!

Yesterday I made lasagna

What a bitch to make. It takes like 2 hours. I have to boil, bake, shread, brown. I have made it before but it is too much work for one meal. I usually save it for the middle of a week off. So I have a few days to recuprate.

Check it out above.

Procrastination Perfection

I usually never procrastinate.

Earlier today Michelle asked me if I knew if I was going to a stand up thing tonight or not. I replied "Michelle, I haven't even figured out when I am going to think about whether or not I'm going."

It just came out that way and it was awesome and then we laughed.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Adventures with nephews: a children's story

Today Unky Mark babysat his 2 favourite people in the world, his nephews Ian and Ben.

We made a hopscoth and played it.

Then we got tired of hopscotch.

We wrestled,

and got crafty. Ben tried on Unky Mark's big shoes.

We waited for the "Pizza Man"
and then we ate the pizza.
Ian spilt his chocolate milk, but that's okay Unky Mark always spills too. Once in Buffalo at a restaurant Unky Milk spilled chocolate milk all over the table and all over Grandpa.
Ian then had a Spiderman popscile and it made his tounge purple.

Ben's tounge turned purple too.

Ben then put on a Knights hat and went to save the day.

The End.

Today was fun.

Monday, September 15, 2008

This pussy is such a bitch

I was just about to blog about how I have selected what Mya is getting for her birthday on September 27. Pussy will be 8. This will be the first year I actually remember her birthday on the actual day (of adoption.) In the past I have always forgotten and then been like "Ah, crap I'm a crappy poppa to the pussy."

So I have already selected what I will get her but I didn't want to buy it yet, she gets into every nook and cranny in my pad. So I didn't want the surprise to spoiled. I'll tell you guys on September 27 what it is as loose lips sink ships.

Mya is lucky she is getting anything as she just jumped on the exercise ball and popped it in 2 places. What a bitch. Looks like a trip to Crappy Tire is in the works for tomrrow.

Music to my ears: New Streets

Yay! Tomorrow marks the 4th ablum from The Streets. It's more upbeat then then previous ones which may upset some fan but I love it. It's almost Mika happy. Happy and fun is good for me.

It's streaming on Spinner this week. While your there check out the Jem as well, she is great.

And it's not even friday

On the Daily Show tonight, Jon Stewart's moment of zen was a clip of Geraldo Rivera talking on his show about how Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert like to show videos of old ladies slipping on ice. Then he followed it up with this clip.

If I could find video of old ladies slipping on ice I would totally post them as well. In lieu of that I hope you enjoy this video of Geraldo falling. Ha Ha Ha

This is good: Tea time!

I love tea! Since having to give up caffiene a few months ago as my body decided it would try to kill me if I drank it again.

I came across All Things Tea today at Bloor and Bathurst. I have been eyeing it for a few weeks. I felt intimidated as I couldn't see in so I didn't know what it was about. Today the door was wide open which I haven't noticed before. It looked inviting and comparable to a Starbucks so I went in. When I asked what caffeine free teas they had they directed me to a wall of probably atleast 50 teas. All with tins that you could open and smell. I was in tea heaven. They had tons of caffeine free and decaffeinated Black, herbal, rooibos and green teas. I got a large 'ginger bounce" and then bought a retarded amount of loose teas.

Then I went to the website and found out that the tea in made in St. Jacobs. I love Mennonites! Having gone to school in Kitchener and all.

It's good check it out.

I am bad borrower

Today I got an email from an editor who loaned me a DVD a long time ago. He asked that I return it as soon as possible. I haven't even watched it. Maybe if I get bored enough this week while I am off I may watch it. I didn't even want it. It's some special edition Superman II DVD where the the director of the first Superman movie quit half way through or something and then finished the movie off using sketches or something. I can't remember what he was saying. I don't even like Sci-Fi and Superheroes.

I should probably watch it due to the recent comparsions I have been to Clark Kent. Someone at a bar the other day told me that I look like him too. I still don't really see it.
When I went to confirm that I still had the DVD at my house I realized beneath that DVD was the Grey's Anatomy Season 1 DVD that I borrowed from my sister in law, Marcia at least 2 years ago. I haven't even watched it. What's more is that I actually bought it for her birthday and now I have it for the majority of the time. Ha Ha. So, ya, don't lend me things.

Today I crashed a music video shoot

Totally unintentional. I was walking home from a day of doing not much through the market and I noticed thier was a Director of Photographer and a camera on the sidewalk. But I didn't see any thing out of the ordinary, no talent, no lights, etc.

Then once I past the camera, the Director yelled 'Action.' Then the Assistant Director, fastly pointed me to the other side of the road. I quickly got across the street while being mildly amused by the whole situation.

Then I see Brandan Canning, who recently came out with a new album come out and start running towards a soccer ball.

If this was one of my shoots there would have been Production Assistants and signs saying to use the other sidewalk. Signs not signage. I hate the word signage. They are signs, they don't need to be glorified with a fancier word.

I guess I just run a tighter ship than others.

Now this is a bargain: Exercise balls

My love for my new exercise ball has been blogged about quite a bit. I love it. So good for the abs. I do sit ups on it and to target legs, lower abs and glutes.

It's only $9.99 this week as part of Canadian Tire's 86th Anniversary Sale. It's the good ribbed ones which is also good for spinal rejuvenation.

I even now use my ball as my desk chair at home.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Missing c.c.

I miss my sister Carolyn. I call her C.C. Get it Carolyn Craig, aka C.C. She lives in the Koootneys of British Columbia. We had a nice long phone call tonight. She is feeling pariculatrly home sick these days having a new baby and not being near her parents or five siblings who love her so much. Next summer I hope to visit her and her boyfriend Alan and my nephew Aven. I haven't been there for 3 years.

So I plan on going. I always have an awesome, laid back time with lots of swimming.

This makes me so very happy

The creative arts emmys were handed out last night and my gal Sarah Silverman won the Emmy for best song. Sarah Silverman and I would be awesome friends. I love for my jaw to drop and laugh at things that I should not be laughing at. She makes that happen.

But sadly Sarah has broken up with Jimmy Kimmel but she still rules. Here is her now Emmy award winning song, "I'm f-ing Matt Damon" and if you like her like me, check out her DVD "Jesus is Magic" I love her.

I am so in love with Tina Fey

Besides Margaret Cho and Sarah Silverman, I think that Tina Fey is my next best funny gal. She kills me. So much so that I have holds on both her movie Baby Mama and the first season of 30 Rock at my local video rental provider. She is too good! I need to live across the hall from her. I would also need to have a suppy of depends, you now the adult diapers for those with squirting problems when they laugh. I've never had that issue before but I think she could bring it out of me.

She totally looks like John McCain's Gun toting, Moose meat hungry running mate Sarah Palin. Here is a clip of Tina doing Sarah.

So have you been watching....

....So You Think You Can Dance Canada? It's actually really, really good. Here in Canada, we have some great fellow dancers. Fellow meaning me plus them.

Did you see the guy Abbottsford who just ran in circles forwards and backwards to REM's Everybody Hurts. Ha Ha Ha!

Also, a few people are dancing for their dead parents and are always good and make me almost tear up.

Also I saw Tre Armstrong, (the female permanent judge with the curly hair) get out of a cab on my side street and walk into a house with a bunch of bags. I think we may be neighbours. I may need to stalk her for lessons.

And that Mary Murphy, she is one crazy bitch. She went from being prim and proper with the bun on her head in the U.S's season one to being the loosey goosey screamer she is today. She must be into the hard drugs.

Some of you have been asking...

About me being in the background of the eTalk interviews at the Idol party. I totally saw it on my big TV but I think I get lost in the compression of the video for online in the shadows.

Here is the link, you want to look for yourself it happens between 3 and 5 minutes. I don't think you'll see me in my purple and white sweater.

My run in with the chow

Today for the first time I met Olivia Chow. What a firecracker she is! I love that chick. I was on my weekend walk and she was across the street canvasing. She smiled, I waved and then she ran across the street to meet me. She said "Hi, I'm Olivia Chow" and I said "I know who you are, you're good, I like you." She was speechless and then said "Why, thank you." Either I'm the easiest supporter she had today or she was deeply creeped out by me. It could go either way. As she ran back across the small residential street she almost got hit by a car. That is totally something that would happen to me.

She looked cute too. She was wearing a black tank top, black pants and an orange scarf tied around her waist.

And as above, she loves cake, I love cake. What a gal.

Okay, I'm going to stop writing about her before the secret service come a knocking.

Almost taking it all off again


Today I had a hot swimming date with my friend Melanie. I love to swim. Finally I have a friend who is almost as much part fish as me. I don't like fish but I love swimming and so does Mel. We went to Trinity Bellwoods which has free swimming every day (Although, I would also pay to swim as I love it so much.)

The only thing that wasn't great was that I forgot to bring my flip flops and I had to go barefoot in through the change room to get to the pool. So gross. As a preventive measure I came home and sprayed my feet with athlete's foot spray. Better safe than sorry.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Taking it off for a good cause

Okay, not all the way off....

Later on last night I met up with some friends and went to the No Pants, No Problem benefit at Sneaky Dee's for the AIDS walk. Pants are optional. I went to it last year as well. Where Belle won for best underwear. Then I wore pants. I was planning on wearing pants this time because I always over pack my pockets with things I need (wallet, gum, sometimes camera, cell phone.) Being in my undies would not allow for these necessities to be readily available.

But in typical Marky fashion, a couple drinks went in, M.I.A's Paper Planes came on and my pants came down. I realized if I just drop pants to my ankles I could still keep my pocket stuff close by. I danced surprisingly well with pants at my ankles. I didn't even trip. I did pull them up to walk around.

It was quite liberating really, once Belle uploads the pics to facebook I will post some of the more juicy, gratuitous ones.

I have bad luck with umbrellas

Today I got poked in the face by someone on street's umbrella. Then My Umbrella got stuck inbetween tree branches. I had difficulty getting it out and almost slipped on the sidewalk while pulling it out. That would have been a hilarious site.

All this happened not a month since someone walking down the stairs at Osgoode station closed thier umbrella and on my head. It was metal and it hurt. When they realized it wasn't closing properly they decided to try close it harder. That lady no longer gets a smile from me in the mornings.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Friday Falls - September 12

Hi Friends! Happy Weekend!

Here is this week's edition.

Yay! A week with no work ahead!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

R.I.P. Single grey eyebrow

The lone grey eyebrow hair I so proudly blogged about a few months back did not survivor the Idol Party. so sad. It was the gateway to distinction and maturity. I don't know what happened but unexpectedly to me it must have been weak and frail.

So much for me being considered as a mature Writer, Director, Producer, Editor. Which was the plan. If I was Gwen Stefani I would totally say "This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

More Dancing

So I didn't watch So You Think You Can Dance Canada tonight as I have to screen it for a campaign I'm doing tomorrow. But my dancing to paper planes was such a hit today that I am booked for more dancing for other co-workers at work tomorrow. I should start charging yo!

And it's my favourite co-worker's, "The Flay" last day tomorrow. So I want her to leave with a bang. I'm going to bring my A-Game! It will be fun.

Nice to see

I love on my walks home walking past the daycare on College just before Kensington Market. It is so nice to see the kids run into their parents arms. It warms the heart to see the kid's so happy to see their parents and the parents showering thier kids love.

Speaking of kids for the first time on Tuesday I am going to babysit my 1 and 3 year old nephews for 2 hours. This will be so much fun. I love those guys. Unky Mark is going to be the fun and crazy Uncle that lets them do whatever they want.

Pictured above is me and Ben, 1.

This is the only thing I have planned for my week off, besides lots of swimming and buying the perfect pair of brown cords. Which I actually found today.

I often fall: Red carpet tumble

When it comes to slips, trips and falls, I have mastered all 3.

Last night at the Idol after party, I tripped over a cable on the red carpet and went flying down the carpet. To make matters worse Ben Mulroney was on the red carpet being interviewed at the time. Ha Ha Ha.

If anyone sees footage of me flying through the frame please let me know. I need to see it.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A little present for those early morning commuters

This morning I was brushing my teeth in my washroom completely buck naked as I had just showered. Little to my knowledge, Mya had pulled the curtain back in the living room which looks right into the washroom. To make matters worse the blinds were up. So many people in thier cars and walking on the sidewalk had a chance to see me in all my glory. Good thing I have been working out.

For all those you got to sneak a peek. You're welcome!

Okay, on my way to the Idol wrap party where my goal is to corrupt all 10 finalists in some way, shape or form including the short, fat guy from Newfoundland who looks like kd Lang. I'll let you know how I do.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

What a retard....

This is priceless. Check out what Stephen Harper said when asked if he were a vegetable, what type of vegetable he would be.

You think someone who is trying to reverse the same sex marriage law would be a bit more careful when talking. Ha Ha Ha

The New Do

Michelle did another great job tonight. She gives the best free haircuts. Thanks Michelle!

Peek a boo pussy

Tonight Mya performed some interpretive dance, re-enacting her birth by popping her head out from the curtains. Oh pussy!

Tonight I had visitors

While vacuuming today as part of Tuesday night's cleaning I heard knocking outside my kitchen window. Outside my window is a fire escape for some of the other tenants. I don't have outside access to it. So I continued vacuuming. Then the knocking got louder and was for sure on my actual window. The blinds were drawn up just a crack, the window open.

I bent over to look out the window and 2 cops were looking straight back at me. They asked me what address they were at. You think cops would investigate which window they were banging on. I said my address and they seemed like they had the wrong address. Then I told them the door beside me was a different address. I may have just sold them out. Oops. Ha Ha Ha. That's okay, I don't even know their names.